Family Goals

The last month has been quite crazy in our house.

I decided (and Shane agreed) that we should have a family home evening lesson on setting goals, and then set some as a family...we decided this back in January...and then Hazel got strep, and Shane got strep...which turned into mono, and then Jeffrey, Harrison, and Emmett got croup, and then I strained my back...really badly... (yeah, it's been delightful).

So the lesson on goals didn't happen until this last Monday.

We talked about the importance of setting goals and then as an example I told them, so if we set a goal as a family to go on a trip to California (in my mind I thought Disneyland) and Harrison and Hazel say, To LEGOLAND! in unison... and I just chuckled on the inside... maybe if I told them Harry Potter world is closer to Disneyland.......

Things I Won't Miss

Everyone likes to tell me, especially during difficult days, that I will miss this phase of life when it is gone. They are right, there ARE things I will miss, but I guarantee there are things I won't miss.

I won't miss potty training. Ever. People that say they will miss this are insane, or a glutton for punishment, or something.

I won't miss cleaning up puke. Again. Do I need to explain this?

I won't miss the pee smell that just seems to never go away.

I won't miss stinky diapers.

I won't miss sweeping the floor...again....and again...and again...and again...

I won't miss the shoes getting thrown down the stairs, or dumped out, or made into a mountain.

I won't miss them escaping our pew at church and running down the aisle...multiple times during a meeting. They are like little escape artists!

I won't miss the cups of water being dumped everywhere, multiple times, every day, no matter what I do.

I won't miss the temper tantrums and meltdowns.


However, there are many things I will miss.

I will miss the little hugs.

I will miss the snuggles.

I was miss the little children wanting to be held, and them sleeping in my arms.

I will miss them needing me and wanting to be around me.

I will miss looking at books with them, and seeing the delight on their faces when they realize that red is more than just a word, it is a color!

I will miss the pure joy they experience as they swing in a swing for the first time and literally squeal with glee.

I will miss the innocent magic that seems to take place around Christmas time.

I will miss them learning how to talk and use words.

I will miss the joy they find in learning new things and discovering their world.

I will miss going to the park with them.

I will miss them being here.

The things I WILL miss definitely make up for the things I WON'T. Thinking of that, it does make it easier to focus on enjoying the journey, and not on all the hard things.

Busy busy

It has been a busy time this past week!

Jeffrey turned three, Harrison and Hazel started school, Emmett got an ear infection, and the county fair is happening! It makes me glad that Harrison and Hazel don't raise animals for the fair, or my definition of busy would have just gotten expanded. :)

Hazel is so excited to be in 5th grade. I think she has been waiting for this for two years, because now she gets to play the violin! The school my kids go to has an orchestra program that starts in the 5th grade. (I personally, cannot believe that she is in 5th grade!! Where did the time go?!)

Harrison is in 8th grade now! Wowza! He is still playing the viola, but this year, if he can practice really hard and learn the solo I picked out for him in the next two weeks, he wants to be in the local chamber youth orchestra. Our area has two youth programs. The youth chamber orchestra, for middle school/junior high aged kids, and the youth symphony, for high school kids. I have a feeling we will be involved with these groups for a while. I am grateful really, because it is so good to have programs like this available!

Jeffrey was so funny on his birthday. Every time we tried to sing to him, he would cover his face. Then, we had gotten a small cake to celebrate with, and Shane was holding it with one hand, and it fell over onto the floor. I was glad that we hadn't lit the candles yet, and that it was a smaller, fairly inexpensive cake. Apparently that cake really had issues with being dropped, because more pieces dropped when we would try to put them on plates. It was quite hilarious.

Poor little Emmett started having a runny eye a few days ago, and we decided it was time to take him to the doctor. I am glad we did! He has an ear infection. If he hadn't had a runny eye along with the changes inside his ear, they probably would have waited to see if it improved or got worse, but since he did, and his eye was running, and you could just tell he felt terrible, the doctor felt that antibiotics were a good idea at this point. So, hopefully he will start to feel better soon!

