I've decided ultrasounds are only great when you are pregnant and you know that everything is going well with your baby.
I'm not pregnant.
Today I had my ultrasound. I think it took about 10-15 minutes tops for them to do. It's a fairly small area to cover though, so that's not really surprising.
They won't send the results until tomorrow, so who knows when I'll know what the results say... maybe Wednesday? I'll definitely find out at my appointment next Monday!
It's been interesting today though. Since my appointment on Wednesday, I really haven't felt any anxiety or fear or anything...mostly calm and mostly peace.
Now, it's all becoming more real. I don't really feel fear, just a desire to know what the radiologist thinks. Since I've never had an ultrasound of this area before it's kind of hard to say what I saw. I honestly only have a vague idea. There was "something" but as to whether it's anything to be overly worried about, I have no idea.
So, we'll see I suppose.
Showing posts with label general. Show all posts
Showing posts with label general. Show all posts
Monday, April 21, 2014
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Decisions...and pizza
I was glancing at my blog over the past month or so and I made a decision. I like having an eclectic mix of topics. I like writing about my family, and spiritual experiences, but I also like writing about recipes that I've used, or we've recently decided we liked, or things that really, just didn't work out. I also like writing about my journey in the homeopathic world of things, because I have conditions and health issues that modern medicine can't really fix, so it's intriguing to see if other things will.
Today, what's on my mind was what I need to buy at Costco. I know, deep stuff. This brought to mind our current liking for pita bread. Not pita pockets. Pita bread. It's own little world of carb deliciousness, which actually has a lot of yummy uses. Our family's favorite...personal pizzas. We used to buy the frozen personal pizza's when they would go on sale, but since we've started doing this...I don't think there will be any going back. It's easy, they taste so much better, you know exactly what you are putting on your pizza, and it's cheaper. Did I mention it's delicious?
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
An Apology of Sorts
So, apparently I offended a lot of people with the post I wrote on Sunday. They all assumed it was them I was writing about. To those people I offended, I'm sorry. I was trying to make my writing more personable without pointing fingers to any one person or family. That is the main reason why I revised the post that I wrote on there, afterwards, when they all let me know what I had done.
It was not my intent to make anyone feel bad, gossiped about, or angry, or add any other assortment of emotions there. My desire, was to let people experience a small amount of what I had experienced when I heard the talk I referenced in my post and the reflection that I had with it.
That is the tricky thing with writing. People add inflection where none is given. You never really know how people are going to interpret things, and where they are going to add importance. We get used to talking with people in person, where we can add social cues, verbal inflection, facial reaction, and body language that helps us gauge how the other person or group of people are reacting to what we are saying. You don't have that with writing, so a lot of hurt feelings abound. I think facebook is a really good example of that. Someone will try to write something trying to be funny and lighthearted, and wow, no one will see it that way.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, I had a lot of people that really enjoyed reading that post, which is why I chose to revise it.
I am not perfect by any means. I make mistakes every day. I do things and make choices that afterwards I wonder why I did that certain action. Yes, because I am imperfect, I do things that lead me away from our Savior. I wander off on my own distracting cutoff at times. That is one of many reasons why I am grateful that we all have the opportunity to repent. I am grateful that we have scriptures, prayer, music, church, friends, family, church leaders and a whole bunch of other things, that can help lead us back to the path we should be on. The path that will lead to our Savior Jesus Christ. It is also one of the reasons why I enjoyed that talk so much, and felt like I had to share it on my blog, and because I have friends and family that I felt would enjoy it, I linked it to facebook.
It was not my intent to make anyone feel bad, gossiped about, or angry, or add any other assortment of emotions there. My desire, was to let people experience a small amount of what I had experienced when I heard the talk I referenced in my post and the reflection that I had with it.
That is the tricky thing with writing. People add inflection where none is given. You never really know how people are going to interpret things, and where they are going to add importance. We get used to talking with people in person, where we can add social cues, verbal inflection, facial reaction, and body language that helps us gauge how the other person or group of people are reacting to what we are saying. You don't have that with writing, so a lot of hurt feelings abound. I think facebook is a really good example of that. Someone will try to write something trying to be funny and lighthearted, and wow, no one will see it that way.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, I had a lot of people that really enjoyed reading that post, which is why I chose to revise it.
I am not perfect by any means. I make mistakes every day. I do things and make choices that afterwards I wonder why I did that certain action. Yes, because I am imperfect, I do things that lead me away from our Savior. I wander off on my own distracting cutoff at times. That is one of many reasons why I am grateful that we all have the opportunity to repent. I am grateful that we have scriptures, prayer, music, church, friends, family, church leaders and a whole bunch of other things, that can help lead us back to the path we should be on. The path that will lead to our Savior Jesus Christ. It is also one of the reasons why I enjoyed that talk so much, and felt like I had to share it on my blog, and because I have friends and family that I felt would enjoy it, I linked it to facebook.
Monday, December 2, 2013
Shoes
There always seems to be at least two panhandlers at the wal-mart by where we live. There is a bus stop less than a block away, so it's pretty easy access.
It seems at this time of year, there are more. At least, I see them more frequently. A week or so ago the news for the bigger city by where we live did an "investigative report" on the panhandlers in their area. Not surprisingly, and sadly, they discovered that there were "professional panhandlers." A lot of these guys have their own underground network, and have their "spots" where they take turns begging for money.
Do I feel guilty when I drive on by? Yes. Even though I know they probably make more than we do a year, I feel a little niggling of sorrow. I try to console myself with the thought that I DO donate money to charity, and know that 100% of that money is used to help those in need.
