Time Goes By

There has been a lot on my mind lately. So many things, that I honestly don't think that I could just pinpoint it down to one thing. Still, every time I would come to my blog and think I should write something, it just wouldn't happen. Either I was too emotional and the words wouldn't come right, or I would have some kind of just, blank, where there was literally nothing that I wanted to write about.

I have this desire to write something profound, and yet, it's just not there right now.

Then, today I noticed that it has been almost a month since I had posted on here, so regardless of my mindset and feelings, I figured it was time to just write something.

The school year is winding quickly down to an end. Harrison will be leaving the charter school this year, and that just blows me away. If things were now the way they were when I was 14, he would be starting high school. As it is, he will be in high school at his online school, and middle school for his orchestra and seminary classes.

That's the other good thing. Everything is all worked out so he can be in orchestra! YES!

I hope it will be  a good experience all around, and I have a feeling it will.

Hazel will be at the charter school still. I briefly talked to her about whether she wanted to go to the intermediate school next year, but she told me no. I like the charter school, so that doesn't bother me at all.

Jeffrey will still be going to the Early Learning Center next year. That's another thing that I just don't think about. In some ways, I can't think about it, because at this point there isn't a whole lot I can do, and the options just aren't there.

Jeffrey qualifies for the ELC which means he has some learning concerns. I guess what I mean by that, is he has some autistic leanings and his behavior is a big part of why he qualifies. I know that they have been working really hard with him on being more willing to listen to the teacher and be with the group. He is much more content playing on his own and doing his own thing and he doesn't like to cooperate. I know people don't really understand that unless they are around him.

When I first tell people that, they just look at me and sometimes say, "Well, he's three, all three year old's act like that." They're right, it is a common behavior with a three year old, however, there's a range of "normalcy" and he definitely falls to the more defiant/autistic side, many times to the point where he will not cooperate no matter what and then will have a mega meltdown. A lot of this behavior has improved, but it is still there. It definitely acts up when his routine is changed. So, we try to prepare him when we are going on trips, or church, or anything. Sometimes it helps. A lot of times it doesn't.

Anyway, Jeffrey's birthday falls within the school year deadline by a week or so. As soon as he was born I always planned on not sending him to kindergarten until he turned six. I just felt like it would be a better thing. I didn't want him being the youngest in his grade. Well, since he is going to the ELC and it is run by the school district, if I want him to continue getting speech therapy and other services, I would have to send him to kindergarten when he turns five. He can't go to the ELC for three years. So, it is a trick to try and figure out what the best thing for him will be, and whether it would be better to have him in a regular preschool for a year when he is five and then put him back into school when he turns six. I also don't know if it would be better to put him in regular public school or the charter school. I know they have speech therapy and special ed at the charter school, but I don't know how good it is. I guess we will just have to see! It is also about that time that we will have to decide if we want him tested for autism or not. Something to look forward to figuring out!

So, at this point I am just trying to take it a day at a time. Don't sweat the small stuff. Look at the bigger picture. Be positive and don't focus on all the dark unknowns.

Most of the time I can do this. :)

My CMT has been really acting up the past month. Where my fingers were just super mildy numb... it has gotten worse. (No guys, it's not carpal tunnel syndrome. In fact, if I had that surgery done, it would make my condition a million times worse.) I have a harder time keeping a grip on things. I've been dropping things a lot. Of course, my feet have been affected as well. I have been tripping more and losing my balance. It's a little disconcerting at times, and I just have to breathe and be glad at the things that I can do.

I did get my flowers all planted though, and I'm glad that I did. They are so pretty and beautiful and it just makes me smile to see them. I planted geraniums in my window boxes. Geraniums were just meant for window boxes! They love it! I love it too. I love opening my blinds and seeing these big beautiful blooms of color with gorgeous green leaves. It just starts me off on having a good day.

It is what it is...

Well, a new adventure awaits us this fall. Harrison will be in 9th grade, and decided he wanted to be homeschooled again. I guess, depending on how things work out, we might try to get him enrolled in the charter high school, but it is about 25 minutes away, and yeah...

He really really really doesn't want to go to public school. Considering his past adventures in that arena, I can't say that I blame him really. Maybe I'm paranoid, but all I see is him getting beat up and not realizing his potential. He's a really smart person intellectually, but like most kids with ADHD he still struggles with social norms.