Now we've still got to go to the fair to see how our entries did.

For a week that is barely have over....it feels like it's been a complete week!

I Won't Give Up

This is the perfect song to describe yesterday. Yesterday, was bad. Emotionally for me, it was awful. Shane, in his loving and kind way, was a trooper. Then in the evening, I am sure at some point, I said something like, "I don't know why you put up with me." Then Shane said something close to "Because I love you." Then I said, "I won't give up on you if you won't give up on me." Then this song came to mind. So, there you go.

Then, of course it came to mind all the friends and family I have that have gotten divorced, in the process, or what. It's weird to think that we are one of the survivors. Before I got married I was told, "Remember when you are having a rough day in your marriage (and you will have them) that divorce is not an option." So that's what I've done.

 I realize that my situation is different than a lot of people's. I don't look at people who get divorced and think they are bad, I look and wonder what happened to have two people in love enough to get married, to get divorced. Was it abusive, addiction related, money, infidelity, or did they just draw apart?

Most of the time I realize that I'm not close enough to the inner circle of their life to know that information...and that's fine. Most of the time when I AM close enough to know the information...I wish I didn't, because it is almost always sad.

 A lot of things that happened yesterday weren't Shane and me disagreeing or anything like that. It was me having an emotionally rough time because of things that were happening that were out of my control, and then there was Shane, being my rock, consoling me, and telling me that everyone has a bad day once in a while, and it would be all right.

 Shane is a good example to me of how to love and care for a spouse. So, I try to treat him the same way. I think he is better at it than me, but I am glad he is on my team, and that we are both working together to be a part of an eternal relationship.

A Reminder That I'm Not Perfect

So, yesterday was a blah day. At the time I thought I was just bummed about all the health things going on in my life right now, but later in the day, I realized that I was probably dealing with female hormones. Sweet!

Still, add in crazy energetic two-year-old and especially needy "I have a cold" one year old... yeah, I pretty much failed yesterday.

I wasn't feeling very nice, or kind, or motherly, and I didn't really behave that way either. Enough so, that I had a major talk with myself about how the way I was behaving was NOT ACCEPTABLE and not how I wanted to be.

I received a teeny little vindication when Shane tried really hard to not lose it when Jeffrey and Emmett acted the same way for him as they had been for me all day long. Still, it didn't excuse my behavior.

Today has been much better, because I focused more on being the way I should be, and not raising my voice, or getting upset for whatever thing Jeffrey decided to get into.

Whenever I am thinking the kids are out of control, I have to think about how I am behaving. Is my behavior helping them behave better? Or am I just making matters worse? In my experience, getting upset never helps, it seems to always make matters worse. Then everyone ends up feeling terrible and awful and what a yucky atmosphere to be in.

I am glad today has been better. It is definitely a motivator to me to be more positive and happy and to not dwell on negative things, or things that I can't change.

The Important Things

This past week I have been contemplating a lot about what I listened to and watched of General Conference. It was like a feast that took me a while to fully digest. I'm sure I will learn even more when my Ensign comes and I can read the talks again.

The main talk that stood out for me, and there were many great ones and so much to learn, was a talk given by Linda S Reeves who is the current 2nd counselor in the General Relief Society Presidency. Ironically, it wasn't the main topic that caught me...which was the importance of protecting our families from pornography...it was the importance of having a Christ centered home.

How can we do this in our homes? Some of you have heard me tell how overwhelmed my husband, Mel, and I felt as the parents of four young children. As we faced the challenges of parenting and keeping up with the demands of life, we were desperate for help. We prayed and pleaded to know what to do. The answer that came was clear: “It is OK if the house is a mess and the children are still in their pajamas and some responsibilities are left undone. The only things that really need to be accomplished in the home are daily scripture study and prayer and weekly family home evening.”

Did you notice that last phrase? The ONLY things that really need to be accomplished in the home are daily scripture study and prayer and weekly family home evening.

