I haven't posted for a long time, so who knows if anyone will read this. Lol. Too much to do, too little time.
I haven't worked as a surgical tech for...wow, over five years now. Truth be told, there's a lot I miss about it... there are also things I will never miss.
Anyway, there are some things that become ingrained in you. Muscle memory I guess. I still hand things to people so they can use them. Oh, you need scissors, here you go, and I hand them the handle. Same with forks, knives, tools, etc...
So, yesterday I was making enchiladas for dinner. I was putting mixture in the tortilla and rolling it up, and as I was doing this process, I noticed that whenever one of my hands wasn't busy...it stayed high, above my waist. I almost started laughing. It's such a surgical tech thing to do! When you are in surgery, there is an imaginary line, drawn about waist level, and table level. You cross that line, you're considered unsterile. So, you never drop your hands! You never reach down for anything. If something falls, you let it fall, you don't bend down to grab it (many become quite adept at catching things before they fall past that imaginary line...)
I found it interesting that even after all this time, my arms and hands still automatically go to surgical tech form. :)
Showing posts with label surgery. Show all posts
Showing posts with label surgery. Show all posts
Saturday, March 4, 2017
Tuesday, November 17, 2015
Surgery thoughts on my mind
First I was going to write, "surgery on my mind" but I didn't want everyone to think that I'd had brain surgery...hahaha... :)
I had the surgery to remove the cyst on my jawline a week ago. Man, that week went by fast. A couple things...I was glad they only had to use sedation and local anesthesia to get it out versus the deeper general anesthesia where they stick a tube down your throat and breathe for you. (Very basic descriptions, okay..) Anyway, sedation is a lot easier to come back from.
They successfully removed it all, it was larger than they thought it would be, and the doctor was very glad that the procedure was done in the OR versus in his office. I was very glad too. :) I think the incision site looks really good for only being a week healed. I know that eventually, you won't even be able to see the scar. Now it looks kind of funky because you can see the bumps from the suture under the skin, but those will also eventually go away.
I've been thinking a lot about surgery for the past month or so, or more. Okay, I pretty much think about surgery every day that I drive by the local hospital, which would be almost every day. I miss it. It calls to me. I miss assisting on cases, and helping people with surgical things. I miss saving people's lives, and making their lives better. I MISS IT A LOT. Still, at the moment, it isn't a part of my life. Sometimes that really gets to me, and makes me sad.
It's not to say it isn't a stressful job. It is. I read a study one time, about which profession was one of the most stressful, and it said doctor/surgeon. I wish I could find the study, I would totally post it on here! Then the next question was, which profession do people feel most fulfilled...and it said doctor/surgeon. So, the most stressful, but most fulfilling. Yes, I think that explains it quite nicely.
I had the surgery to remove the cyst on my jawline a week ago. Man, that week went by fast. A couple things...I was glad they only had to use sedation and local anesthesia to get it out versus the deeper general anesthesia where they stick a tube down your throat and breathe for you. (Very basic descriptions, okay..) Anyway, sedation is a lot easier to come back from.
They successfully removed it all, it was larger than they thought it would be, and the doctor was very glad that the procedure was done in the OR versus in his office. I was very glad too. :) I think the incision site looks really good for only being a week healed. I know that eventually, you won't even be able to see the scar. Now it looks kind of funky because you can see the bumps from the suture under the skin, but those will also eventually go away.
I've been thinking a lot about surgery for the past month or so, or more. Okay, I pretty much think about surgery every day that I drive by the local hospital, which would be almost every day. I miss it. It calls to me. I miss assisting on cases, and helping people with surgical things. I miss saving people's lives, and making their lives better. I MISS IT A LOT. Still, at the moment, it isn't a part of my life. Sometimes that really gets to me, and makes me sad.
It's not to say it isn't a stressful job. It is. I read a study one time, about which profession was one of the most stressful, and it said doctor/surgeon. I wish I could find the study, I would totally post it on here! Then the next question was, which profession do people feel most fulfilled...and it said doctor/surgeon. So, the most stressful, but most fulfilling. Yes, I think that explains it quite nicely.