I know, you're probably thinking that if I take him away from the school environment, won't he miss out on getting used to social norms? I really don't think so. After seeing how Harrison has progressed in the charter school, which has been awesome, versus the other kids that have been going to public school, and the kids in our neighborhood who are home schooled, I would say he behaves more like the home schooled kids. Not in the social norm arena, but in the, I'm not too worried about peer pressure and being "cool" and "liked" and changing myself so I fit in arena.

Anyway...

Once again, I have had to deal with people telling me why they think what we are planning to do is wrong.

I find this so strange and bizarre. Why do people really think that it's any of their business? Am I abusing my child? No. Am I neglecting him? No. If anything I am trying to prevent both of those things.

Personally I find it to be a very old way of thinking. The, "public school is the only way a child should be taught" way of thinking. I find it wonderfully amazing at all the options kids have available these days that we didn't have when I was growing up.

Harrison is signed up for an online charter school that has some of the best rates in the state. He has the ability to take college classes when he's a junior, just like any other public school student. I find that wonderful! He could almost or completely have his associate's degree earned by the time he graduates from high school, if he wants.

Aside from that, he will also be taking orchestra at the middle school, and seminary, and he will still be in the youth chamber orchestra. Plus, because he is going to be doing the bulk of his schooling at home, he can be in seminary the whole school year, and he can take orchestra the whole school year. I think that is really cool.

If we want we can even become involved with the local home school groups that get together for outings once a week. It may be every other week...I can't remember. Still, he will have seminary, church, scouts, youth chamber orchestra, and orchestra, I think his social needs will be more than met!

For some reason there is this stigma and idea that if you don't learn how to deal with all the negative awful social things while your teenage brain is still developing and you are still trying to figure out yourself, that you just won't succeed in life. Really? Really?!

I also keep thinking, whether or not someone agrees doesn't matter. As long as we are okay with it, he's going to get a high school diploma, and be ready for college, what difference does it make in how that is achieved?

Plus, if we find out that it's not working out so great, we have other options.

To me, it's all win, win, win, win, win. There it is.

School is in session...

So, Harrison's virtual school officially started yesterday. I was a little (okay, A LOT) apprehensive about this year, because when the books came there were so many and I just about had a panic attack. What was I thinking? How would I be able to do this? And I think I was still trying to deal with all the crazy things that happened this summer anyway.

Still, I decided that we had come this far and Harrison really wanted to do homeschool for one more year, so I decided to stick it out and see how things went. Well, so far they have gone really well. At least, I think they have!

The books aren't that intimidating, there's just a lot of them, because most of the work is done offline this year. Not a bad thing in my book. I still need to get better prepared for science and art, but we are getting there.

Hazel is SO excited to meet her teacher today. Her school starts next Monday, so there is a week difference, but I don't think it will be that big of a deal. Although, every day she asks me..."Is today the day I get to go to Kindergarten?"

I know you are probably wondering why I homeschool one child and not the other. Well...one child needs the flexibility, and the other child needs the structure and rigidness of a "brick and mortar" school. Hazel fits into the box quite nicely. She could be the mold for all other students. Harrison is an explorer and curious about everything. Neither one is better than the other, it's just that homeschooling lends itself better to Harrison's learning style and emotional needs at this point in time.

When I ask Harrison if he still wants to homeschool, he gives me a very emphatic YES! and then tells me that next year he wants to go back to regular school. Hopefully by that time he will be able to handle it better and have a better experience. I think he will be bored out of his mind...but it's what he wants to try, so we will try it. :)

Onward and upward we go!

It's that time again...

So, last week we got the shipment of school books to start preparing for school to start. I can't believe it! Where did the summer go??

I also noticed, after looking over my homeschool entries that I really didn't finish my assessment of UTVA and the K12 curriculum. So, I thought I would do that now.

K12 has an amazing curriculum. If you have a public online school program and you want to homeschool your children, it is a good way to go. Not all online public schools do the same thing though. Most of them use the K12 program, which you can read about at K12.com, and the K12 website even has a search menu that you can search for schools in your state.

In Utah, for example, there is a online charter school (UTVA-Utah Virtual Academy), but there are also school districts that have an online program using the K12 curriculum as well. Some of the school districts allow any student in the state to be a part of their program. (Alpine Online, Uintah Navigators, and Washington Online) Some of the school districts only allow students from that district to be a part of the program.