Now, I realize that this is to be taken in context, but for me this was huge. HUGE. My whole marriage I have felt like I wasn't doing what I was supposed to because my house was a mess, laundry is never completed, there's crumbs on the floor, and an assortment of toys, blankets, shoes, etc... everywhere. (Never because of Shane, this was my own feeling). I felt like if I was the wife and mother I should be, my house would be spotless like a magazine. For some women, this is doable. For me, I get tired of always cleaning, the neverending chores, and too frequently find myself distracted by a book. Then, feeling guilty, the messiness at times becomes too much, and I would find myself overwhelmed by an unending task.

So, hearing that, I thought, okay, read the scriptures, pray, and family home evening. These are things I can do. These are things that are vital to a Christ centered home. If I focus on these things, the other things will come.

That has become my goals for the year. Read the scriptures nightly as a family. Family prayer in the morning and evening. Weekly family home evening. I know I am repeating myself, but these three simple things, are things that we have always struggled to do. I realize that this is because they are important! If they aren't a priority, SOMETHING will come or happen or take place to prevent you from doing it.

Even in this past week, I have noticed that every night, EVERY NIGHT, we have been reading scriptures, and the phone that has been silent all day, will ring. It's been uncanny! Still, we have pressed on. It has been good. Our older kids love it, and our younger ones like being around everyone, and already I have noticed a change in the environment.

I have felt more motivated to work on the house, but even more, I have not worried about if the house is spotless. I find myself spending more time with my kids and enjoying them. I find myself not getting stressed about the little things. I find my mind and thoughts changing.

A Child's Perspective

I often wonder what my kids will think about their childhoods when they are adults. Will they remember being happy and having fun times? Will it be filled with sadness and anger or frustration?

Lately, I've been wondering if they will have wished we had taken them to Disneyland.

I remember a few years back, feeling really bummed that we didn't have the money to take our kids to Disneyland. I had gone a few times when I was growing up, and a part of me wanted that for my kids too. After talking to my sister-in-law though, I didn't feel so bad. She told me, not every family has to be a family that goes to Disneyland. Make memories without it.

So I have.

A lot of our focus has been having fun, but not breaking the bank to do it. After talking to my kids I like to think we are succeeding on a certain level.

I always try to remember that what my kids think and remember, won't be what I remember. I asked them recently what their all time favorite thing we did as a family was. Harrison told me that he loves that we spend time together as a family, all the time, and that we do lots of things together. Hazel told me, she loved it when we watched Back to the Future together. I think we also bought dinner that night from McDonald's and ate it while we watched the movie. That's it!

Remembering a trip we took with Harrison and Hazel about 4 years ago, it didn't surprise me. We went to Salt Lake City, which isn't that far away from us. We bought city passes and went to all the museums and stayed in a fairly inexpensive hotel with an amazing breakfast buffet. I remembered then, asking my kids what they're favorite part was... swimming in the pool at the hotel and eating at Outback Steakhouse.

I began to realize that, honestly, kids don't really care where we take them, as long as they have fun, and feel loved. They just want to spend time together as a family.

Epic Fail

About a year ago we received a box of frozen chicken. When I write a box, I mean a BOX...about 30 lbs worth. We were really grateful, but what do you do with a box of frozen chicken that is all frozen together?

We decided to cook it all and then refreeze it. For some reason I decided to shred it all, because, shredded chicken can go in lots of things, right? Then, because I must have been feeling lazy at the moment, or because someone had given us advice once and told us it was "so easy" I put all the chicken in the mixer to shred it. Then we weighed and measured and put it all in labeled freezer bags.

In hindsight it wasn't a bad idea, but now, I wish I had done it all by hand, because apparently we are picky shredded chicken people, and shredding it in the mixer made it shred too fine. So, no matter what I make with our frozen shredded chicken...about the only thing we can stand is when we make chicken quesadillas. Even then, it just has a weird texture and is like eating a mouthful of mush.

Shane is definitely not a picky eater, and is always really grateful for whatever I make for dinner, but I can usually pinpoint when I make something that he doesn't really like. Lately, it's pretty much been anything with the frozen shredded chicken! Lol.