Monday, October 26, 2015
Time
It's been a while since I last posted on here. Life has been busy! My two littles are like energetic puppies. I was raised with five brothers, so I am familiar with boys, but man, these two...they make me tired just watching them! Crawling, jumping, climbing, tumbling, tugging, pulling, in, out, up, through...and don't forget the wrestling! Constant wrestling! I'm surprised one of them hasn't gotten injured or broken a bone yet. (cross fingers it doesn't happen any time soon!!)
Harrison has now been busy doing his online school/regular school mix for a few months, and I think he is really enjoying it. It seems to be a good mix for him. He is doing really well keeping up with his online school work, and he works very hard and diligently at it. Then he has orchestra at the regular school, and seminary, and he is really enjoying those too. It makes me happy to see him liking school and doing great at it.
Hazel we are still trying to help her catch up, but she is getting there. I am glad she has the teacher she does. I really like her, and she does a good job, and she is very understanding and empathetic to Hazel's needs. It's just right for Hazel.
Jeffrey, boy Jeffrey has just done a total turn around! He is talking more, interacting in conversations, wants to read books, count, say colors, it is just thrilling and amazing and makes my heart happy! The doctor checked out his ears and throat the other day, and Jeffrey interacted with him! Our pediatrician always makes little bird chirps when he looks in little kids' ears and when he did it this time, Jeffrey looked at him and said, "There's a BIRD in my EAR!!!" It was so cute! It makes me smile just writing it!
Emmett is so super smart! He already counts to ten. I'm sure he doesn't understand the significence of it yet, but it just amazes me that he does it! He also recognizes a few sight words (very few) and letters. He's just fun, and crazy! I love him though. I love them all. It's not that it's super easy and all just smooth sailing, but being a parent is very rewarding.
So, now onto the other stuff...
I have a growth on my jawline. I know. Eww.. I had it checked today by a surgeon, and it will need to be removed. So, there may be a small surgery in my future. My doctor said it looked like a sebaceous cyst. The reason it needs to be removed is it has grown like crazy the last six months, from being the size of a pencil tip eraser, to more like a big marble (the big steelys). It's also infected and not a happy sebaceous cyst, which also points towards it needing to be removed. I'm supposed to have an ultrasound on it so they can see all the structures and make sure it doesn't involve any facial nerves, large blood vessels, etc... so, hopefully that will be all okay and no problemo... praying for good outcomes on that one.
There are other intriguing things going on that I can't write about yet. So...I may write about it next time. We'll see.
Harrison has now been busy doing his online school/regular school mix for a few months, and I think he is really enjoying it. It seems to be a good mix for him. He is doing really well keeping up with his online school work, and he works very hard and diligently at it. Then he has orchestra at the regular school, and seminary, and he is really enjoying those too. It makes me happy to see him liking school and doing great at it.
Hazel we are still trying to help her catch up, but she is getting there. I am glad she has the teacher she does. I really like her, and she does a good job, and she is very understanding and empathetic to Hazel's needs. It's just right for Hazel.
Jeffrey, boy Jeffrey has just done a total turn around! He is talking more, interacting in conversations, wants to read books, count, say colors, it is just thrilling and amazing and makes my heart happy! The doctor checked out his ears and throat the other day, and Jeffrey interacted with him! Our pediatrician always makes little bird chirps when he looks in little kids' ears and when he did it this time, Jeffrey looked at him and said, "There's a BIRD in my EAR!!!" It was so cute! It makes me smile just writing it!
Emmett is so super smart! He already counts to ten. I'm sure he doesn't understand the significence of it yet, but it just amazes me that he does it! He also recognizes a few sight words (very few) and letters. He's just fun, and crazy! I love him though. I love them all. It's not that it's super easy and all just smooth sailing, but being a parent is very rewarding.
So, now onto the other stuff...
I have a growth on my jawline. I know. Eww.. I had it checked today by a surgeon, and it will need to be removed. So, there may be a small surgery in my future. My doctor said it looked like a sebaceous cyst. The reason it needs to be removed is it has grown like crazy the last six months, from being the size of a pencil tip eraser, to more like a big marble (the big steelys). It's also infected and not a happy sebaceous cyst, which also points towards it needing to be removed. I'm supposed to have an ultrasound on it so they can see all the structures and make sure it doesn't involve any facial nerves, large blood vessels, etc... so, hopefully that will be all okay and no problemo... praying for good outcomes on that one.
There are other intriguing things going on that I can't write about yet. So...I may write about it next time. We'll see.