We decided to stick with UTVA for the time being, but it is tempting to switch to Washington Online. We'll see what happens. The reason it is tempting is the UTVA is very strict about hours spent on classwork, portfolios, testing, and other things. Washington Online has obtained a reputation for being more flexible, and you don't have to sign up for the whole course load, whereas with UTVA, if you sign up, you sign up for the WHOLE curriculum. Like I said...we'll see.

Since Harrison is in 3rd grade this year, it was kind of interesting to see the jump in size for the school books we received. In the younger grades most of the course work is online and the parent is sitting right there helping them navigate through it. Starting in 3rd grade, they really try to get almost all of the lessons to be mostly offline, so that will be a change.

One of the nicest things about using the K12 curriculum is the lessons are planned for you. YOU set up the schedule for your student, but the lesson outline, what parts to focus on, is all planned out, even art projects and science experiments. That is SUCH a relief for me. That was one of the hardest things about planning it all on my own was trying to make sure that Harrison was learning the things he needed to be learning at the level he needed to be learning them and staying up on all the coursework.

Looking at my little bookshelf gets a little overwhelming though, and I just have to pause, take a deep breath, and remind myself that I can do this, and it is a good thing.

Only a few more weeks and we will be starting!

Only one more day!

So, there is only one more day until school is out for the summer! Yippee!! I think I have learned A LOT since January, and I've come to realize a lot of new things that I guess I hadn't really thought about before.

1. We take public school teachers WAY TOO MUCH for granted. I already knew this, but really, we should give all teachers an award for making it through the school year with their sanity intact.

2. I always knew homeschooling was hard, but it is HARD! Hard for the parent, hard for the kid, hard all around, but...SO WORTH IT if you do it right.

3. I have come to appreciate all the effort that my teachers went to to try and make learning interesting. I never thought about how hard that is until I taught my own child.

4. I feel sorry for year round teachers who don't get a break. I need a break, and I only taught since January! (and only one child, can you imagine teaching 20+ kids every DAY?!)

I wanted to make it 5 things, but that just isn't happening today, so, four it is. Still, I am so GLAD that summer break is here!!! WOOHOO!!!!

Handwriting Without Tears review

The handwriting curriculum that K12 uses (well, that UTVA uses through K12) is called Handwriting Without Tears. I had read a little about this program when I was researching different methods of homeschooling, but really hadn't seen it or used it first-hand until Harrison started UTVA.

Well, I am IMPRESSED. I thought it just looked like another, albeit unique, handwriting method. It is so much better! Harrison's handwriting was awful. He hates writing, and pretty much anything to do with English (except for reading, he loves to read).

Still, while I had worked with him on improving his penmanship, and it was getting a little bit better, this method has brought sudden changes. He's already forming his letters better. His writing looks so much better than it previously did. When I tell him "best handwriting" it actually looks improved!

So, what is actually different? Well, compared to the other methods I have looked at and tried, and compared to the one that Harrison was taught with at the local school, a big difference is in the paper that is used.

Most methods use the typical traditional manuscript paper that has two solid lines and a dotted middle line. This is supposed to help the student know where to place all the letters. This never really worked so well with Harrison.

The Handwriting Without Tears method uses different paper. It looks like this:




This for some reason helps your student know where exactly the letter should go, and how big the circle on the a, o, etc... should really be. From what I can tell after only using it one week with Harrison, it really does help!

I also like the way they describe how to form the letters. I, in turn, describe it that way to Harrison, and we are correcting bad habits that he has always struggled with in writing. Drawing his o's backwards (which you wouldn't think would be a big deal, but really is when you want uniform writing), starting up and going down when you write l's, h's, etc...

The teacher's manual is great for helping you, as the parent, know how to help your child do this correctly. I even started using it with Hazel when we worked on her valentine's and it was helping her too! I am very tempted to get the kindergarten manual so I can work with her on handwriting at home after she gets home from school.

It even talks about some of the incorrect ways that kids hold their pencils, the unique problems that left-handed students may encounter, and other things, that before I didn't notice, but now I am able to help both my kids with.

Here is an example of one of the pages in the book.


So, personally, I think this method is AMAZING and give it 5 big huge shiny stars!

Ignorance is bliss...

So, today was an interesting day.

