Reality

Shane went back to work on Sunday night. I was really glad that he was able to spend as much time with me as he did. I'm glad that he had the PTO to be able to do it. It was extremely helpful. Of course, with that comes reality...

It's much easier to take care of a newborn and an 18 month old when there are two adults around... especially if you are recovering from a c-section. I read some recommendations that kind of just made me laugh a little... "the mom will need time to recover. It is best if she can have a nap in the morning and a nap in the afternoon..." I guess if there is just one baby and no other kids this might be a feasible thing...

I have a much greater appreciation for women that have a bunch of kids all close together...and no help. I honestly don't know how they do it!

Things have been going pretty good though. For the most part anyway... My two older kids have been an abundance of help. I try not to take advantage of their helpfulness, and let them know how much I appreciate them and all they do. A little gratitude goes a long way!

Jeffrey has been improving. He hasn't been crying as much, and he hasn't been throwing as many tantrums either. You can tell that he is going through that toddler phase where he is trying to test the boundaries though. :) I think it's good to have kind of a routine. I've started putting him to bed when the older kids go to bed for school. I also, have gotten into a habit of starting the dishwasher. For some reason, it's soothing to him. Kind of like a white noise machine I guess. Works for me! Added bonus is that by the time Jeffrey is completely asleep the load/cycle is done and I don't have to listen to it all night long.

I admit that yesterday was a rough evening for me. I don't know if it was just everything coming down at once... the realization that I didn't have anything for dinner, and no easy way to make something... I guess the extra or lack of hormones could have something to do with it too. :) Chocolate was looking more and more appetizing!

So, today we made sure to go to the store and get some meals that are made, and just have to be heated up. Not extremely healthy, but still better than going a restaurant every night, which we wouldn't have been able to do anyway, and at least gives me some ability to continue to take it easy until I'm given the go ahead to do whatever I want.

Still, things have been going pretty well for the most part, and unlike after my other pregnancies I am still feeling pretty good emotion wise. At least now I know for sure what I am dealing with and how to deal with it if I start heading down the postpartum depression road. Haven't started there yet though, so here's to hoping!

While I am grateful that my c-section went as well as it did, I will be really glad when I am cleared to do everything I feel like doing. Occasionally I have to break the rules. There are times when Jeffrey has to be held, and the only way to do it is to pick him up (which I try to do as carefully as I can!). Other than that though, I try to do what has been recommended.

One of these days I will write a post that has nothing to do with pregnancy, babies, toddlers, or c-sections... it might be a while though! :)

Chances

I think I have written on here in times past about how at times I wish I had tried harder to not have a c-section with Harrison or Hazel. Of course, you never really know what would have happened, and with Emmett every time a nurse would try to check to see if I had dilated they would comment on how narrow my  pelvis was. Not just one nurse...EVERY nurse. So, realistically, I probably would have ended up with c-sections anyway.

Still, sometimes people wonder if they should try and have a VBAC. Some people are good candidates, others aren't. I would fall in the second category, although my doctor that I had with Hazel really encouraged me to try a VBAC instead of just opting for a c-section.

Once I had two, and then three, it was a given that unless I delivered outside of a hospital, I would have to have a c-section. When I was pregnant with Jeffrey, I seriously debated the pros and cons of trying to deliver vaginally versus just having a c-section, and decided it wasn't worth the risk.

With Emmett, when I had my c-section, it was a really good thing I didn't go into full-blown labor because my doctor found a thin spot on the previous scar. When he told me that, I wondered if Emmett would be the last, and if I should start to mentally prepare myself for the other surgeries I knew I would eventually have to have.

So, the next day I asked him what it meant exactly... he told me that it didn't change anything in regards to having more kids, although it would be good to wait at least a year before getting pregnant again. What it did mean was that it was good that I didn't go into actual labor because the risk of my uterus rupturing went up higher.

Because I have to have c-sections I am so glad that I have a doctor who excels at doing surgery. Even this time around, the c-section time was around the short time for a good surgeon, and that was because he was training one of his employees to assist on a c-section. It was about 30 minutes. Otherwise, it probably would have been 15 minutes like Jeffrey's was. :)

37

So, today I am officially 37 weeks along.