My happy boy is back...mostly...

So, while I am going to include more spiritual things, I still think it's good to have other things written about too.

I was reading some entries that I had written throughout the past year, and came across some where I had written about Jeffrey and the struggle that we had after Emmett was born. I still think he seriously felt abandoned. I feel bad about that sometimes, but I also know that at that point in time there was nothing else we could do but let my mother in law and sister in law take care of him, and what a blessing it was that they could.

Anyway, after he came back home, he struggled. I could tell that it wasn't the baby. He was feeling some pretty confusing emotions toward Shane and I that he couldn't and didn't know how to deal with, so he dealt with them the way that little kids do. He cried. He also wouldn't come to me. I just had to get used to the fact that he wasn't going to come to me or let me hold him for who knew how long.

Well, fast forward to a month or so ago. I was holding Emmett in the recliner, and there was Jeffrey. He wanted to sit by me too. I was seriously in shock! Of course I made room for him! As time has progressed, he wants to spend more time with me. A couple of times last week he wanted only me to hold him and snuggle with him, even though Shane was right there in the room.

This was pretty refreshing to me, never mind amazing. I had just stopped even thinking about what it used to be like, and just accepted the way things were. I told Shane that I felt like Jeffrey had finally forgiven me for all he had to go through right before Emmett was born. I know how weird that sounds, but I really feel like it's true.

He is still curious, still gets into everything, still has a hard time listening when we tell him not to do something...like all toddlers... but this, wanting us to hold him, cuddle with him, share our time with him, this is just amazing, and I am so happy about it!

Reasons

So, this post is meant to be kinda funny, so don't take offense or be too serious when you read it. There, you have been warned.

The other day we went out for lunch. We went to help welcome home our nephew who had been gone on a mission for two years, and afterward we all went to lunch "Dutch." Probably for ease of time, they had told us beforehand that we would be eating at a buffet.

Shane groaned about this for two days, and I couldn't blame him, because eating at buffets is about our least favorite thing to do.

Shane's family love buffets.

I can see the positives...it's easy to feed a lot of people in a short amount of time.

However, when people try to tell me it's "cheaper" I just laugh. Cheaper for who? To eat lunch at a buffet (unless you're going to a really cheap one, or maybe a Chinese buffet) where we live it costs about $9.50 per adult for lunch, and then for Hazel it was $7.50. We had saved for this adventure, and spent $40 to eat at a buffet. Since Hazel's food choices equaled about every flavor of jello they had at the salad bar, and a couple of rolls and some fruit... well, I think you can see the point.

Typically when we eat out, if we are going to a nicer restaurant and have all the kids with us, we have the kids share an adult meal. It's more than plenty for them, and we all leave plenty full and satisfied, and we spend less than $40!

I also hate the feeling that I have to eat enough food to justify the cost. At a regular restaurant, I can take the extra food home and eat it for another meal. At a buffet...you can't, for obvious reasons.

It doesn't help that we are always thinking in our mind that for the same amount of money we could have eaten at our new favorite Chinese restaurant down the street that has amazingly delicious food, or we could have eaten at MADDOX, which is always delicious, or basically any restaurant besides a buffet.

I enjoyed being there, but really, we ended up in our own corner away from everyone else, so it didn't feel like we were eating with anyone but our own family anyway. Still, at the end of it all, our nephew did come over and talk with us for a few minutes, so, that made it all worth it. :)

Sleep is a wonderful thing

So, Emmett is doing much better at night now. He has slept through the night twice. Not in a row, but I think he is getting the hang of it! He likes sleeping in his crib. He definitely gets a better quality sleep than he used to.

He has always been a pretty happy and mellow baby, but now, he is even happier! He takes a bottle really well. Sometimes he likes to be fed, and sometimes he just likes to fall asleep in his bed.

A couple of nights he was also cutting one of his front teeth. So, I think that definitely affected his sleeping. The night before last he woke up twice. Still, all in all, he is doing so good!

It took me a few days to get used to not waking up so frequently, but things are getting back to normal for me too, which is nice.