Yesterday a sign up sheet was passed around to help bring food for a funeral lunch. I looked at the list, hoping that I would be able to take something. Funeral potatoes (or as I like to call them "Yummy potatoes" because they're, well, YUMMY! and I think it's cruel to associate them with just funerals when they are the ultimate in comfort food)...well, that's not gonna happen. Here Harrison, you read your lesson to yourself, while I make this potato casserole. Although, now I have been "educated" and I know how to make this casserole in relatively speedy time. Maybe I'll put the recipe on here sometime. Maybe.

Anyway, glancing down the rest of the list I saw, salad, 2 1lb bags, Cake, etc... I stopped looking after I saw salad, because, talk about easy! So, I signed up for that and patted myself on the back that I had done a good thing.

Well, today, my dear sweet hubby went to the store and got the salad. I somehow convinced him to teach the science lesson to Harrison today while I took the salad to the church. After I got back from dropping off the salad and going to the store, I came back, and Shane looked at me, and told me how wonderful he thought I was, because I was able to teach Harrison EVERY day without going insane.

Not that he thought it was easy. He's my soundboard, so he gets to hear me whine and complain about how frustrating it is when Harrison is having a difficult day and doesn't want to cooperate in the learning process. Still...it is nice when you know that now they DEFINITELY can relate, and you are just appreciated all the more. Makes me feel good. (Being appreciated, that is, not that he had to go through what I did...):)

The Chickens are Organized!

Okay, so I couldn't help putting that title on this blog. It comes from the movie "Chicken Run" and since we tend to quote movies A LOT in our family, this one came to mind.

Today, we have been busy busy. We organized half of our office, so now it is much easier and much more conducive to learning! YAY! Much easier for me to get the books and things I need when we need them too.

If I had been totally on the ball I would have taken before and after pictures, but, well, I didn't. So, just picture in your mind a super unorganized and messy computer area, and now it looks like this...

Just One More Reason

So, I don't know if I mentioned that another one of the many reasons why we pulled Harrison from school was because his problems had gotten bad enough that it was recommended that we take him to a counselor(therapist) to help him work through all the issues he has been dealing with.

He went for his first session right before Christmas break. Well, today was his fourth session, and the counselor told Shane that if something came up we were more than welcome to bring him back, but that he really felt like Harrison was doing well enough that he didn't need to come back.

YES!!!!!

He also told Shane that he felt like we made a good choice to homeschool him, because it seems to have helped Harrison so much. When Shane told me that I just wanted to jump up and down. I was so excited I even told my visiting teacher about it.

All I could think was, one month and so many positive changes that I just can't believe how much it has helped!

First Impression

So, today was the first day that we could use the lessons that are online for the k12 system. Apparently I am one of few who knew nothing about k12 until I started researching online programs.

Harrison LOVES it! I mean, I guess it's because it comes from a computer. We don't have the lesson books yet, so we are still supplementing with the resources that we already have been using until we get them. Even so, I was pleasantly surprised. We did two history lessons today (technically only needed to do one), and we did review history work that Harrison had never learned, so all in all about an hour and a half of history. (This was not by my choice, Harrison wanted to do it!!!)

So, if that is a sign of things to come, then I have a feeling this is the route we will take.

I will write more about the lessons in another post.

Another new adventure...

So, initially when I first looked into homeschooling Harrison, I looked up lots and lots of websites that were for virtual (or online) schools. Doing this I found out that Utah DOES have a public virtual school, so I signed Harrison up. I didn't think much of it because there was a waiting list, so I figured if anything, he wouldn't be enrolled until next fall, if we decided to homeschool next fall.

Well, last week, I got an e-mail telling me that they had a spot for Harrison. Since I had pretty much not planned on hearing anything, I was surprised! Then, as I thought about it, I wasn't sure it I wanted to go through with it, but as I thought about it more, I thought, why not? I mean, it's free (as in, my tax dollars pay for it), so why not try it? If we decide it's not for us, then we can go back to the more traditional methods of homeschooling.

As I was thinking this through, I looked EVERYWHERE on the internet it seems, trying to find a review for the Utah Virtual Academy. NOTHING. Only one blog article that said they were going to try it out. So, here is the overview, and then after we have tried it, I will tell you my initial reaction in another entry.