I know for most people this would give them a sigh of relief, and give them warm fuzzy happy thoughts that they made it to "full-term" or the "safe zone."

It doesn't equal that for me. I know that every baby is different, but Hazel was mid-way into her 37th week of development when she was delivered, and you know what? She was not okay, and she was not ready to be born.

Whenever they have measured Emmett via ultrasound, he always measures a week smaller. When they would measure Hazel she measured 2 weeks smaller. So, it will be interesting to see how big Emmett is when he is actually born.

So, I am content (not comfortable) but definitely content to let the days continue to tick by until Emmett is ready.

If I actually make it to the date of the scheduled c-section, I am perfectly fine with that. Of course, Shane would  prefer a Friday because then he can take more time off without having to use his PTO. :)

Turned

So, I went to my 36 week doctor appointment today. I told my doctor that I had gone to the chiropractor and wondered if Emmett had turned and he told me he would check.

Well, from what he could tell, Emmett turned and went head down! Cool beans! :) If I wasn't having a c-section I am sure I would be even more excited.

The c-section is now scheduled. Most people don't think I will make it to that date, but we shall see. If I do, then it will be the first c-section I've had that has been in the evening. All my c-sections have been in the morning. Hazel's was the latest and hers was at about 10:30 in the morning.

So, it will be interesting to see what happens.

Technically on Saturday I will be 37 weeks, and if I start having contractions the way I was before, then they will just deliver the baby if it happens after that point.

It's getting close people! So close!

3 days

It's been a whole three days and I haven't had to go to the hospital once! Yay! I have been pretty diligent about staying down and not getting stressed out, so I am sure it is part of it.

Yesterday we went to the chiropractor and got adjusted. I know, you are probably wondering how I could get adjusted while pregnant, but it is possible, especially if you have a good chiropractor who knows what they're doing, and we do!

Getting adjusted when I was pregnant with Jeffrey was so good to help relieve pressure and pain. So, it was no surprise that getting adjusted this time helped immensely too. My chiropractor even mentioned that because of how my pelvis was torqued it may have been preventing Emmett from transitioning to the head down position, and that now it was adjusted he might end up head down instead of breech.

So, now I am super curious and wondering if he turned! Of course, in my situation it doesn't really matter either way since he will be delivered  by c-section, but it still makes me wonder. :)

Jeffrey has been a real trooper through all of this. There's been a lot of changes to his world the past few days, and I could definitely tell he was glad to be home yesterday evening. We put him to bed, he fell instantly asleep, and is still asleep this morning.

We are 1 week closer to the 37 week goal, and 2 weeks away from my own goal of making it to 38 weeks.

It's amazing what you can accomplish on bedrest though. I have Emmett's blanket edging all pinned, and it just needs to be sewed. I have the blanket I was tying for Jeffrey almost done, and then it's edges just need to be sewn. I looked through all the baby clothes we used with Jeffrey to see if there was anything we needed to add to, and I think we're set for the first couple of months, until we can go yardselling for summer clothes, since Jeffrey was opposite seasons from what Emmett will be.

I am feeling much better about being prepared for this little guy now! The new crib even came and we just need to get it put together.

In just a few weeks we will have a new baby!

Another Day Another Dollar

Well, late last night I ended up back in the hospital. I was having regular contractions on the nifidipine and pain, so, back we went.

It was a good thing in a way though, because this morning I was able to talk to my doctor and ask him a bunch of questions that I had been having...namely, when exactly should I come back. What should the determining factors be... so, that was a good conversation.

He also told me that we really wanted to wait until I was at least 37 weeks along to do anything extreme like deliver the baby ( which I agreed with 100%) unless I ended up in actual labor and then, they would do it.

So, again, I am back at home, on the nifidipine, with orders to do as little as possible, avoid stairs, carrying anything over ten pounds, and so, here I am in bed. :)

I am so so grateful to all the people that have helped so far. There is NO way we could have done this without them. My poor mom is in a situation where she has to hear about this happening from afar, and I know it is just emotionally hard on her to not be able to help out.

Anyway, I am also glad that the baby hasn't been born yet. The largest reason for that is that I know his lungs aren't done developing yet, and he would be little, and he just needs more time! He's been a champ though. His heartrate has been good, movement has been good, and so that is definitely encouraging.