There is one thing I do when I see them, almost immediately... I look at their shoes. No matter how ratty the clothes, the shoes always seem to tell the real story. It is amazing how many panhandlers I see with shoes that are more expensive than the shoes I wear. It may be wrong, but when I see someone with nice unused shoes on their feet, I think to myself, "well, they can't be that hard up or they wouldn't have on such nice shoes!"
Then today, I drove by someone dressed in army fatigues, and I HOPED beyond hope that they weren't wearing surplus army clothes just to get people to feel bad for them...even though that is probably the case... and on their feet, were there army boots? NO. There were construction steel toed boots. Hmm...
It seems at this time of year, there are more. At least, I see them more frequently. A week or so ago the news for the bigger city by where we live did an "investigative report" on the panhandlers in their area. Not surprisingly, and sadly, they discovered that there were "professional panhandlers." A lot of these guys have their own underground network, and have their "spots" where they take turns begging for money.
Do I feel guilty when I drive on by? Yes. Even though I know they probably make more than we do a year, I feel a little niggling of sorrow. I try to console myself with the thought that I DO donate money to charity, and know that 100% of that money is used to help those in need.
There is one thing I do when I see them, almost immediately... I look at their shoes. No matter how ratty the clothes, the shoes always seem to tell the real story. It is amazing how many panhandlers I see with shoes that are more expensive than the shoes I wear. It may be wrong, but when I see someone with nice unused shoes on their feet, I think to myself, "well, they can't be that hard up or they wouldn't have on such nice shoes!"
Then today, I drove by someone dressed in army fatigues, and I HOPED beyond hope that they weren't wearing surplus army clothes just to get people to feel bad for them...even though that is probably the case... and on their feet, were there army boots? NO. There were construction steel toed boots. Hmm...
Sunday, July 21, 2013
Geraniums
My geraniums are dying. This is most likely because of a couple of reasons, but the main one is I have been slacking in watering them... or rather, I have been busy trying to keep my house clean and haven't asked my son to do it for me. :) The other reason would be that it is HOT. HOT HOT HOT! Blech!
In other news... we have a potential buyer for our house. They are "interested" but I don't know if anything will come of it. Either way, it is kind of exciting to have someone at least interested in buying our house after they looked at it.
And finally... I'm a mega grouch today. At least, at this moment I am. I find myself feeling out of sorts and just ornery. I am going to blame the migraine aura I got at the end of church today...and the hot weather.
In other news... we have a potential buyer for our house. They are "interested" but I don't know if anything will come of it. Either way, it is kind of exciting to have someone at least interested in buying our house after they looked at it.
And finally... I'm a mega grouch today. At least, at this moment I am. I find myself feeling out of sorts and just ornery. I am going to blame the migraine aura I got at the end of church today...and the hot weather.
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Summer
It has been an interesting summer. A really hot and dry one, more than normal.
Last year when we went camping we had just laid some free sod we got from our friends. We bought a water timer and set up sprinklers to make sure the grass would get watered. I envisioned lush green grass upon our return...only to my heartbroken dismay, the grass not only wasn't green, it was brown. Everyone told me not to worry, and that it would come back, but I knew in my heart that it hadn't just gone dormant, it had died. (People with black thumbs like myself have an intuition about these kinds of things!) And, I was right.
The water timer had malfunctioned, and the grass all died.
This year when we went camping, again we set up the water timer, only this time it was for my flower bed, because I told Shane if we came back and all my flowers were dead, I would be even more sad than I was about the grass. As a backup Shane asked our neighbor to monitor our flowers and make sure they got watered.
The water timer malfunctioned AGAIN.
So, what is the lesson here? Don't buy a water timer that is for use with hoses and sprinklers! :) Thankfully, this time, because of our neighbor, our flowers did get watered, and weren't completely dead when we got home.
While we were camping we experienced the first bout of hot temperatures. In Salt Lake they were experiencing 100+ degree weather. Where we were, at our camp spot it was about 92 degrees, and everywhere else it was 98-99 degrees. Shane took one of our window unit air conditioners with and attached it to our trailer since we had electricity at our campspot. I was so glad he did! Also because of the hot weather, we went on lots of outings in our air conditioned SUV.
We had fun, but it was very HOT. I really don't do HOT very well.
Then on the drive back from camping, we drove through an area with a tornado warning (unbeknownst to us at the time) and had quite the drive through horizontal rain and heavy winds. I told Shane after that I had started praying the whole way through the storm because the wind was blowing hard enough I was worried it would flip the trailer and our suv with it. He told me that I wasn't the only one praying. :) We made it through safely, which we were both grateful about. All the kids were fast asleep at the time, which was also a blessing.
We ended up coming home a day earlier than we had initially planned on originally, because Harrison was leaving for scout camp that Saturday morning. We were glad that was the case though, because it made it so we could go celebrate some things with our friends that we would've missed out on if we hadn't come home early.
Last year when we went camping we had just laid some free sod we got from our friends. We bought a water timer and set up sprinklers to make sure the grass would get watered. I envisioned lush green grass upon our return...only to my heartbroken dismay, the grass not only wasn't green, it was brown. Everyone told me not to worry, and that it would come back, but I knew in my heart that it hadn't just gone dormant, it had died. (People with black thumbs like myself have an intuition about these kinds of things!) And, I was right.
The water timer had malfunctioned, and the grass all died.
This year when we went camping, again we set up the water timer, only this time it was for my flower bed, because I told Shane if we came back and all my flowers were dead, I would be even more sad than I was about the grass. As a backup Shane asked our neighbor to monitor our flowers and make sure they got watered.
The water timer malfunctioned AGAIN.
So, what is the lesson here? Don't buy a water timer that is for use with hoses and sprinklers! :) Thankfully, this time, because of our neighbor, our flowers did get watered, and weren't completely dead when we got home.