So, here are a few things that I have learned, for those who are wondering. There are two online public schools (Utah only has one), and the main one is called K12. K12 in and of itself is not public. If you wanted to buy the curriculum yourself you could. If you lived overseas and wanted your child to use K12's international private school, you could. A lot of states have formed a charter school that uses the K12 curriculum and Utah is one of those. Again, because they are public, they are FREE.

As I was reading different reviews about K12, I realized that they really didn't apply for the most part to me. Mainly because each state has it's own rules and regulations for public schooling. The charter schools have to follow these rules. For example, in some states (Utah), you are assigned a certified teacher, and you have contact with them (phone/e-mail) about once a week to make sure everything is going okay, lessons are being taught, etc... In other states, the teacher goes to the house. In Utah, if you want the teacher to come to your house, that is up to you...not required.

Being a part of the online charter school, you HAVE to follow the state guidelines of teaching your child for 180 school days per year. You sign in online, and attendance is taken. For people who have a difficult time being consistent with homeschool but want their children homeschooled, this could be a good option for them! For me, it's not that big of a deal, since our homeschool is more structured anyway. Using the online academy your child is expected to do 5 hours of schoolwork every day (M-F).

For some, this seems excessive. For me, at this point, it doesn't matter. Harrison does a lot of work anyway since I am trying to get him up to a 5 hour a day curriculum. (He's basically there.) Some days he stays on task and has no breaks, so he gets done early. (This is his choice, not mine). On days where he is a little more distracted and has more breaks, it takes him longer.

So, we will see how that works out. For the younger grades most of the coursework is done offline with textbooks, etc... Here is what is appealing to me... We will get all his coursework...free. He will have the use of a computer and printer that will be loaned to him. Free. The coursework includes all the core subjects, including an elective foreign language, which I chose as Spanish. If Harrison wants to do a different one next fall, I'll let him. His records will be kept...I won't have to worry about it. He will be on task with his peers who are going to regular public school (or most likely ahead once he gets going) and that is fine! I think that is great! An added bonus is that since we are still at home we can still do the religious things that we have been doing every day.

I will definitely keep you posted on the pro's and con's of using this system!

A Clarification...

So, reading my past few posts, I kind of feel like I give the impression that I am now anti-public school. Well, I'm not. :) I think that everything has a purpose, and what works for some doesn't really work for others. I feel that way about a lot of things.

I kind of liked what my sil told me when I was talking to her about the struggles Harrison was having at school. She said, "Public school can be hard when you don't fit in the box."

I really have to agree with that. Where homeschooling is concerned, I am kind of more in the, if my child wants to be homeschooled, I'll do it. If they want to go back to public school, I'll let them do that too. I just want him to learn and be happy doing it. Before I pulled him from school, he was bored, acting out, being teased and bullied relentlessly. I saw my child literally crumpling before my eyes.

So, homeschooling is working. I think I've mentioned before that I can already see a difference in his behavior. He is more respectful to me, his father, his sister... he is more polite. He is beginning to think more highly of himself.

I do however still agree with the socialization article. If the only reason you are keeping your child in public school is because you are worried what will happen to their socialization skills...well, I guess that's your perogative. I admit that it was one of my hangups too, until I really thought about what he would be missing, and realized it was all the things I didn't want him learning anyway.

What About Socialization?

I came across this article when I was looking up homeschool curriculum. I really liked it because I felt the same way. Before I pulled him out, I had more than one person ask me what we would do for socializing.

While most people were very understanding about pulling him out because of the horrible social environment that he had to deal with every day, I did have one person basically argue with me about why they felt what I was doing was wrong.

Did I really want to remove him from a situation where he could LEARN how to deal with bullies? It occurred to me then, and still does, that WHY would I want him to? WHERE would he EVER have to utilize his "bully knowledge" skills as an adult? (I guess if he became a teacher or administrator he would...wouldn't he...) Other than that? No. So, anyway, this article just really rang true to me and I enjoyed reading it so I thought I would share. Here is the link.


What About Socialization?

Home schooling parents are frequently asked, "What about Socialization?" Some well meaning people think that you can not teach children to socialize with others without a traditional school environment. I just look at my children with gratitude. My wife and I have six daughters. What a pleasure it is to see them develop healthy relationships with people of all age groups, and treat others with respect. Home schooled children naturally associate with people of all ages, including adults.