So, positive affirmation here... we can make it three more weeks! My body is a healthy and happy place to be!

Today

So, other than feeling like an emotional pile of goo, today hasn't been too bad. :) The medicine makes me sleepy, which isn't a terrible thing because it helps the day go by. That is kind of sad to write I think, but true.

I have been kind of trying to keep busy by finishing the quilt I started for Emmett. It's basically almost done, I am just working on the edges, which has gotten a lot more interesting since I am doing it by hand, since I can't sit at my sewing machine right now. Still, it is calming in a way, and gives me something to do.

I keep telling my body to relax, and to not have contractions. I don't know that it would be working very well if I didn't have the medicine in me, but it is working ok. I have to keep reminding myself of the emotional turmoil and heartache we went through when Hazel was born.

I will never forget the sounds and experience of her birth. I remember the gurgled cry that came out of her throat because her lungs were full of fluid and not fully developed yet. I remember the rush of people around the OR and knowing that everything was NOT all right, especially when they started saying the phrases to me that they tell people when they need the patient to calm down, and I was the patient!

I remember them taking her out of the room and hearing her desperate screams in the nursery because she couldn't breathe right. (Yes, I could hear her, and I knew it was her.)

Most of all, I remember wondering why I had been so impatient for her to be born, and wishing that I could rewind the clock.

I remember them wheeling her into my room as they prepared to transfer her to another hospital with a more advanced NICU and seeing her hooked up to a ventilator, sedated, and ready to be transported.

I remember all these things, and it helps motivate me to not desire or even remotely want to have Emmett delivered any time soon, unless Emmett needs it.

So bed rest it is! Body, cooperate! :)

More Time

So the past two days have been interesting. I have been to the hospital twice, for 5-6 + hours both times. The main reason for this was because I was having contractions every 2.5 minutes.

It's always kind of interesting when I get these contractions because for most people this would mean they are in full blown labor and the baby is going to be born shortly thereafter.

For me, this means I am having contractions every 2.5 minutes. I don't dilate, I don't do anything but have contractions. Thankfully my babies have typically just been fine for this too and not gone into distress over it.

When I get to this point in my pregnancy, I think that is the main reason they have me go in to be checked out, because I'm sure after a while of having that many contractions, the baby would start to go into distress. I guess.

Because I still have 5 weeks left, leaving the contractions to do whatever they want isn't usually the option of choice, so I am now on nifedipine. That has calmed down the contractions to a desirable level, and I am now back at home, on bedrest, doing nothing, in hopes that I will be able to carry Emmett for a few more weeks, since, like I said before, NO NICU BABIES!!

Anyway, I can feel Emmett move, and on medication I have few to no contractions, so I am hoping I can at least make it to 2 weeks before my due date. I know that at three weeks a baby is technically considered full-term, but my babies tend to like to take their time developing their lungs too (which we learned with Hazel) so for me, 2 weeks early is the beginning goal. :) I guess we'll see what happens!

Transverse update

Today I went to my 34 week appointment. I thought it went really well for the most part. I had another ultrasound done to see if Emmett had decided to go breech or head down. He picked breech. :)

My doctor did measurements on the baby to make sure he was okay size-wise since my 3 hour glucose tolerance test came back borderline high. Emmett's measurements were fine, in fact he measured a week smaller, so, there you go.

I asked my doctor if I should lay off the sweets and things, and he said that wouldn't be a bad idea. Which, basically means no more junk food, and low glycemic index foods for me. :) Also, eating carbs with protein, which helps the blood sugar to not spike.

Things like, crackers and cheese, apples with peanut butter on them, etc...

This morning I ate toast with peanut butter on it and some yogurt and I was full all morning. It was great! It's a half-decent start anyway.

For dinner we are having taco soup, which is also a really good low glycemic index type soup because of the beans and corn. Hazel picked it, actually, and as I was thinking about it, I thought, yeah, actually that is a pretty good thing to have. :)

I always find it interesting at this point and begin to wonder when we will have another baby in our house. It is just mind boggling to me how quickly these last few weeks have gone. After my next appointment, I will being going in every week for a doctor appointment.