Friday, October 17, 2014
Hysterectomy Emotions
It's been an interesting week. Physically it's been fine. Better than I expected really. It has been hard to not do too much and try and rest as much as I should, but other than that I can't complain.
One of the things I wondered about before I had my surgery, was how I would feel emotionally afterward.
Well.... for me it has been very similar to how I felt whenever I had a baby. Crazy. Hormones everywhere, crying, emotional, etc... that has been interesting to deal with. It has gotten better as the week has progressed though.
I guess a lot of women feel a sense of emptiness, especially if they had this surgery before they were able to have any kids. I haven't really felt that, but then, I have kids, and I am content with our family. :) I did think and pray long and hard about whether we were really "done" or if there was one more that was supposed to come to our family, but I decided, well, we decided, that it was okay. Four is a good number.
There were also concerns about if I did get pregnant again, how that would affect my health, and whether or not it would be a good risk to take. It's an understandable concern...I mean, I don't think I've had one pregnancy where I didn't end up on bed rest at the end. With each baby it got worse too, so I definitely took this all into account.
There were many times I wondered if I should wait just because Emmett and Jeffrey are so young, and it would be difficult to care for them while I was healing. Then, every time my body would decide to have a cycle, it was just horrible. I know I've written about that before, but seriously, it was awful. Six weeks didn't seem to be that long of a time frame...actually that is about how long apart my cycles were becoming...
So, interesting things about my surgery...
I thought there would be a lot of endometriosis. There was hardly any. I think my doctor was surprised about that too, since the last time I had surgery for endometriosis I had no clue I even had it and I was at a stage III (which is really bad).
I think, if I remember right, (I will probably find out at my follow up appointment in 5 weeks) he felt afterward that the pain could have been from the adhesions I had from my last c-section, and that he could see why I was having issues, because of the condition of my uterus. It makes me wonder if they cut it open to look at the inside. (Too descriptive? Sorry...)
I thought my ovaries would be borderline on needing to be removed. They looked normal. NORMAL. They didn't even look polycystic. That definitely surprised me. I was extremely grateful, but definitely surprised. So, we'll have to see about the whole PCOS thing.
So, I don't really question whether or not I did the right thing. Right after I had surgery, even though I was in pain, I felt physically better. It reminded me of how I felt after I had my gallbladder removed. I just felt better, like something that was making me sick was gone. That's the best way I can describe it.
Hopefully I will continue to heal well, and things will continue to get better. I still have no idea how I am going to take care of my little boys when Shane goes back to work, but we'll just have to take it a day at a time I suppose. Maybe a solution will present itself. :)
One of the things I wondered about before I had my surgery, was how I would feel emotionally afterward.
Well.... for me it has been very similar to how I felt whenever I had a baby. Crazy. Hormones everywhere, crying, emotional, etc... that has been interesting to deal with. It has gotten better as the week has progressed though.
I guess a lot of women feel a sense of emptiness, especially if they had this surgery before they were able to have any kids. I haven't really felt that, but then, I have kids, and I am content with our family. :) I did think and pray long and hard about whether we were really "done" or if there was one more that was supposed to come to our family, but I decided, well, we decided, that it was okay. Four is a good number.
There were also concerns about if I did get pregnant again, how that would affect my health, and whether or not it would be a good risk to take. It's an understandable concern...I mean, I don't think I've had one pregnancy where I didn't end up on bed rest at the end. With each baby it got worse too, so I definitely took this all into account.
There were many times I wondered if I should wait just because Emmett and Jeffrey are so young, and it would be difficult to care for them while I was healing. Then, every time my body would decide to have a cycle, it was just horrible. I know I've written about that before, but seriously, it was awful. Six weeks didn't seem to be that long of a time frame...actually that is about how long apart my cycles were becoming...
So, interesting things about my surgery...
I thought there would be a lot of endometriosis. There was hardly any. I think my doctor was surprised about that too, since the last time I had surgery for endometriosis I had no clue I even had it and I was at a stage III (which is really bad).
I think, if I remember right, (I will probably find out at my follow up appointment in 5 weeks) he felt afterward that the pain could have been from the adhesions I had from my last c-section, and that he could see why I was having issues, because of the condition of my uterus. It makes me wonder if they cut it open to look at the inside. (Too descriptive? Sorry...)