Jeffrey...well, Jeffrey occasionally sleeps in his toddler bed. He things sleeping in his older brother's bed is even better. So, we'll see how that all pans out.

Changes II

Well, it has been a few days since Friday...and...wow. After Emmett realized that he wasn't going to be sleeping anymore with me, he started waking up every hour. EVERY HOUR. I looked. It helped me realize a few things... one, he was used to sleeping with me, and two, it was a habit. Not a horrible thing, but seriously.

Jeffrey, successfully slept in his new bed one night. ONE. The next two nights he decided it was more fun to play and turn on all the lights and make messes while everyone else was sleeping. Since I was awake anyway...last night I put him back in his crib since Emmett wasn't using it. I had lost my resolve on that one. That and I was the only adult at home so it was hard to be strong emotionally. Plus it was almost one in the morning.

So, Jeffrey finally fell asleep in the crib, and Emmett still woke up EVERY HOUR even though he was sleeping with me.

A few weeks ago my mom had told me she would help care for Emmett when I was ready to start weaning him. Well...after this weekend, I was ready! So, she is watching him today and tonight and bringing him back tomorrow. I don't know how much change that will cause, but it's a start I suppose.

Now to figure out how to keep Jeffrey in his bed without keeping Harrison up all night. ;)

Changes

Tonight is going to be an interesting night. It will be good though...and hopefully not long and restless...we shall see!

Now that I have you thoroughly confused, I will explain.

So, way back before Emmett was born we bought a 2nd crib. We had every intention of having it put together and ready for use before he was born. We ran into a snag though...WHERE would we put it? We couldn't figure it out, and then Emmett was born, Jeffrey was still sleeping in the office/nursery, Emmett was sleeping by me because I was nursing him, and it just got put on the backburner.

Well, as the year has progressed, it has become more and more apparent that we needed to figure something out.

Then as I took Emmett to more of his well-checks, it became apparent that things needed to change.

This last time, I had to take him in for a weight check because he wasn't gaining anything. Yes, he had been sick, but he had gained NOTHING over a three month period. Not good for a baby that was now nine months old!

We were encouraged to feed him more solid foods, supplement with formula that would help give him complete nutrition, and cut back on the times he was breastfed. He was also supposed to begin to sleep through the night.

Well, that was complicated when his bed was the pack n play in our room and he knew I was about three feet away from him and could hold him and he could eat. At nine months he was still waking up 2-3 times in the night, if not more.

So, when we went in for his weight check today,  talked about it with the pediatrician, and he told me when I was ready, that I really needed to try and get Emmett sleeping through the night. Also, that he should really only be nursing three times a day now TOTAL.

On the plus side though, he had gained enough weight that the pediatrician was happy with his progress and told me to keep doing what we were doing.

So, I came home and told Shane it was time to put the other crib together as a toddler bed for Jeffrey (which had been part of the plan from the get go) put it in Harrison's room, and start putting Emmett to bed in the crib outside our room.

Things have been going pretty well. Jeffrey has only woken up once. He was so happy about his toddler bed, that initially, he put himself to bed at first tonight.      After he woke up we gave him the option to sleep where he wanted, and again he picked the toddler bed in Harrison's room. Emmett slept for about an hour and woke up. I fed him again until he was asleep, put him back in the crib, and so far he is still sleeping.

Now I need to go to bed! Hopefully, this will be a good transition for Emmett, and he will start to sleep longer. We shall see!

Some Things I've Learned

I think I wrote about this last year, but then things happen, and it just reaffirms what I already thought...in fact, intensifies what I already thought.

Last year I wrote about how we didn't make a big deal about Santa at our house. Our kids still get gifts from Santa, and if they want they can visit with Santa at the company Christmas party, but really, no big deal.

So...

Here are some things that I've noticed this year...

I don't like "Elf on the Shelf." Seriously. A creepy fake elf doll that "watches your kids" and reports back to Santa? To me it's just one more way to lie to your kids, or blackmail your kids into doing what they should be doing anyway, and they're being a stubborn kid and not doing it.