While we were camping we experienced the first bout of hot temperatures. In Salt Lake they were experiencing 100+ degree weather. Where we were, at our camp spot it was about 92 degrees, and everywhere else it was 98-99 degrees. Shane took one of our window unit air conditioners with and attached it to our trailer since we had electricity at our campspot. I was so glad he did! Also because of the hot weather, we went on lots of outings in our air conditioned SUV.
We had fun, but it was very HOT. I really don't do HOT very well.
Then on the drive back from camping, we drove through an area with a tornado warning (unbeknownst to us at the time) and had quite the drive through horizontal rain and heavy winds. I told Shane after that I had started praying the whole way through the storm because the wind was blowing hard enough I was worried it would flip the trailer and our suv with it. He told me that I wasn't the only one praying. :) We made it through safely, which we were both grateful about. All the kids were fast asleep at the time, which was also a blessing.
We ended up coming home a day earlier than we had initially planned on originally, because Harrison was leaving for scout camp that Saturday morning. We were glad that was the case though, because it made it so we could go celebrate some things with our friends that we would've missed out on if we hadn't come home early.
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Roasty Toasty
It is so hot! I always think it's funny when people tell me, "You should be in Arizona, or Las Vegas, or ..." I don't really care where you live, if the temperature is 100+ it's TOO HOT.
Today where I live it peaked at 100...supposedly.
I don't like hot temperatures, I never have. I tend to get overheated really easily. Even if I drink lots of water.
High temperatures and me...equals me not doing anything!
Take right now for example... I am sitting in front of the window unit, contemplating what we should have for dinner...
Ice cream is sounding better all the time...
Today where I live it peaked at 100...supposedly.
I don't like hot temperatures, I never have. I tend to get overheated really easily. Even if I drink lots of water.
High temperatures and me...equals me not doing anything!
Take right now for example... I am sitting in front of the window unit, contemplating what we should have for dinner...
Ice cream is sounding better all the time...
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
In Which Life Can Be Annoying At Times...
We need to move. I can't say we really WANT to move, because moving just sucks. We've done it nine times throughout our marriage, so, I can speak from experience on that one. Still, our house is small. We are extremely crowded, because basically we have too much stuff. We would still be crowded even if we didn't have much stuff, because 6 people is a lot for the house we have.
Here's the annoying thing though... we can't move. We went house hunting, got all excited, and then looked at what it would take to get our house sold... and the answer is: pretty much a miracle. This is discouraging, especially because we found a property that was AWESOME and exactly what we wanted.
So, while there is still a slim chance that we may actually sell our house and be able to get the other house...it isn't likely.
Here's the other annoying thing... the reason why? Because of all the bank owned homes on the market. Because a lot of these homes are a lot like ours, except since they are bank owned they are being sold for about $50,000 less than what our house would need to be sold for.
So, we have to start looking at plan B. How to get more storage space/room in the house we currently live in. I am glad we like our neighbors and the area we live. It's a nice friendly place to be, and that makes me happy. All the work/money/time it will take to get more storage space and room in our house...not so happy, but at least doable, and that's something to be grateful for.
Here's the annoying thing though... we can't move. We went house hunting, got all excited, and then looked at what it would take to get our house sold... and the answer is: pretty much a miracle. This is discouraging, especially because we found a property that was AWESOME and exactly what we wanted.
So, while there is still a slim chance that we may actually sell our house and be able to get the other house...it isn't likely.
Here's the other annoying thing... the reason why? Because of all the bank owned homes on the market. Because a lot of these homes are a lot like ours, except since they are bank owned they are being sold for about $50,000 less than what our house would need to be sold for.
So, we have to start looking at plan B. How to get more storage space/room in the house we currently live in. I am glad we like our neighbors and the area we live. It's a nice friendly place to be, and that makes me happy. All the work/money/time it will take to get more storage space and room in our house...not so happy, but at least doable, and that's something to be grateful for.
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Talents
I like reading about other people's talents. I'm glad when they blog about them, because I literally just sit in awe and bask in their awesomeness. I'm being serious too!
Like, my one friend who plans amazing parties for her kids, and themed meals, and all these cute amazing crafts. She says she gets her ideas from pinterest and other online sites, but I know there's a lot of talent thrown in there too. They're not just preplanned expensive parties either. For example, this year her daughter's birthday was Sprinkles, so everything had sprinkles on it. It looked so cute! One year her other daughter's birthday was Rainbow's and she made a layer cake with all the different colors of the rainbow. I know if I tried to do these things, it would just stress me out, but she thrives on it, and it is such a talent for her! I'm glad she takes pictures and shares her talent with everyone. :)
Another friend I have, is amazing at planning and creating her own shows. She is the music coordinator for her elementary school, and she doesn't just do a music program, she does a music production! Even when the shows come with a script, she's picking all the songs, choreography, costumes, everything! She would be an amazing theatre director too. I can tell. :)
Then I have my friend who is extremely well organized and everything is beautiful and clean in her house and in her yard. She writes about doing yard work, all the cool things she gets to make her house even more organized, and I just think she's great.
Then there is the talent that I really wish I was good at... SEWING. I am not a seamstress. I love to quilt, but making that quilt, is a major accomplishment for me. Piecing something together from a pattern just makes my brain twist. Then I read this one lady's blog and she wrote about sewing without patterns. Hah! I would never be able to do that! Okay, I could TRY, but I can guarantee that my creations wouldn't look right! :) To me, that is a major talent. Shane's sister is able to do that too. They can just think about what they want to sew, and are able to cut the fabric to get it to look the way they want. I think that is so cool!
So thanks for sharing your talents with me!