As children attend public school they are segregated into groups by age. Children become part of these groups for years. Their class mates are basically the same, with little change for all of the elementary school years, and sometimes much longer. These friends become all important, hence the source of negative social pressure. Home schooled children run with a different gang, their families. The social pressure exerted, by those who truly love and care about them, is very different from that experienced in the public schools. The wise parent will be involved with a church, where values are taught. Once again, a positive influence is present.

Many home schooling families go on frequent field trips. They experience the theatre, museums, and many cultural activities. These experiences, along with attending church, and normal interaction with families and friends give these children a wide variety of experiences, in various settings, that many children attending public school never will receive. Add to this the experiences that they do not receive, because they are not in public school.

There are many experiences that I received because I attended public school, that I never would have experienced in any other way. Most of us would never meet the following kinds of people if it were not for the public school system.

The Bully: I will never forget my friends who told the class bully that I had said something bad about him. Because I had been taught not to fight, I just sat there as he hit me in the mouth seven consecutive times.

Have you ever heard of a co-worker bulling someone on the job? Yes, but it is both rare and illegal. No employer, in today's litigious society would tolerate such behavior.

The Thief: Who could forget the fellow who was always hungry. So hungry in fact that we felt obligated to buy him lunch every day. He was always bigger than the others, and so was hungrier. I remember meeting this fellow in the boys bathroom one day. He was in the sixth grade, while I was in the third. I felt so sorry for him that I gave him my lunch money (not to mention the fact that I didn't want to get beat up).

Have you ever gone to lunch with some coworkers or friends, and have one of them demand your wallet?

The Great Orator: Everyone loved this fellow. He knew words that nobody else did. He expanded all our vocabularies. He used words that nobody else even knew. Because of him, I discovered the taste of soap, as administered by my mother.

The Show off: Without a large audience, and a class to disrupt, this fellow would never have anyone to entertain.

The list goes on and on and on. The girls all felt that they were in a fashion show, wearing revealing attire, and attracting attention in any way that they could. Children who thought out of the box were forced into silence by the group, and their creativity went untapped. We all learned what was acceptable and unacceptable to the group, and behaved accordingly. Discussing God was against the unwritten laws, and so God was rarely discussed. Actually studying was also taboo. The teachers all graded on the curve, and excellence on the part of one meant lower grades for the rest.

When was the last time you heard of a child picking up a good habit from the public schools? Where do kids learn about sex, drugs, and so many other things. This is where one of my children learned that men used to have tails, and lived in trees.

I have never met a home schooled child that was not polite and respectful. They relate well with adults. They are more caring, less self centered, and better balanced than other children that I have known. There are exceptions, however, just as many children come out of the public schools unscathed.

The socialization problem with home schooled children is a myth. Those who have a conflict of interest usually point to this issue. Why not? They cannot point to academic performance, home schooled children systematically outperform the public schools year in and year out.

The word "school" has many meanings. Fish travel in schools. They see themselves as a part of a group. Schooled children develop "group think" and learn to conform to the demands of the group. There are also "Schools of Thought", where people learn specific ways to think, not how to think.

Home schooling parents have many different reasons for doing what they do. Isolating their children from the world is not one of them. Most home schooling families are involved with a church. They usually participate in activities with other home schooling families. A friend of mine mentioned that her children had more friends after they started home schooling their children than they had while they were in the public schools.

As one man said "Take a walk down the hall ways of a local public school, and then decide, what behaviors you want your children to emulate?"

Interesting

So, I have discovered on this homeschooling adventure of ours that there is A LOT of information out there! This is especially true now, with access to the internet. It has been a really informative and almost overwhelming time for me. Overwhelming because I just sit and go WOW I had no idea all the resources that are available.

I have always admired the people who I feel homeschool their children in a way that is advantageous to them. Their kids are smart, courteous, respectful, and in many ways ahead of the kids who go to public schools. I always felt sorry for the kids whose parents probably shouldn't have homeschooled. These are the people that I knew and know whose kids are behind public schooled children, in some cases so much so that they could be in 3rd grade and not know how to write their name. I feel like that is wrong.

If you want to homeschool your kids, great! Do it! If you think homeschooling is easy, then you are mistaken. It takes a lot of self-discipline and effort. While homeschooling can be more relaxed and set up differently than a public school, you still need to make sure that your child is being taught.

I guess this is the fear that I fight every day...am I teaching my son what he needs to know? If he decides to go back to public school will he be behind? So, it is somewhat comforting to read about others who have gone before me and write about how if you are consistent and teach your child, they will be AHEAD if they go back to public school.