I have NEVER told my kids they better behave or they won't get any presents from Santa. I HAVE once or twice told my kids that their presents would start to get taken away if they didn't stop arguing/bickering. Santa, however, was not involved.

So, as a parent, and I'm definitely not perfect by any mean, here are some things I've learned... a huge one, which seems to be repeated a lot... CONSISTENCY. If you are going to tell your child there will be a consequence for their behavior, you HAVE TO FOLLOW THROUGH. So, as a parent, you have to be very careful to give consequences that you want to follow through on.

For example... if you are at a family party and your kid is acting crazy and you get frustrated and tell them that if they don't behave you are going to leave....you better be ready to follow through on that. If you want to leave anyway, then it's no big deal for you, but if you DON'T want to leave, then you start giving your child chances to change their behavior, which is just a downhill slide.

My kids have their moments, and I definitely have mine, but I'm glad I don't have to rely on the, "if you don't do A, then Santa won't bring you presents, or, if you don't do A then Elf will find out and let Santa know." I guess for some people this is good because the fear of not getting presents usually makes their kid behave. It backfires a lot, from what I've seen, and then where are you? Are you really not going to give your kid their gifts? Are you really not going to let them go to the party?

There have been times when my kids have been misbehaving, where I really will say, "Hey, I'm tired, I'd rather stay home. If you don't want to miss the party, then change A, or you can stay here with me and you'll get to do chores instead while everyone else goes and has fun." They know I mean business and it will happen, so yes, the behavior changes.

Probably the best thing a therapist told us was to outline what was expected and then act on it. This was for timeouts. We had used timeouts previously, but it had never really worked, and then when we were taking Harrison to a therapist, we found out why. Once we changed how we did it, it worked. Boy did it work! We rarely have to put them in timeout at all. (Keep in mind, when we learned this Harrison was 10.)

Occasionally I will have to put Hazel in timeout, but really. The key ingredient.... no chances. If, however, you haven't outlined what is expected, we give them one chance to change. ONE. Not three, not five, ONE. And they know it. She told us the reason timeouts don't work is because kids know how many chances they have so they will push the limit. IT IS SO TRUE. That is why outlining what is expected, works even better, because they get no chances. They know that if they do A then B will happen.

Still, in my mind, the whole Santa, and now Elf on the Shelf thing, just makes the whole situation that much worse. It makes me that much more grateful that I don't make Santa that huge of a deal in my kids' lives. My kids are happy, they love Christmas, and it is still a magical time of gift giving, service, love, celebrating the birth of our Savior, and spending time with family. To me, that is more of what Christmas should be about anyway. :)

Phases

There are all different phases that you go through and deal with as a parent. As my kids have gone through different ones, I have come to realize there is certainly a distinct phase of childhood that I tend to dislike more than the others.

"The Terrible Two's" I always felt was inappropriately named. More like the 18 month to 4 years old time of craziness. My older two kids have already gone through this phase, and we all survived, and they are enjoyable great kids most of the time. No one's perfect. :)

Jeffrey is right in the midst of this phase of life. I keep reminding myself of all the kids as curious and energetic as him and how wonderful they are now. It gives me hope when I want to lash out unrationally and have a meltdown like him.

Of course there are silver linings to each phase... his great smile. Their learning of language. I am sure that Jeffrey will have some great thoughts, just like his older brother did.

It also helps me enjoy and appreciate the phase of life that Emmett is in right now as a baby. He still wants to cuddle and just be loved. Jeffrey still does too, but not as much as he tries to exert his independence.

How To Stand Up A Nine Year Old

!. Call their parents and invite them to a party where they are going to be the only guest.

2. Tell the parents the date but not the time.

3. Cancel the party without letting them know.

4. Turn your phone off so it goes straight to voice mail so they are left guessing all day long.


A few weeks ago one of the parents of Hazel's friends called to tell us that their daughter wanted to have a build-a-bear birthday party. They told her she could only invite one friend and she wanted to invite Hazel.