Like, my one friend who plans amazing parties for her kids, and themed meals, and all these cute amazing crafts. She says she gets her ideas from pinterest and other online sites, but I know there's a lot of talent thrown in there too. They're not just preplanned expensive parties either. For example, this year her daughter's birthday was Sprinkles, so everything had sprinkles on it. It looked so cute! One year her other daughter's birthday was Rainbow's and she made a layer cake with all the different colors of the rainbow. I know if I tried to do these things, it would just stress me out, but she thrives on it, and it is such a talent for her! I'm glad she takes pictures and shares her talent with everyone. :)
Another friend I have, is amazing at planning and creating her own shows. She is the music coordinator for her elementary school, and she doesn't just do a music program, she does a music production! Even when the shows come with a script, she's picking all the songs, choreography, costumes, everything! She would be an amazing theatre director too. I can tell. :)
Then I have my friend who is extremely well organized and everything is beautiful and clean in her house and in her yard. She writes about doing yard work, all the cool things she gets to make her house even more organized, and I just think she's great.
Then there is the talent that I really wish I was good at... SEWING. I am not a seamstress. I love to quilt, but making that quilt, is a major accomplishment for me. Piecing something together from a pattern just makes my brain twist. Then I read this one lady's blog and she wrote about sewing without patterns. Hah! I would never be able to do that! Okay, I could TRY, but I can guarantee that my creations wouldn't look right! :) To me, that is a major talent. Shane's sister is able to do that too. They can just think about what they want to sew, and are able to cut the fabric to get it to look the way they want. I think that is so cool!
So thanks for sharing your talents with me!
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Maybe
So, I admit I am getting a little excited. Shane's younger brothers frequently go see shows and the theatre they go to has Bill Cosby on the roster. That's right. BILL COSBY. And we might get tickets.
Maybe. Most likely yes.
The last time I went to an actual concert/performance that didn't involve classical music or amazing actors was...13 years ago. WOW. That time it was Neil Diamond.
Of course my favorite response to hear was from Shane's brother...He's still alive? Yeah.
Shane and I both come from large families, and my family watched the Cosby Show while I was growing up, and Shane's family watched the Cosby Show AND listened to all his albums. They are pretty hilarious.
They become even more hilarious the older we get and actually know what he is referring to when he does his routines on raising children, women, etc...
So, yes, I hope we get tickets and it is something we are looking forward to!
Now who will watch the kids.....
Maybe. Most likely yes.
The last time I went to an actual concert/performance that didn't involve classical music or amazing actors was...13 years ago. WOW. That time it was Neil Diamond.
Of course my favorite response to hear was from Shane's brother...He's still alive? Yeah.
Shane and I both come from large families, and my family watched the Cosby Show while I was growing up, and Shane's family watched the Cosby Show AND listened to all his albums. They are pretty hilarious.
They become even more hilarious the older we get and actually know what he is referring to when he does his routines on raising children, women, etc...
So, yes, I hope we get tickets and it is something we are looking forward to!
Now who will watch the kids.....
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Snow!
It finally snowed. I think this is maybe the third or fourth time this winter. I have to admit that this is the most bizarre winter I have ever experienced in my life.
Usually the mountains are blanketed in white and down in the valley where we live there is at least a foot of snow, maybe more.
This year...I think the snow plows have been out once. Maybe. They may have been out more to sprinkle salt, sand, and salt water because of ice, but...usually by now the papers are saying that the dept of transportation is over budget because of all the snow removal.
Even then, this storm didn't bring a ton of snow. It blanketed the ground with maybe an inch, and the roads never even got slushy. I can't say that I mind that, but it just makes me wonder what the weather will be like the rest of the year.
Will it rain like crazy until mid-summer like it did last year? Will we have a hot and dry summer with no rain at all? Who knows? It will be interesting to see how it all plays out, because I have lived here my entire life, and the weather just keeps getting more unusual and bizarre the older I get. :)
Usually the mountains are blanketed in white and down in the valley where we live there is at least a foot of snow, maybe more.
This year...I think the snow plows have been out once. Maybe. They may have been out more to sprinkle salt, sand, and salt water because of ice, but...usually by now the papers are saying that the dept of transportation is over budget because of all the snow removal.
Even then, this storm didn't bring a ton of snow. It blanketed the ground with maybe an inch, and the roads never even got slushy. I can't say that I mind that, but it just makes me wonder what the weather will be like the rest of the year.
Will it rain like crazy until mid-summer like it did last year? Will we have a hot and dry summer with no rain at all? Who knows? It will be interesting to see how it all plays out, because I have lived here my entire life, and the weather just keeps getting more unusual and bizarre the older I get. :)
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Benefit of the Doubt
Okay, okay, I think I was a bit harsh the other day... not that those thoughts weren't going through my mind, but in my defense...
I have experienced seeing classmates where I do go out on a limb and say "hi" and they look at me like I am scum...or maybe mildew...
Of course I have also had people pleasantly surprise me too. It always amazed me how many people I would know when I worked at the hospital. What was even more of a surprise was when they would recognize me...and this was after I was gowned and gloved with a mask and surgical hat on, so they couldn't even cheat by looking at my name tag.
I admit that these people are nice, and I think it would be enjoyable to see them again after so long.
hmm....
Plus one of my friends is in charge...and she is the type of person that if she is in charge, it is almost guaranteed to be fun. I have seen all her parties and gatherings on her blog and they always look like a blast.
I have experienced seeing classmates where I do go out on a limb and say "hi" and they look at me like I am scum...or maybe mildew...
Of course I have also had people pleasantly surprise me too. It always amazed me how many people I would know when I worked at the hospital. What was even more of a surprise was when they would recognize me...and this was after I was gowned and gloved with a mask and surgical hat on, so they couldn't even cheat by looking at my name tag.
I admit that these people are nice, and I think it would be enjoyable to see them again after so long.
hmm....