We finally ordered another crib, which Shane kind of dragged his feet on for awhile, but I told him Jeffrey was not ready to not be in a crib and that we really needed another one. We went with a convertible crib so Jeffrey could use it, and then Emmett, when he gets to the point where he needs a toddler bed. It will be a few weeks until it is delivered though, so hopefully we will have it up and ready before Emmett gets home!

A Little Pressure...

First, I am going to warn you... this post is about being pregnant... namely, being pregnant in the third trimester, and the last six weeks, since holy cow, I only have SIX WEEKS LEFT...

Anyway, for some of you, this may be way to much information. More than you ever wanted to know or read about, so that is why I am WARNING you. For others, you will probably just nod your head, smile, maybe chuckle a little as you totally relate to what I am going to write about.

I have reached that wonderful time where I feel like my body is being split in two. :) I never experienced this with Harrison. I don't know if it was just because he was my first baby or what, but I never did.

Hazel...WOW. I was in total shock and seriously thought something was wrong, because no one told me that this would happen and it HURT! Every day. Every minute.

So, when being pregnant with Jeffrey rolled around, I was prepared and knew what to expect so it didn't hurt so bad. It still hurt, just not bad, like the hurt you don't expect.

And now, it's that time with Emmett. It lets me know that my body is trying to prepare for something it will never achieve, since it doesn't really know what it means to dilate. I find this interesting since my body finds great enjoyment in getting prepared for the big day, but when that day rolls around... chirp chirp, chirp chirp.

So, basically, my pelvis is starting to spread apart. Sound painful? It is. :) It seems to hurt worse in the evening, which makes sense, since all my body wants to do is lay down, and gravity has been helping everything pull downward and apart.

I keep telling myself that this time around we are going to make it even longer then I ever have before! No NICU babies! I've already experienced that once, and while I am extremely grateful that that technology exists, I really don't want to experience it again.

Transverse

So I had my 32 week OB appointment today. They did another ultrasound and discovered that Emmett is lying transverse. I don't blame him, there is probably more room that way! Seriously though, it does make things a little more interesting and a little more high risk, even though I'm already that way anyway since I'm a c-section patient.

So, at my 34 week appointment, I will have another ultrasound, and another until Emmett decides what he's doing...whether that's to be breech, or head down. Or who knows, he may decide that he likes being transverse.

Fluid level looked good, everything else looked good. So, yay! Well, not EVERYTHING... I get to go do the lovely 3 hour glucose tolerance test next week. Yippee. Hopefully it will be like the others and come back normal. It also means I need to buckle down and eat the way I know I should be eating anyway and not eat so much sugar.

And in other news... Jeffrey is doing better! I am doing better! Now Hazel is sick. We are working on that and hopefully it will just stay in the, my throat hurts stage... :)

Still, I can HEAR again!! Hallelujah! I can mostly breathe through my nose. YES! Things are beginning to look up.

Breathe III

So, today I called my OB's office just to give them an update, and to see if they felt it was necessary for me to be seen, since my blood pressure seemed to be creeping up today.

They told me they felt like I needed to be seen by my regular doctor first, because the inhaler/steroid combo wasn't completely doing the trick, or my blood pressure wouldn't be going up so high. That and they could tell I sounded wheezy just by talking to me on the phone.

So, I get to go back to my regular doctor this afternoon, and I am guessing they will put me on nebulizer treatments. Hopefully that will do the trick! Hopefully that is all I need. Emmett seems to be doing okay, and moving around, so I am hoping it will stay that way.

This all makes me think about when I was pregnant with Harrison. I don't have pneumonia, like I ended up having with him, but still... When I was pregnant with him I got pneumonia, got put on oxygen, and breathing treatments and was hospitalized for about a week until they felt like I was stable enough to go home. I keep hoping that doesn't happen this time!

Thankfully, if they do put me on a nebulizer, we'll just need the medication and some of the disposable supplies, since we have a nebulizer that we ended up getting when Harrison and Hazel were little and would get super bad croup all the time.

*sigh*

I am just so ready to feel better! Still, in all of this I am very grateful that we have access to the medical care we do.

Breathe

Today I am grateful for good health... I am grateful for that, because it is something I'm not really experiencing right now!