I thought my ovaries would be borderline on needing to be removed. They looked normal. NORMAL. They didn't even look polycystic. That definitely surprised me. I was extremely grateful, but definitely surprised. So, we'll have to see about the whole PCOS thing.
So, I don't really question whether or not I did the right thing. Right after I had surgery, even though I was in pain, I felt physically better. It reminded me of how I felt after I had my gallbladder removed. I just felt better, like something that was making me sick was gone. That's the best way I can describe it.
Hopefully I will continue to heal well, and things will continue to get better. I still have no idea how I am going to take care of my little boys when Shane goes back to work, but we'll just have to take it a day at a time I suppose. Maybe a solution will present itself. :)
Monday, October 13, 2014
Healing
The surgery went well. I spent one night in the hospital and then came home that afternoon. It hasn't been too bad of a recovery really.
I am a little antsy to be back to normal though. I can tell that it is going to take a huge amount of patience on my part to be good and not do anything I'm not supposed to until the doctor clears me.
My follow up appointment is in six weeks.
It's weird because some of the pain is similar to a c-section (which makes sense since they had to release the uterus from the c section scar) but most of the pain comes from where I imagine my ovaries are. Visualizing all the blood vessels they had to cauterize/ligate, that also makes sense. I just never thought of it before. Then of course there is the pain from the small incisions where they inserted the scopes.
So far today I haven't had to take any heavy painkillers, just ibuprofen. I hope that keeps up. That would be nice. :)
I guess I forgot to mention that they were able to save my ovaries. In fact, my doctor said they looked like they were in really good condition. So, that is great news. I have to wonder if they look that way because of the herbs that I started taking a few months ago. Either way, I am glad they weren't removed. I really didn't want to be on hormone therapy for 30 years.
Emotionally I am feeling lonely. I guess that's the best way to put it. I also feel tired, which is understandable. Hopefully I will continue to get better and heal the way I am supposed to,
I am a little antsy to be back to normal though. I can tell that it is going to take a huge amount of patience on my part to be good and not do anything I'm not supposed to until the doctor clears me.
My follow up appointment is in six weeks.
It's weird because some of the pain is similar to a c-section (which makes sense since they had to release the uterus from the c section scar) but most of the pain comes from where I imagine my ovaries are. Visualizing all the blood vessels they had to cauterize/ligate, that also makes sense. I just never thought of it before. Then of course there is the pain from the small incisions where they inserted the scopes.
So far today I haven't had to take any heavy painkillers, just ibuprofen. I hope that keeps up. That would be nice. :)
I guess I forgot to mention that they were able to save my ovaries. In fact, my doctor said they looked like they were in really good condition. So, that is great news. I have to wonder if they look that way because of the herbs that I started taking a few months ago. Either way, I am glad they weren't removed. I really didn't want to be on hormone therapy for 30 years.
Emotionally I am feeling lonely. I guess that's the best way to put it. I also feel tired, which is understandable. Hopefully I will continue to get better and heal the way I am supposed to,
Wednesday, October 8, 2014
Pre Op
I think I have been somewhat preoccupied with getting ready for the surgery that I'm going to have.
A big part is because it's such a big surgery for me. I mean, I will have a major organ removed from my body. I guess it's a big deal to me, even though I know I will feel a lot better, and things will be better, it's just big.
It didn't help when I told Harrison yesterday that I was having surgery and then told him what for. He looked at me and was all, "So I won't get anymore brothers and sisters?" Yeah, my heart panged a little.
Still, I know this is the right thing to do and the right time. It seems weird that it is the right time, because it makes me feel old. I am ready to be free of the pain and everything else that comes with having a cycle though. So, that is a relief. It will be so nice to not have to worry about it anymore.
I know some people have asked me why I don't just get an ablation. An ablation is where they cauterize and burn the inside of the uterus so you no longer have periods. For a lot of people they are a great option when they are done having kids.
I remember discussing ablations with doctors that I worked with, and there were many times they were doing an ablation when they knew it most likely wouldn't work, or wouldn't work for long, because of the conditions that the patient had. Sometimes they had to do it in order for their patient's insurance to cover a hysterectomy, and sometimes it was the patient who wanted to try something less invasive even though the doctor knew that the odds were high that it wouldn't work. For people like me, it's just one more surgery that would be ineffective until I had a hysterectomy. So, I decided to skip that step.
