I was reading some entries that I had written throughout the past year, and came across some where I had written about Jeffrey and the struggle that we had after Emmett was born. I still think he seriously felt abandoned. I feel bad about that sometimes, but I also know that at that point in time there was nothing else we could do but let my mother in law and sister in law take care of him, and what a blessing it was that they could.
Anyway, after he came back home, he struggled. I could tell that it wasn't the baby. He was feeling some pretty confusing emotions toward Shane and I that he couldn't and didn't know how to deal with, so he dealt with them the way that little kids do. He cried. He also wouldn't come to me. I just had to get used to the fact that he wasn't going to come to me or let me hold him for who knew how long.
Well, fast forward to a month or so ago. I was holding Emmett in the recliner, and there was Jeffrey. He wanted to sit by me too. I was seriously in shock! Of course I made room for him! As time has progressed, he wants to spend more time with me. A couple of times last week he wanted only me to hold him and snuggle with him, even though Shane was right there in the room.
This was pretty refreshing to me, never mind amazing. I had just stopped even thinking about what it used to be like, and just accepted the way things were. I told Shane that I felt like Jeffrey had finally forgiven me for all he had to go through right before Emmett was born. I know how weird that sounds, but I really feel like it's true.
He is still curious, still gets into everything, still has a hard time listening when we tell him not to do something...like all toddlers... but this, wanting us to hold him, cuddle with him, share our time with him, this is just amazing, and I am so happy about it!
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