A few weeks ago...hmm...I think it was right after Christmas time, Jeffrey and I got a nasty cold. His automatically had a cough attached... mine just had a lot of kleenex usage involved... I helped temper it by using essential oils, but I still got sinusitis.

Tomorrow I start my second round of zithromax. Zithromax isn't something they typically like to give to people for sinusitis, because it doesn't stay in the system long enough, but since I am allergic to almost every other family of antibiotics, they have to prescribe it to me.

This is one of the huge reasons why I try to get the infections and things to not even start by using essential oils when I first get a virus.

I did start to feel better almost immediately after starting the first round...but then, whether because I got a different cold with similar symptoms or what, the drainage slowly started returning, and now I have a lovely cough too, and I've lost my voice, and basically just feel yucko.

My OB doctor knows about it though, so I am definitely keeping tabs with him, and tonight I finally got the humidifier out...or I guess I should say, Shane got the humidifier out, and hopefully that will help too.

My last monthly OB visit was on Wednesday, and everything sounded and measured fine. Now I start having appointments every two weeks! At my next visit they will do another ultrasound.

I went and saw my chiropractor today too. Hopefully that will boost my immune system enough to get rid of this nasty cold! Apparently being adjusted can boost your immune system up to 50%. That and now my hips and ankle don't hurt. So there you go. The joys of getting older. :)

Simply Amazing...

I was just laying here trying to convince myself I should sleep, and I can feel Emmett squirming around inside me. It's one of the things I can never get over... probably one of my favorite things about being pregnant, is feeling a baby move. Feeling life inside life.

I suppose it's that same feeling that makes it impossible for me to comprehend why someone would choose to end that life. Of course I watch TV and have a difficult time comprehending the whole, date and have sex with whomever whenever lifestyle too... :)

So, it just occurred to me that by my doctor appointment next week, I will be at the thirty week mark. THIRTY weeks! That means, that if I were to go exactly to my due date, I would only have 10 weeks left. It seems so short when I think about it like that especially when I think about how most of my kids are born two weeks early.

It's also kind of funny, because I already call my kids by the wrong name. Harrison is Jeffrey, and vice versa, and I find myself calling Emmett, Jeffrey, even before he is born! I'm sure there will be many times where I call Emmett, Jemmett....hehehe....Hazel usually misses the mixup, I'm guessing because she has a girl name. :)

Whoosh!

So, apparently this cold has kicked my butt more than I realized. Today was the day that I decided it had been long enough for my body to figure out if it was going to get rid of the sinus gunk with just essential oils (which it has done before) or if it needed the added kick in the pants from an antibiotic.

It was also the day I took Jeffrey back to the doctor since it had been almost 2 weeks since he first started fighting the same cold. So, he's on an antibiotic too.

Hopefully we will begin to see an improvement!

Anyway, the doctor appointment was in the morning, and Shane asked me if I needed him to come with me. I told him we would be fine, and that he could go to bed.

Apparently I didn't take into account that my body seems to need extra help right now since I have zero energy and as Shane likes to tell me "You're GROWING A BABY." Needless to say, by the end of our doctor visit excursion, I was wiped out, and Jeffrey was rearing to go since he got a short nap in the car.

Still, I have survived, Shane is up now, and I am resting! Yay!

1 to go

I know, every single post has been about being pregnant and almost due, so here is another one! :) It's coming to a close soon though. Then I'll be able to write posts about having a new baby, and all crazy things that I'm sure my kids will say and discover, since they've never had a new baby in the home before...well, Harrison has, but he was only 3 at the time so I doubt he remembers much.

One thing I remember about Harrison at that time was that even though he was only three, he could tell that mom and dad were STRESSED out because Hazel was not at home yet, and his normal three year old world had been thrown off-kilter. I still remember him telling me that he thought it was time to bring Baby Hazel home! I definitely agreed with him!

Yesterday was my second to last prenatal visit. It was unique in that I went to a different doctor in my normal doctor's clinic because he was on vacation. I was rather impressed though. She was very nice, and I could see why a lot of people go to her.

If I make it to my next appointment, it will be my last one before my scheduled c-section!

My doctor is back in town though, so that is one less thing to be worried about. :)

Patience

Patience is a virtue...it's something I have to work at, I admit. I always want things to happen right now, this instant, let's get it done!