Today I get my blood drawn and have lab work done, and a clear liquid diet...and tomorrow...it's onward to a new way of life.
A big part is because it's such a big surgery for me. I mean, I will have a major organ removed from my body. I guess it's a big deal to me, even though I know I will feel a lot better, and things will be better, it's just big.
It didn't help when I told Harrison yesterday that I was having surgery and then told him what for. He looked at me and was all, "So I won't get anymore brothers and sisters?" Yeah, my heart panged a little.
Still, I know this is the right thing to do and the right time. It seems weird that it is the right time, because it makes me feel old. I am ready to be free of the pain and everything else that comes with having a cycle though. So, that is a relief. It will be so nice to not have to worry about it anymore.
I know some people have asked me why I don't just get an ablation. An ablation is where they cauterize and burn the inside of the uterus so you no longer have periods. For a lot of people they are a great option when they are done having kids.
I remember discussing ablations with doctors that I worked with, and there were many times they were doing an ablation when they knew it most likely wouldn't work, or wouldn't work for long, because of the conditions that the patient had. Sometimes they had to do it in order for their patient's insurance to cover a hysterectomy, and sometimes it was the patient who wanted to try something less invasive even though the doctor knew that the odds were high that it wouldn't work. For people like me, it's just one more surgery that would be ineffective until I had a hysterectomy. So, I decided to skip that step.
Today I get my blood drawn and have lab work done, and a clear liquid diet...and tomorrow...it's onward to a new way of life.
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Surgeries, Health, and Music
My world has been a bit eclectic lately, so I felt like the title fit well.
It's kind of interesting to post something about surgery, especially the surgery I am getting prepared to have. Prior to getting pregnant with Jeffrey I had a diagnostic lap surgery where they were going to remove a growth from my uterus. Before that I had struggled for seven years to get pregnant at all. I got pregnant once in that time, but I miscarried. It was a rough time. When I had that surgery it was discovered that I had endometriosis. BAD endometriosis. It was stage 3 which is one of the higher levels of endometriosis. Knowing what I know now, I realize what a miracle it was that I became pregnant with Harrison and Hazel at all. I consider it a huge blessing that I didn't feel or experience the level of pain that most women feel with this condition.
So, during that surgery, they cleaned out the endometriosis the best they could. My cycles after I had Jeffrey were heavy but not bad, and more regular than they had been for a long time. This would probably explain why I was able to become pregnant with Emmett and had him when Jeffrey was 17 months old.
Well, now things are terrible again. The hormones, the mood swings, the PMS, the bleeding, the cramps, etc... etc... it is awful. Every time my period comes, is not a great thing. It's hard on me, it's hard on my family, and I am always relieved when it goes away again.
We decided that it was time. So I am preparing to have a hysterectomy. I am having it done all laparascopic which I think is pretty cool. The doctor I go to specializes in doing this type of procedure and was trained by one of the best surgeons in the country. He is also very fast. I asked him how long he thought it would take and he told me the hysterectomy portion would probably take an hour.
I know that probably sounds like a long time to people who have never assisted on surgery, but I've assisted on lots of hysterectomies and that's super fast! Even a surgeon who is really good at doing vaginal hysterectomies usually takes 2-2 1/2 hours.
Laparascopic surgeries usually take longer anyway, because they are being done with a scope. So, an hour is pretty amazing.
Of course, I will be having my endometriosis cleaned out as well, so that will probably add another hour to the surgical time.
I feel at peace with it. That among many other things lets me know it is a good choice to make.
I think I wrote previously about how my CMT (charcot-marie-toothe) syndrome is getting worse. I am sure that eventually I will have to get an official diagnosis from a neurologist just to say that yes, it has been scientifically diagnosed, but it is quite obvious that I have an active form of it. I have been trying to keep the muscles I have working, especially in my hands, but my right hand has really been acting up lately. My fingers kind of spasm and wont' move correctly.
That makes me kind of sad, but, oh well. It is something I will have to get used to dealing with.
At least I can always enjoy music with my ears or even memories at the very least.
And with that, here is one of my favorite songs, Absolutely breathtaking, sung by Alfie Boe. I hope you will take the time to listen.