Plus one of my friends is in charge...and she is the type of person that if she is in charge, it is almost guaranteed to be fun. I have seen all her parties and gatherings on her blog and they always look like a blast.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Paranoid, or right...
So, my 15 year high school reunion is coming up this summer. First off, I can't hardly believe I am that old. Although, the fact that I have a son who is going to be 12 kind of tips that off for me. Then there is the whole, should I go or not.
There are a few reasons I would like to go. I mean, I know that a few of my friends will be there that I haven't seen for years, but... I don't know. I am a little gun shy after my 5 year reunion experience, and then my husband's 10 year reunion experience...
That, and I don't think I do very well in large groups. I hate feeling like a number, like, no one there could really care more or less whether I showed up or not. I really hate that feeling. I cannot even begin to describe how much I hate that feeling. The feeling of being alone in a crowded room...
I feel the same way when I am at the store and recognize someone and know distinctly that, a. they know who I am but have no desire to talk to me, or b. have no idea who I am even though I look basically the same. Of course, there is always option c. which is where I usually fall...I would like to say "hi" but the fear of them not knowing or caring prevents me from doing anything.
There is also the factor that I pretty much have the memory of an elephant as it were (at least from that time in my life), and I tend to remember almost everyone that I went to school with...even if I never had class with them.
I mean, I know of a classmate who had to basically get their leg amputated because of bone cancer, and I GUARANTEE they have no idea who I am, even though I felt really bad for them when I found out.
I also felt sad when I saw the obituaries of some of my classmates/friends when they occurred. *sigh* Then of course there is the cost. Is it worth it to pay $30 per person to feel awkward for 5 hours?
Well, I've got a few months to think about it I suppose...
There are a few reasons I would like to go. I mean, I know that a few of my friends will be there that I haven't seen for years, but... I don't know. I am a little gun shy after my 5 year reunion experience, and then my husband's 10 year reunion experience...
That, and I don't think I do very well in large groups. I hate feeling like a number, like, no one there could really care more or less whether I showed up or not. I really hate that feeling. I cannot even begin to describe how much I hate that feeling. The feeling of being alone in a crowded room...
I feel the same way when I am at the store and recognize someone and know distinctly that, a. they know who I am but have no desire to talk to me, or b. have no idea who I am even though I look basically the same. Of course, there is always option c. which is where I usually fall...I would like to say "hi" but the fear of them not knowing or caring prevents me from doing anything.
There is also the factor that I pretty much have the memory of an elephant as it were (at least from that time in my life), and I tend to remember almost everyone that I went to school with...even if I never had class with them.
I mean, I know of a classmate who had to basically get their leg amputated because of bone cancer, and I GUARANTEE they have no idea who I am, even though I felt really bad for them when I found out.
I also felt sad when I saw the obituaries of some of my classmates/friends when they occurred. *sigh* Then of course there is the cost. Is it worth it to pay $30 per person to feel awkward for 5 hours?
Well, I've got a few months to think about it I suppose...
Monday, December 12, 2011
Music
Music and I have a love/hate relationship I've decided. I love music, I love performing, and I am ALWAYS glad I participate when I do.
So...WHY do I have to convince myself to do it?
When I started college I majored in Music Education because music speaks to my soul and edifies me. It lifts me up in ways I can't describe. When I listen to a classical piece of music, and even some more current things, there are harmonies that just sing inside me and fill me with awe.
Something in me died when I majored in music though. I don't know when or how or even why really, but it died. Too much of a good thing maybe? All I know, is that I was so burned out by the time I stopped, and so emotionally depleted, that I almost sold my cello. Almost. For no reason. Thankfully my husband wouldn't let me. :)
So, occasionally I play with the local community symphony. I enjoy this, but even then, I fight the negative inside me. I don't know why it comes, because once I force myself to rehearsal I enjoy myself and I am glad I went.
This year, I agreed to play in the local performance of the Messiah. I love playing this piece of music. It is beautiful. It has amazing harmonies, and then you add choir and soloists, and...it is one of the most enriching pieces of music I have ever heard. And yet, once again, I fought within myself. Should I go? Should I not? Should I go? Even the day of the performance.
Added on top of this was the realization that NO ONE related to me would be at the performance. I used to make sure everyone I was related to knew about it because I wanted them to be there, but they never came, so I stopped even telling them when the concerts were. Shane usually brings the kids, but we decided they could go to the second performance in a different city. So that left me. It took some real soul searching for me to feel good about anything.
I asked myself... "Why do you do this....really? Do you do it just because you want people to hear you? Do you do it because you want support?" And I realized, that no...I do it for me. I do it because it fills me and reminds me of the good things in life. I do it because it is something I need. If people I know are there, that's just icing on the cake.
Once I had thought this through, and realized truly what being a musician means to me, I had an amazing evening. The performance was wonderful. Hearing the audience sing the choruses was heavenly. The soloists did well, and the orchestra sounded great.
And you know what? I can't wait til the 18th, when I get to perform it again. :)
So...WHY do I have to convince myself to do it?
When I started college I majored in Music Education because music speaks to my soul and edifies me. It lifts me up in ways I can't describe. When I listen to a classical piece of music, and even some more current things, there are harmonies that just sing inside me and fill me with awe.
Something in me died when I majored in music though. I don't know when or how or even why really, but it died. Too much of a good thing maybe? All I know, is that I was so burned out by the time I stopped, and so emotionally depleted, that I almost sold my cello. Almost. For no reason. Thankfully my husband wouldn't let me. :)
So, occasionally I play with the local community symphony. I enjoy this, but even then, I fight the negative inside me. I don't know why it comes, because once I force myself to rehearsal I enjoy myself and I am glad I went.