Now, I have never been a huge fan of expensive birthday parties, and even with just one friend I KNEW that this would be a pricey thing for this family. After the phone call Shane and I discussed paying half of whatever Hazel got, because this family is not well off at all. I mean, we're not well off either, but we can pay half of a build-a-bear.

Here's what I don't know... did they decide it would be too expensive? Possibly. Did the little girl change her mind and want to invite a different friend? Possibly.

Well, Hazel has been having a hard time focusing at school and has been put on a daily tracker, where her teacher rates how she did at different times of the day. It's on a scale of 0-4 and when she got her first track sheet she had all zeros and ones, so we told her if she improved we would let her go to this party.

It was supposed to happen yesterday. Hazel was up at her grandparents when we remembered and her grandma brought her back to our house so she could go to this party.

It never happened.

I wish I could let the mom know that it really isn' t that big of deal. I wish she would have told us that they had a change of plans and that it wasn't going to happen. I can understand all that, and I think we are pretty rational people. Then I can explain to Hazel why it got cancelled. As it is I am left wishing we had forgotten and let her spend more time with her grandparents.

Signs

It's been a long, although mostly enjoyable day. I was going to write a really profound and deep post yesterday, but then I didn't, and now, I can't even remember the topic I was going to write about.

I would chalk this up to me being ornery. I don't know if I'm ornery because I never get good sleep anymore...and it finally caught up to me today, or if it's just being a female and dealing with hormone fluctuations... I don't know, but I know that if I was someone else, I wouldn't want to be around me. So, of course that's a sign to me that I need to CHILL OUT and change my attitude.

 So, I've been trying. It hasn't been very successful so far.

This probably has something to do with my 2 year old, whom I dearly love, but who is definitely NOT a morning person, and I had to wake him up before he woke up on his own this morning, and WOW, yeah, it was pretty bad. Of course, when I really think about it, he is just behaving the way deep down inside I wish I could behave right now, because I feel the same way! Even though I am a morning person.

 I have slowly been trying to get Emmett used to sleeping on his own in a pack and play. We initially bought a crib, but then spent about eight months trying to figure out where we were going to put the crib, and well, it has never even been put together. New in the box. *sigh* If we move in time to use the crib, I don't know if we will. Maybe we will because it does convert to a toddler bed and we do need a toddler bed for Jeffrey, which was kind of the whole point in getting a second crib anyway... Still, a crib won't fit in our room, and that's where Emmett sleeps, so pack and play it is.

 I also have one that we got for my mom (she asked) and I have it set up in our living room for when Emmett takes naps. He isn't completely going for it yet though. Most of the time he instantly wakes up and looks at me like I just did the most horrible thing. There are times where he stays asleep though, and they are becoming more frequent. So, I figure if we keep working at it eventually it will be the place where he sleeps! 

And I'm still ornery... blah.

Summer Days Past

Well, my older kids have been back in school for three days now. This has been a little odd for me because they went back a week before the other schools in our district. Their school decided to align school schedules with their sister charter school, which is in a different district.

The other reason it has been odd... because it's fair week! That's why our school district always starts almost last out of all the districts in our state. We have the last county fair before the state fair starts.

So, it has been interesting to have to worry about taking the kids to school, and also remember the days to take things to the fair, and the schedule of the fair. If my kids raised animals for the fair though...I don't know, they would have a tricky time being involved with that and going to school... They don't, so it's not really a worry. Knowing our school, I'm sure they would work with whomever had that situation. They are pretty good about things like that.

It's been an unusual August in that in has been cooler than all of July. So BIZARRE!

And in kidling news...

Jeffrey is talking up a storm. I don't think I would be able to count all the words he says. I guess we use polite words all the time because he says those too. Water please. Tank you. C'mon please. Everything has a please. I am not complaining! He has a hard time with the yeh sound though. So, if you ask him something and the answer is yes, he will say "sure" instead.

He loves cars and pretty much anything with wheels.