It's kind of interesting to post something about surgery, especially the surgery I am getting prepared to have. Prior to getting pregnant with Jeffrey I had a diagnostic lap surgery where they were going to remove a growth from my uterus. Before that I had struggled for seven years to get pregnant at all. I got pregnant once in that time, but I miscarried. It was a rough time. When I had that surgery it was discovered that I had endometriosis. BAD endometriosis. It was stage 3 which is one of the higher levels of endometriosis. Knowing what I know now, I realize what a miracle it was that I became pregnant with Harrison and Hazel at all. I consider it a huge blessing that I didn't feel or experience the level of pain that most women feel with this condition.
So, during that surgery, they cleaned out the endometriosis the best they could. My cycles after I had Jeffrey were heavy but not bad, and more regular than they had been for a long time. This would probably explain why I was able to become pregnant with Emmett and had him when Jeffrey was 17 months old.
Well, now things are terrible again. The hormones, the mood swings, the PMS, the bleeding, the cramps, etc... etc... it is awful. Every time my period comes, is not a great thing. It's hard on me, it's hard on my family, and I am always relieved when it goes away again.
We decided that it was time. So I am preparing to have a hysterectomy. I am having it done all laparascopic which I think is pretty cool. The doctor I go to specializes in doing this type of procedure and was trained by one of the best surgeons in the country. He is also very fast. I asked him how long he thought it would take and he told me the hysterectomy portion would probably take an hour.
I know that probably sounds like a long time to people who have never assisted on surgery, but I've assisted on lots of hysterectomies and that's super fast! Even a surgeon who is really good at doing vaginal hysterectomies usually takes 2-2 1/2 hours.
Laparascopic surgeries usually take longer anyway, because they are being done with a scope. So, an hour is pretty amazing.
Of course, I will be having my endometriosis cleaned out as well, so that will probably add another hour to the surgical time.
I feel at peace with it. That among many other things lets me know it is a good choice to make.
I think I wrote previously about how my CMT (charcot-marie-toothe) syndrome is getting worse. I am sure that eventually I will have to get an official diagnosis from a neurologist just to say that yes, it has been scientifically diagnosed, but it is quite obvious that I have an active form of it. I have been trying to keep the muscles I have working, especially in my hands, but my right hand has really been acting up lately. My fingers kind of spasm and wont' move correctly.
That makes me kind of sad, but, oh well. It is something I will have to get used to dealing with.
At least I can always enjoy music with my ears or even memories at the very least.
And with that, here is one of my favorite songs, Absolutely breathtaking, sung by Alfie Boe. I hope you will take the time to listen.
Monday, October 3, 2011
Exhausted
I am so tired after this busy day!
It started with an early doctor visit to the doctor who did my gallbladder surgery. I think he must be a morning person. He opens his office at 8 am. My appointment was at 8:30. This was fine, because I had a second doctor appointment at 10:45, 30 minutes away, with Dr. Arrington, so, it coincided perfectly in the driving scheme of things.
Shane came home and was definitely exhausted from working all night. I took one look at him and knew that even though he was willing to go with me to these appointments...it was NOT going to happen. Even if he went he would have been sleepy and not all there. So, I thought about it for two seconds before deciding that I would rather have him sleep well and have time with him in the evening.
He told me he would take care of Jeffrey. So I let him for the first appointment. It went well and I found out how close I came to dying. I had kind of figured this out already from the amount and types of antibiotics they had put me on. My whole gallbladder was full of infection. You know things are bad when they put you on the antibiotics they save to use as a last resort.The nuclear bombs of antibiotics. :) Plus I was on I V antibiotics the whole time I was in the hospital.
When I came home to eat breakfast, Shane asked me if I could hold Jeffrey until I needed to go. I knew that if I left Jeff with him, he wouldn't get any sleep, and I wouldn't get to spend any time with him in the evening.
So, even though he told me to bring Jeffrey back to him before I left, I knew that I wasn't going to. :) I felt really good, and knew that if I was careful, I would be okay.
Well, the trip took about an hour longer than I had anticipated. I'm guessing they had an unplanned emergency surgery that threw them off schedule, because Dr. Arrington was in scrubs, and he only wears scrubs when he does surgery. I felt bad for them because they were behind and I could tell they were running around as quickly as they could.
So, my 10:45 appointment ended up getting over at about 11:50. Still, Jeffrey did pretty good, and slept on the way there and on the way back. Can't complain about that! Physically I was pretty drained. We took a nap and I was glad that Harrison's scout leader called to remind me of scouts today or I would have been late picking the kids up from school.