This year, I agreed to play in the local performance of the Messiah. I love playing this piece of music. It is beautiful. It has amazing harmonies, and then you add choir and soloists, and...it is one of the most enriching pieces of music I have ever heard. And yet, once again, I fought within myself. Should I go? Should I not? Should I go? Even the day of the performance.
Added on top of this was the realization that NO ONE related to me would be at the performance. I used to make sure everyone I was related to knew about it because I wanted them to be there, but they never came, so I stopped even telling them when the concerts were. Shane usually brings the kids, but we decided they could go to the second performance in a different city. So that left me. It took some real soul searching for me to feel good about anything.
I asked myself... "Why do you do this....really? Do you do it just because you want people to hear you? Do you do it because you want support?" And I realized, that no...I do it for me. I do it because it fills me and reminds me of the good things in life. I do it because it is something I need. If people I know are there, that's just icing on the cake.
Once I had thought this through, and realized truly what being a musician means to me, I had an amazing evening. The performance was wonderful. Hearing the audience sing the choruses was heavenly. The soloists did well, and the orchestra sounded great.
And you know what? I can't wait til the 18th, when I get to perform it again. :)
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Thanksgiving and stuff...
We had a pretty enjoyable Thanksgiving. We spent it with my side of the family this year. Shane's side of the family had a HUMONGOUS family reunion at his aunt and uncles' and I would be lying if I said it wasn't tempting to go, but it was my family's turn, and I didn't think it would be wise to take our 3 month old baby on a super long road trip...and not wise for mommy either.
I know, I'm a wimp, but I've learned that if I go on long (I mean LONG)trips and get NO sleep, I am not an enjoyable person to be around. Add a cranky baby that's thrown out of their routine, and no sleep for them either, and cranky kids, and it equals a very ornery mommy. At least I admit my shortcomings. :)
Anyway, we had a good time. I will be honest though. OF COURSE there was at least one spot during the day where someone got offended and upset and there was some sort of disagreement and it involved bored kids misbehaving. I don't think family gatherings exist where things like this don't happen. If your family is perfect, then you are super lucky!
Still, all in all it was enjoyable to be with family and talk and eat good food. As an added bonus I didn't have to worry about driving 14+ hours to get home!
I went shopping the day after Thanksgiving with my mom and that was pretty fun. I had to convince her to go since her last experience was about 25 years ago and involved crazy people grabbing things out of her hands. I told her that it was because she went to the DOORBUSTER sales, and only crazy people go to those. If you wait and go when normal sane people shop, you don't have to deal with those people because they are all back in bed. So we got there about 9 AM and were able to get some really good deals on things that we wanted.
Jeffrey is growing like crazy! He is already starting to fit into 6-9 month clothes. I know for many people this would be no big deal, but Harrison and Hazel never grew this quickly so it is a new experience for me! We were used to our babies being smaller and growing more slowly but consistently. Jeffrey grows quickly and consistently. I have to keep reminding Shane that this is NORMAL. :) I will have to post some more pictures.
And in other news...the weather today has been NUTS! It has been so windy, and it makes me glad I don't live about 45 minutes to the south because they have had power outages, freeway closed, trees blown down, garage doors blown in, siding blown off...It's at times like this I appreciate my small old house. I figure if it's made it through over 100 years of wind storms, one more isn't going to do much to it.
I know, I'm a wimp, but I've learned that if I go on long (I mean LONG)trips and get NO sleep, I am not an enjoyable person to be around. Add a cranky baby that's thrown out of their routine, and no sleep for them either, and cranky kids, and it equals a very ornery mommy. At least I admit my shortcomings. :)
Anyway, we had a good time. I will be honest though. OF COURSE there was at least one spot during the day where someone got offended and upset and there was some sort of disagreement and it involved bored kids misbehaving. I don't think family gatherings exist where things like this don't happen. If your family is perfect, then you are super lucky!
Still, all in all it was enjoyable to be with family and talk and eat good food. As an added bonus I didn't have to worry about driving 14+ hours to get home!
I went shopping the day after Thanksgiving with my mom and that was pretty fun. I had to convince her to go since her last experience was about 25 years ago and involved crazy people grabbing things out of her hands. I told her that it was because she went to the DOORBUSTER sales, and only crazy people go to those. If you wait and go when normal sane people shop, you don't have to deal with those people because they are all back in bed. So we got there about 9 AM and were able to get some really good deals on things that we wanted.
Jeffrey is growing like crazy! He is already starting to fit into 6-9 month clothes. I know for many people this would be no big deal, but Harrison and Hazel never grew this quickly so it is a new experience for me! We were used to our babies being smaller and growing more slowly but consistently. Jeffrey grows quickly and consistently. I have to keep reminding Shane that this is NORMAL. :) I will have to post some more pictures.
And in other news...the weather today has been NUTS! It has been so windy, and it makes me glad I don't live about 45 minutes to the south because they have had power outages, freeway closed, trees blown down, garage doors blown in, siding blown off...It's at times like this I appreciate my small old house. I figure if it's made it through over 100 years of wind storms, one more isn't going to do much to it.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Really?
So, you know how when a drug company is trying to push a new medicine or product they make a commercial and at the end it tells you that basically you could DIE if you take the medicine or product (well, okay, not really, but sometimes there are so many side effects that I just roll my eyes).
Anyway, today we were at the doctor's office so Shane could have a check-up and get his cholesterol checked.
While we were in the waiting room, the health tv was on and there was an ad for a new brand of insulin for diabetics. It actually looked like a pretty cool product and if I was diabetic and on insulin, something that would be worth looking into.
The funny part was at the end when they listed side effects and there was only one.
Any guesses?
Any?
"May cause low blood sugar levels."
Shane about fell off his chair laughing when he heard that. I probably rolled my eyes.
Really? Insulin may cause your blood sugar to lower?