Emmett is five months old...getting closer to six months old every day, which is just crazy! He loves his jump a roo and wiggling and rolling on the floor. He loves to watch people talk to him, and just a few days ago started reaching for my face so he could touch it. It is so cute. We started feeding him baby cereal since he constantly tries to grab the food off our plates. He has handled that really well, and eats it really well too.

And that, in a nutshell is pretty much all that has been going on the past little bit!

For Sale

Buying and selling a house is stressful. I think it's more stressful if you're selling and buying than vice verse. Here's why... in order to buy a house, we need to sell our house. If we sell our house we have to move, whether we have a place or not. If we were just buying a house, it wouldn't matter.

I really don't want to rent again. If our house got sold, we would probably have to rent something. So then I think, okay house, don't sell, because there's nowhere I want to move yet...that we can afford! At the same time, I want my house to sell, because it would be nice to have a bigger house...see the problem here?

It's been a rather stressful month/summer, which is probably why I haven't written on here very much.

So far everyone has survived. :)

School starts on Monday which I'm sure the kids are excited about. Having to worry about the house being immaculately clean, with kids... I can't imagine being like this every day. It's like herding cats. That and I feel bad for my kids, but at the same time, I think, if you just did it instead of complaining it would already be done!

Then I have to remind myself that Hazel is 9 and Harrison is 12. Harrison is really a good helper. Hazel....has her moments, but she is really good at watching Jeffrey...most of the time. I was out picking up sticks and bark that were on our lawn after a windstorm and Shane asked her to go out and help me, and she actually told him, No, I don't want to.

If she'd said it to me, I probably would have told her that I have to do lots of things that I don't want to. That's a part of life! She doesn't like it when I tell her things like that.

So, after reading all this, maybe it's understandable why I haven't written on here, because this is pretty much all we have done and all I have been doing. I guess I could get on here and go... today I cleaned my house, again...

Today it was beastly hot...again...and I think my window units are dying... or they need more cooling stuff and need to be recharged.

Last night I didn't sleep well...again...

Then I read that, and I think, you know, you need to be positive and grateful, because gratitude breeds happiness and contentment (it really does).

So, here's my gratitude for the morning.... I am grateful that I have kids, and that they are good kids.

Sleepy

I feel like about 90% of the time I am just tired. This has especially been the case the past few weeks. Technically I should be taking a nap right now because Emmett is actually sleeping in the swing without me holding him, and Jeffrey is downstairs playing with Hazel... this probably means he is watching Curious George, but hey, I'll take it. :)

I often wonder how celebrities who are in their 40's can handle taking care of small children...and then I remember that the vast majority of them have nannies. I know that some of them don't, but most of them DO. There is no way they could do it otherwise! That or I am just a wimp!!

I am extremely grateful that my two older kids are very willing to help out. While I am extremely grateful for my two younger sons, I am beyond grateful, it is very exhausting and tiring to have two kids that close together in age. I actually had my friend who has twins tell me she thought it was more difficult to have two kids close in age then to have kids who are the same age, because the twins go through the same stages at the same time, and I have to deal with two hard ages at the same time... hmm, never thought of it like that!

Of course, I've also been told, when I made the comment that it was almost like having twins... "said by someone who has never had twins..."

So, here's what I say... being a parent is hard. Period. It is exhausting. Period. Instead of criticizing and judging over who has it hardest, let's just say that everyone has it hard at some point. Some people have talents in dealing with small children. I don't think I have that talent. They make me tired. :) I keep reminding myself that at some point they will be potty trained, and able to talk, and they won't whine and throw temper tantrums when they don't get their way.

The reward for me, really, is when Jeffrey smiles, because he has an amazing smile, or the day we put him in a little kid swing at the park and watched him grin and say "whee" over and over again. There is nothing like seeing a child exhibit pure joy, to help you remember why it is all worth it.

The other reward for me, is seeing my children's pictures on the wall. I know that sounds silly, but for the longest time there were only two, when I knew there should be more. Now there are four, and I just sit and look at them in awe sometimes, grateful for the miracles that I have been given.