I am going to sleep!
It started with an early doctor visit to the doctor who did my gallbladder surgery. I think he must be a morning person. He opens his office at 8 am. My appointment was at 8:30. This was fine, because I had a second doctor appointment at 10:45, 30 minutes away, with Dr. Arrington, so, it coincided perfectly in the driving scheme of things.
Shane came home and was definitely exhausted from working all night. I took one look at him and knew that even though he was willing to go with me to these appointments...it was NOT going to happen. Even if he went he would have been sleepy and not all there. So, I thought about it for two seconds before deciding that I would rather have him sleep well and have time with him in the evening.
He told me he would take care of Jeffrey. So I let him for the first appointment. It went well and I found out how close I came to dying. I had kind of figured this out already from the amount and types of antibiotics they had put me on. My whole gallbladder was full of infection. You know things are bad when they put you on the antibiotics they save to use as a last resort.The nuclear bombs of antibiotics. :) Plus I was on I V antibiotics the whole time I was in the hospital.
When I came home to eat breakfast, Shane asked me if I could hold Jeffrey until I needed to go. I knew that if I left Jeff with him, he wouldn't get any sleep, and I wouldn't get to spend any time with him in the evening.
So, even though he told me to bring Jeffrey back to him before I left, I knew that I wasn't going to. :) I felt really good, and knew that if I was careful, I would be okay.
Well, the trip took about an hour longer than I had anticipated. I'm guessing they had an unplanned emergency surgery that threw them off schedule, because Dr. Arrington was in scrubs, and he only wears scrubs when he does surgery. I felt bad for them because they were behind and I could tell they were running around as quickly as they could.
So, my 10:45 appointment ended up getting over at about 11:50. Still, Jeffrey did pretty good, and slept on the way there and on the way back. Can't complain about that! Physically I was pretty drained. We took a nap and I was glad that Harrison's scout leader called to remind me of scouts today or I would have been late picking the kids up from school.
I am going to sleep!
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Off kilter
This is a REALLY long post...just warning you...
Well, I really feel like my world has been shifted off it's axis.
I knew having a baby would be an adjustment after seven years, and I was prepared for that. :) Being exhausted at night and constant caring for a baby, I knew would be draining but so worth it, and it definitely has been. Jeffrey is so cute and adorable and just great baby all around.
I finally felt like I was getting a routine and back to normal. I didn't have any pain from the c-section anymore even though I knew I was still healing. I was starting to be able to take care of my house to an extent... :) Things were looking good, and Jeffrey was even starting to sleep just a tad longer at night.
Breastfeeding was going really well, and it was something that I was getting used to, and even a routine to that.
WELL...two weeks ago I had an episode where I felt excruciating pain. I am beginning to discover all different types of pain, and wow, this one is definitely a doozy. I almost made Shane take me to the ER then, but I was so tired of being told nothing was wrong, that we waited. I had a blessing, I felt a little better, got my back adjusted, and the pain went away.
Then, Friday, I began to feel a mild similar pain. Almost like a precursor to the pain I had felt before. So, we went in to see the doctor. The pain always presented way up high on my left back right where my rib cage is. Because of the location, and because it came suddenly and stopped suddenly, he kind of thought it was a muscle spasm...but I could tell it was really just to rule things out. The one thing that made him think it might not be that was I also had nausea and vomiting with it too. (I know, tmi, but just in case someone has a similar thing, I thought you should know.)
Almost an hour after the doctor, I felt the same horrible pain. The medicine I had just gotten wasn't helping at all. I almost made Shane take me in to the ER again, but decided to just wait it out. It was always so weird because it always originated in my back spine would wrap around the left rib cage and then hurt to breathe in.
The pain lasted almost eight hours that time, which was a definite sign to me that it wasn't just a muscle spasm because those are only supposed to be short lived. Well, Saturday morning, the pain was mostly gone, and while I didn't feel 100 % I felt mildly good enough to go to an open house at Shane's work. Honestly, looking back, I don't know how I did it.
Almost immediately after we got home, I felt terrible. I though my back must be out something horrible, and my awesome chiropractor came in from home to adjust my back at his office on a Saturday afternoon. My ribs were out of alignment, and he did adjust them and my neck, but the pain was only somewhat decreased.