I still think it's funny! :)
Anyway, today we were at the doctor's office so Shane could have a check-up and get his cholesterol checked.
While we were in the waiting room, the health tv was on and there was an ad for a new brand of insulin for diabetics. It actually looked like a pretty cool product and if I was diabetic and on insulin, something that would be worth looking into.
The funny part was at the end when they listed side effects and there was only one.
Any guesses?
Any?
"May cause low blood sugar levels."
Shane about fell off his chair laughing when he heard that. I probably rolled my eyes.
Really? Insulin may cause your blood sugar to lower?
I still think it's funny! :)
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Signs
Signs you are too grumpy:
--Whenever your kids pray they ask that, "Mommy will get enough sleep so she won't be grumpy."
--When you aren't grumpy your kids tell you that you must have gotten enough sleep last night.
--Your kids ask you if you need to take a nap.
--When you ask your husband if you are being ornery he just looks at you...chirp chirp...chirp chirp... and then tells you that he loves you and gives you a hug...(but doesn't answer the question...)
--You begin to make goals on having a positive attitude. (At least you aren't in denial about being too grumpy!)
--That's all.
--Whenever your kids pray they ask that, "Mommy will get enough sleep so she won't be grumpy."
--When you aren't grumpy your kids tell you that you must have gotten enough sleep last night.
--Your kids ask you if you need to take a nap.
--When you ask your husband if you are being ornery he just looks at you...chirp chirp...chirp chirp... and then tells you that he loves you and gives you a hug...(but doesn't answer the question...)
--You begin to make goals on having a positive attitude. (At least you aren't in denial about being too grumpy!)
--That's all.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Another day
So, I guess this is for the three or four of you who like to read my blog...or are bored enough to read my blog, or something like that.
Anyway, today is my follow-up appointment with the surgeon who did my hernia surgery. I have another one next week. This one is to make sure that the incision really is starting to look okay.
From my own point of view...the jury is still out. Part of it looks a lot better and the redness isn't as excessive as it was on Saturday, BUT part of it looks redder and worse. So, we'll see what the doctor thinks. I am hoping he'll look at it and tell me that that is perfectly normal and how it is supposed to look. :) I can hope right?
Feeling wise...well, I have been trying to manage the pain with over the counter meds, and that has worked pretty well, so that is a really good sign that things are improving. I still don't feel the greatest, but all things considering, that isn't the biggest surprise to me.
What I am hoping and praying DOES NOT happen is that the doctor looks at the incision and with a really sad look on his face informs me that I will have to have another surgery. I am telling my body that this is NOT an acceptable option so it better start healing correctly PRONTO! :)
I figure if I can still have a goofy outlook on things, then that must say something too...and no, it's not that I have heavy painkillers in my system.
I was going to be awesome mom this morning and take pictures of my kids in their costumes, but I didn't. Harrison is a "monster hunter" this year (think Van Helsing-ish I guess...according to Shane...) and Hazel is a ladybug. Jeffrey was a tiger. Shane is going to take them trick-or-treating tonight, but I'm thinking Jeffrey is going to stay home with me and hand out candy...unless an unexpected depressing outcome happens at my doctor appointment this afternoon. In which case I will be really glad that we went trunk-or-treating with Shane's sister and her family a week ago.
I think you can kind of tell that Halloween is not that big of a deal at our house. The candy is the best part, everything else I could honestly do without. I don't think my kids feel too deprived. They've never complained about having to be the same thing two years in a row, and sometimes they are the ones who have wanted to be the same thing year after year.
I usually don't put face paint on them, because that it such a pain to get off, and really, does anyone really care if the ladybug doesn't have cute mascara dots on her cheeks? or the tiger that doesn't have any whiskers? I can honestly say that Jeffrey really could care less, and has a more interesting time trying to eat the inside of the hood of his tiger costume. :)
Anyway, today is my follow-up appointment with the surgeon who did my hernia surgery. I have another one next week. This one is to make sure that the incision really is starting to look okay.
From my own point of view...the jury is still out. Part of it looks a lot better and the redness isn't as excessive as it was on Saturday, BUT part of it looks redder and worse. So, we'll see what the doctor thinks. I am hoping he'll look at it and tell me that that is perfectly normal and how it is supposed to look. :) I can hope right?
Feeling wise...well, I have been trying to manage the pain with over the counter meds, and that has worked pretty well, so that is a really good sign that things are improving. I still don't feel the greatest, but all things considering, that isn't the biggest surprise to me.
What I am hoping and praying DOES NOT happen is that the doctor looks at the incision and with a really sad look on his face informs me that I will have to have another surgery. I am telling my body that this is NOT an acceptable option so it better start healing correctly PRONTO! :)
I figure if I can still have a goofy outlook on things, then that must say something too...and no, it's not that I have heavy painkillers in my system.
I was going to be awesome mom this morning and take pictures of my kids in their costumes, but I didn't. Harrison is a "monster hunter" this year (think Van Helsing-ish I guess...according to Shane...) and Hazel is a ladybug. Jeffrey was a tiger. Shane is going to take them trick-or-treating tonight, but I'm thinking Jeffrey is going to stay home with me and hand out candy...unless an unexpected depressing outcome happens at my doctor appointment this afternoon. In which case I will be really glad that we went trunk-or-treating with Shane's sister and her family a week ago.
I think you can kind of tell that Halloween is not that big of a deal at our house. The candy is the best part, everything else I could honestly do without. I don't think my kids feel too deprived. They've never complained about having to be the same thing two years in a row, and sometimes they are the ones who have wanted to be the same thing year after year.