I still haven't found the balance for our homeschool. I know I need to be a little more easygoing, and it is really easy for me to slip into my "everything needs to be perfect and on such and such timeframe..." Kids aren't perfect. Neither are adults. I have to keep reminding myself that he's only in 2nd grade, and that while he is super smart, I don't want to max him out and kill his thirst for knowledge. I know that there has to be a happy medium.

I am still getting over the, "wow, this is what I need him to know by the end of the year" shock. He already knows a lot of it, but it has been really interesting to see where the gaps are. A lot of his gaps are in handwriting, spelling, and English. He can read amazingly well, but his understanding of what he reads is somewhat stunted.

My biggest irritation is that he already has been molded into the "I can't think for myself" mold. I have him doing "Are they thinking?" worksheets, and WOW. These are not hard worksheets at all, but he still struggles on some of them because he has literally no creative thinking skills. When he does math, if he doesn't have a math fact memorized, he can't reason it out. Like, he has all his add facts memorized up to 7 but 8 and up he doesn't. So, whenever he gets to a problem with 8 in it he looks at me and is frustrated because he is so hung up on having it memorized that he can't add it up.

It was interesting though, because the other day I did ask him if he missed anything about going to school and he said "Yes, I miss the gym and the playground." THAT WAS ALL. He didn't say anything about missing kids that were in his class with him, or any of the other things that I thought he might say. As the days go by I can see him improving in so many ways. In only two weeks his print handwriting has already improved. I started him on cursive because he really wanted to learn it, and he loves that. He hates writing print, so learning cursive is his handwriting "reward" so to speak.

I think once we figure out our happy medium, that things will continue to go better and better. A lot of the stress that I had with him in public school, is pretty much gone. I feel like I am doing something to help him feel better about himself, and it really motivates me to do better as well. I think our relationship has improved too. I find patience where I didn't think I had any. I know that I have help with that, but it is encouraging, and helps me feel like this really is something that we can do.

So, onward and upward we go!

Something in the air...or something...

So, I've decided that there's just something about Tuesday that equals "psycho day" where Harrison is concerned. Is it the air? The fact the sun is shining? Something in the water? I don't know. For some reason, Tuesday has just come to be the Homeschool day from my worst nightmare. Seriously, haven't figured it out. Maybe I'm pushing too hard? The moon is in the wrong place in the sky?

Anyway, I guess we'll see how tomorrow goes. This Tuesday was DEFINITELY better than last Tuesday though. So see, there is a plus side. There is also the fact that even though he kind of had a hard day today, he is still doing so much better than he was in school. I can see how his behavior would be difficult to control in school though. I mean, one on one, versus 21 students in the room. He has been treating Hazel so much better. Now he just teases her like a normal brother (I mean, we have to be realistic here), which is much better than tormenting her and just being plain mean like he was before.

I am excited for the extracurricular activity that we have Harrison enrolled in though. We signed him up for karate last Friday, and he will have his second lesson this Friday. He loves it, and it is so fun to watch him. I think it will definitely be a good thing.

Well, on to tomorrow!

We have made it a week... :)

Well, we have successfully completed one full week of homeschool! Yay! And, we are still alive to talk about it. :) No, seriously, it really hasn't been that bad. Already I can see my relationship with Harrison getting better, and even though he had the mega-wiggles today, it was still a good day! His handwriting is improving, and his view of himself is improving too.

I know, you're probably wondering how I can tell that. Well, every day he writes in a journal, which I guess he did at school too. He was able to keep the journal he had for school, and when I read that one, I almost started to cry when I read him writing about how he didn't think he could be a good boy. It was sad! Well, today I finally got him to write in his journal successfully (which is something he struggled with at school too, and I think it was because a journal is a very personal writing based solely on yourself...which he didn't want to think about).

Anyway, today in his journal he wrote, I love being homeschooled, because I am worth being loved. (Part of the other thing I have him doing is reading a self-talk page every day during his reading time, as well as reading out of a book.) So, when I read that, it just made me feel good! I hope it continues to help him think good things about himself.