So, waiting for Jeffrey to be born is almost pure torture. I want him here right now! Of course, then I remind myself what it's like to have a baby be born too early...and I don't want that either. I am so glad we have made it this far.

I also keep reminding myself that we've waited seven years, we can wait a few more weeks. :)

Final

I know, some of you are probably tired of reading about my pregnancy, but I can't really think of anything else right now.

All I can say, is I am so glad that we have our computer hooked up to our tv in our bedroom. It makes being bedridden so much easier. :)

And...wowee! We have made it to the last three weeks. I am so happy about that!!!! I never thought I would be successfully pregnant ever again. I had actually started to think about possible goals for what Shane and I could do when we got to where our kids were both in college.

I mean, seriously, we would have been in our early 40's. You have to at least have some idea what you want to do with the rest of your life right?

And then, miracle of miracles, a positive pregnancy test.

I know this last month has probably been the most difficult of my whole pregnancy, and these next few weeks are going to DRAG by like nothing else, but can I just tell you how grateful I am to be given this opportunity again?

Even amid the anxiety (because, yes, there is a little, I mean, we haven't had a baby in the home for over 7 years!), we are both, well, really, EVERYONE in our family is so excited to have this little guy enter our home!

What a blessing. :)

Calm

So, today was kind of a crazy day. This isn't difficult to achieve when the majority of the day is spent in bed. This sounds amazing, I know, but it really isn't that great.

First, we went to my doctor appointment. This particular appointment I double-checked TWICE with the receptionist because it was at a different time than my other appointments. I even have cards to prove it, but I didn't have them with me at the time. I didn't realize I needed them as proof that I'm not a total pregnant basketcase. :)

Anyway, my appointment was supposed to be at 10:15, but when I got there it was in the computer as being at 9:15. I was annoyed to say the least, but they still agreed to see me. How nice, since it wasn't my fault I was an HOUR late!

Still,I played the gracious patient, because you never want to be pegged as a difficult patient, and you definitely get better service being nice and agreeable. It's worth it, believe me.

My appointment went pretty well. Now I am on weekly appointments until the baby is born. This is made even more exciting by the fact that my next visit will be with a doctor I've never met before, since my doctor will be out of town for a week.

Doctors are busy individuals, and I am glad he is able to take a vacation. I just wish it had been any time earlier in my pregnancy than the last three weeks of waiting. :) Things with me tend to get a little crazy and unpredictable during that time-frame.

Mentally, I keep trying to convince myself that it can't do anything exciting for at least another week. Everything would be better if one more week went by. The baby would be healthier, and it would just be better all around.

Hopefully my body will cooperate!

We also scheduled the c-section for Aug 29th. I highly doubt we will make it to that date, but you never know. Maybe we will!

And all the while, most of all, I am trying to stay calm and relaxed. :)

Follow Up

Tuesday was my last ultrasound appointment with the perinatologist. I guess for those that are wondering I'll explain what a perinatologist is. A perinatologist is an OB doctor that has specialized in monitoring and caring for high risk pregnancies. That's ALL they do, so they are very good at doing what they do.

Anyway, since my first diagnostic ultrasound with the perinatologist showed that Jeffrey appeared to only have one kidney, I had follow-up ultrasounds with the perinatologist just to make sure that everything else was going okay.

They check the bone growth, head growth, heart, kidney function, umbilical cord function, placenta, and level of amniotic fluid. Every time I have gone to my follow up appointments, everything else has checked out fine.

This last time the perinatologist did mention that they will probably want to do an ultrasound on Jeffrey after he is born just to make sure there really is only one kidney. So, I suppose that even if everything is fine when Jeffrey is born, they may want to monitor him in the NICU just to be sure everything really is fine. I don't anticipate it being a long visit though. Nothing like when Hazel was in the NICU for a month.

This last time we went, you could see so many details on what Jeffrey looks like. We could see his little face so clearly it was almost like looking at the pictures people get with a 3D ultrasound. The kids were with us, so I was really glad that they got to see that. You could also see on the bones the difference between bone and where muscle was. The heart was amazing to see as well.

I guess for me it was especially interesting because I could correlate what I was seeing on the screen with all the things I learned about the body when I took anatomy and physiology so many years ago. It was just so cool!