I usually don't put face paint on them, because that it such a pain to get off, and really, does anyone really care if the ladybug doesn't have cute mascara dots on her cheeks? or the tiger that doesn't have any whiskers? I can honestly say that Jeffrey really could care less, and has a more interesting time trying to eat the inside of the hood of his tiger costume. :)
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Post-surgery
So, Thursday I had surgery on my umbilical hernia. I guess it went well. ;) When I was preparing for this surgery I just kept thinking that the recovery would be cake compared to the other surgeries that I had had this year.
...
Silly me. :)
I didn't feel too bad the rest of the day, and then Friday was okay, but by Saturday was feeling pretty yucky. I kept second guessing myself and wondering if something was going wrong, or if I was just being paranoid. Then I would look at the incision, and the color started to change and get a brighter pink. It felt warm to me, but again, I wondered if I was just seeing what I wanted to see and feeling anything. The pain was increased too, and I had to take the maximum dose of my pain meds.
Eventually I decided it wasn't worth waiting and guessing. If there was an infection and I needed to go on antibiotics, then the sooner the better. So, I made Shane take me to the hospital. The doctor marked the red area for future reference, and put me on a really strong antibiotic. This morning I woke up at about 4, and decided to only take one pain pill, and it was just fine. That means progress!! The red area looked a little better too, even though that shouldn't really change for a few days.
Still, it is good news right now, and I hope the antibiotic continues to work.
...
Silly me. :)
I didn't feel too bad the rest of the day, and then Friday was okay, but by Saturday was feeling pretty yucky. I kept second guessing myself and wondering if something was going wrong, or if I was just being paranoid. Then I would look at the incision, and the color started to change and get a brighter pink. It felt warm to me, but again, I wondered if I was just seeing what I wanted to see and feeling anything. The pain was increased too, and I had to take the maximum dose of my pain meds.
Eventually I decided it wasn't worth waiting and guessing. If there was an infection and I needed to go on antibiotics, then the sooner the better. So, I made Shane take me to the hospital. The doctor marked the red area for future reference, and put me on a really strong antibiotic. This morning I woke up at about 4, and decided to only take one pain pill, and it was just fine. That means progress!! The red area looked a little better too, even though that shouldn't really change for a few days.
Still, it is good news right now, and I hope the antibiotic continues to work.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Choices
So, first I will tell you how Jeffrey's nephrologist appointment went. Then onto more craziness in my life. :)
We took Jeffrey to his pediatric nephrologist appointment almost a week ago. He had an appointment at the children's hospital first to have an x-ray done where they shoot dye into the bladder and see if it goes up into the kidney. If it does, then...well, I don't know really since Jeffrey's didn't, and that was a good thing. :)
After that we headed over to the other hospital to meet with the nephrologist. Because of the different labs and tests they had done on Jeffrey, they could tell that his kidney was functioning normally. We were told he could pretty much participate in any sport he wanted to when he gets bigger...except for rugby, hockey, sports with extreme contact I guess would be a good word for it. I asked if he could play football, and she said yes, but preferably the kicker. Hehehe...not that it really matters since Shane and I are such HUGE football fans...um, yeah...not so much.
So this was all wonderful news. We were then told that we should come back in six months, with another ultrasound, and she will check to make sure that Jeffrey is still growing the way he should, and also that his kidney is growing the way it should. If that is all great then we won't need to go back for a year.
Now onto the craziness portion of this post...
I might need to have another surgery.
I am not looking forward to this.
I won't know for sure until Monday.
Odds are pretty high that it is going to happen though. *blech*
Until last year almost to the day, I had never been under general anesthesia. I had only been sedated. Both mean I don't remember anything, but when you go under general anesthesia you are intubated...meaning you have a tube sticking down your throat forcing air into your lungs.
I don't like being under general anesthesia. If I have this surgery, I will once again probably have to be under general. :(
I developed an umbilical hernia at some point in time. Initially I was going to wait until I was 100% sure that we were completely done having children. I don't know that yet, but the hernia has become mildly annoying, small as it is, and I just keep feeling like it would be better to get it fixed now instead of later when it becomes a bigger problem.
So, we'll see what the doctor says at my appointment.
We took Jeffrey to his pediatric nephrologist appointment almost a week ago. He had an appointment at the children's hospital first to have an x-ray done where they shoot dye into the bladder and see if it goes up into the kidney. If it does, then...well, I don't know really since Jeffrey's didn't, and that was a good thing. :)
After that we headed over to the other hospital to meet with the nephrologist. Because of the different labs and tests they had done on Jeffrey, they could tell that his kidney was functioning normally. We were told he could pretty much participate in any sport he wanted to when he gets bigger...except for rugby, hockey, sports with extreme contact I guess would be a good word for it. I asked if he could play football, and she said yes, but preferably the kicker. Hehehe...not that it really matters since Shane and I are such HUGE football fans...um, yeah...not so much.
So this was all wonderful news. We were then told that we should come back in six months, with another ultrasound, and she will check to make sure that Jeffrey is still growing the way he should, and also that his kidney is growing the way it should. If that is all great then we won't need to go back for a year.
Now onto the craziness portion of this post...
I might need to have another surgery.
I am not looking forward to this.
I won't know for sure until Monday.
Odds are pretty high that it is going to happen though. *blech*
Until last year almost to the day, I had never been under general anesthesia. I had only been sedated. Both mean I don't remember anything, but when you go under general anesthesia you are intubated...meaning you have a tube sticking down your throat forcing air into your lungs.
I don't like being under general anesthesia. If I have this surgery, I will once again probably have to be under general. :(
I developed an umbilical hernia at some point in time. Initially I was going to wait until I was 100% sure that we were completely done having children. I don't know that yet, but the hernia has become mildly annoying, small as it is, and I just keep feeling like it would be better to get it fixed now instead of later when it becomes a bigger problem.
So, we'll see what the doctor says at my appointment.
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