It has also been a learning experience in that I mean, I knew that a lot of people have this VERY negative image in regard to homeschooling, but it really hit home when I had to go back to the school with Harrison to say goodbye to his teacher and clean out his desk. The teacher was fine. She just wasn't sure if she could let us take the books Harrison had been using or not...(which, mind you, I didn't even mention at all, because, quite frankly, I have my own resources.) So, she sent me to the front office to talk to the principal. Since I am just naive or stupid, I went to the office, and of course the principal was gone, so I talked to the secretary, who prior to this had always been kind of nice. Well...WOW. Talk about a change. I think she seriously thought I was asking if I could take the textbooks. She was acting like I felt like it was DUE to me or something, and that I was trying to take the books.

Anyway, it all came across very rude. And, I think they chewed the teacher out a little too, which is uncalled for. She was just trying to be helpful. Yeah, it's been an eyeopener week, that's for sure.

Wow

So, today was the second official day of homeschooling Harrison. Yesterday was awesome. It just went so smooth and wonderful. I just was amazed and kept thinking that was just great, and why was I so scared to start homeschooling before?

Today, was not so great. First he didn't want to wake up. Then he didn't want to get dressed, didn't want to eat breakfast, didn't want to do math, didn't want to write, etc... etc..

It didn't help that Hazel was ornery before she went to preschool, I was so tired, and I was trying SO HARD to keep my patience it wasn't even funny. The whole time I'm just sitting there praying a constant prayer... yes, I know, I have faith, I can surely do this...

So, finally I called my sister-in-law, talked to her a little, went on a mini-field trip to her house, and then came back home. She had some really good advice, and as the day has progressed I have realized a few things...call it inspiration, or just knowledge finally entering my brain...

I realized that first off, Harrison was probably "testing the waters." As in..."what exactly will mom let me get away with?" And, I also realized that while having almost the same schedule would be great for me because I like schedules and order, etc... it probably wasn't that way for Harrison. It wouldn't be a bad thing if he had the same subjects in a different order every day instead of the exact same order...boom, boom, boom.

So, taking a few ideas from my s-i-l's I decided that we needed to make a poster for Harrison that has all the subjects that he has to do EVERY day, like reading, math, spelling, etc... and let him decide which one he feels like doing right then. When he gets done with a certain subject/task he gets to move a card to that spot telling me that he is done and can move on to a new subject. Then the alternating subjects like history, keyboarding, science, etc...I would do during the last part of school each day.

So, we will see how it goes! What an adventure!

Definitely

Well, I am anticipating a new adventure this next upcoming week! After many prayers and scriptures, I decided...well, of course I collaborated with Shane, so I guess WE decided that what Harrison needed the most right now was some one-on-one time at home. So, for the rest of the school year I am going to home school him. He is doing great academically so, I'm not too worried about that (although, OF COURSE we will be doing academic things) but I'm going to also focus on self-worth, self-image, and positive thinking. Things that we discuss with him, but really haven't been ingrained because he would then go back to school the next day and have it all shot away by negative comments and bullying.

I know what a lot of people think...why would you pull him away from the social side of school? What about being socially involved if that is his problem? And, honestly, we have thought about that. It occurred to me as I was thinking that though, that really, all the socializing he is getting from school is negative and tearing him down (aside from his really wonderful teacher who, really, has been very positive through all the crazy things that have happened).

So what exactly is it that I'm pulling him away from? Being verbally abused every day? Feeling like he is nothing? Being scared to go on the playground because he'll get ganged up on? Getting in trouble because he tells the truth and the other student lies to get out of it? And, when he does go to a teacher and they have a "conference" with the bully's teacher, he's told to "not play that anymore because he just gets beat up?" Yeah, that's a GREAT solution. Gee, that's so tempting to make my 8 YEAR OLD, who is having self-worth problems anyway, have to learn how to deal with.

The other thing I look at, is that he will be socializing in positive ways. He goes to scouts once a week (which he absolutely loves), he goes to church and spends time with kids his age, and he will even go play with kids on his level that are in the neighborhood. Plenty of POSITIVE experiences for him to build on.

So, I am excited, and looking forward to the challenge of this opportunity. It will definitely be a learning experience for both of us, but it is one that I feel will definitely benefit our family.

On a side note, I have already had negative feedback, and frankly, I really don't need anymore "concerned friend/family members" giving me their two cents. If it's positive, great, write away, but if you're just going to tell me how crazy you think I am, or other advice on how you feel we should solve this, then honestly, I really don't need to hear it or read it. :)