By Sunday morning about 3 am I had finally reached a point where I couldn't take it anymore and we went in to the ER.
You have to remember the pain was always originated on the upper left. THIS IS WEIRD AND NOT TYPICAL. The ER doc started asking me questions, and then palpating all the different organs. When he got to my galbladder, I knew that was what was wrong. It was SO TENDER, and located in the exact opposite location. Your gallbladder is located under your liver, and usually when people have pain with it, they will feel it where it is...under your right rib cage area.
They did an ultrasound, and my gallbladder was full of stones and the wall was thickened. I had surgery a few hours later. There they found out that not only did I have stones, I had stones in the bile duct. (when you are a surgical tech, you always know this is bad, I was NOT happy when I found this out) it is definitely a complicaton to the condition. It was made even more interesting by the finding that the bile in my gallbladder was WHITE. This is also bizarre and not typical. Bile is usually a pale greenish color and in majority of sick gallbladders the bile has turned a sludgy blackish green.
So, after surgery I was transferred to a larger hospital where they could remove the stones from my bile duct with a scope. They removed them that evening.
I was in the hospital from Sunday to today, when they released me this afternoon. I guess I was just in an emotional cocoon. My mom and dad and inlaws had all been taking care of my kids. It was almost like leaving the hospital I was bashed in the head with the reality brick. My stomach hurts higher so it is painful once again to hold my baby. I can't nurse because my milk will kill my baby if I give it to him so I have to pump and dump it. So every time I hold my baby all he wants to do is be bonded with me and nurse and I can't do it. I think I cried for almost two hours since I got home.
My parents have been amazing and such a great help. My mom has been completely caring for Jeffrey since it happened. My mother in law is coming and spending the day the one day they had something they had to do, so that Jeffrey will be taken care of. She is amazing and awesome too. My emotions are so raw and on the surface. This is so hard. I know things will work out, and one day I will look back on this and it will be one of those experiences where you will see the hands of angels lifting you up and helping you and knowing that is the only way you made it through. I can already see it. I know it will work out. I know it will.
And this too shall pass...
Well, I really feel like my world has been shifted off it's axis.
I knew having a baby would be an adjustment after seven years, and I was prepared for that. :) Being exhausted at night and constant caring for a baby, I knew would be draining but so worth it, and it definitely has been. Jeffrey is so cute and adorable and just great baby all around.
I finally felt like I was getting a routine and back to normal. I didn't have any pain from the c-section anymore even though I knew I was still healing. I was starting to be able to take care of my house to an extent... :) Things were looking good, and Jeffrey was even starting to sleep just a tad longer at night.
Breastfeeding was going really well, and it was something that I was getting used to, and even a routine to that.
WELL...two weeks ago I had an episode where I felt excruciating pain. I am beginning to discover all different types of pain, and wow, this one is definitely a doozy. I almost made Shane take me to the ER then, but I was so tired of being told nothing was wrong, that we waited. I had a blessing, I felt a little better, got my back adjusted, and the pain went away.
Then, Friday, I began to feel a mild similar pain. Almost like a precursor to the pain I had felt before. So, we went in to see the doctor. The pain always presented way up high on my left back right where my rib cage is. Because of the location, and because it came suddenly and stopped suddenly, he kind of thought it was a muscle spasm...but I could tell it was really just to rule things out. The one thing that made him think it might not be that was I also had nausea and vomiting with it too. (I know, tmi, but just in case someone has a similar thing, I thought you should know.)
Almost an hour after the doctor, I felt the same horrible pain. The medicine I had just gotten wasn't helping at all. I almost made Shane take me in to the ER again, but decided to just wait it out. It was always so weird because it always originated in my back spine would wrap around the left rib cage and then hurt to breathe in.
The pain lasted almost eight hours that time, which was a definite sign to me that it wasn't just a muscle spasm because those are only supposed to be short lived. Well, Saturday morning, the pain was mostly gone, and while I didn't feel 100 % I felt mildly good enough to go to an open house at Shane's work. Honestly, looking back, I don't know how I did it.
Almost immediately after we got home, I felt terrible. I though my back must be out something horrible, and my awesome chiropractor came in from home to adjust my back at his office on a Saturday afternoon. My ribs were out of alignment, and he did adjust them and my neck, but the pain was only somewhat decreased.
By Sunday morning about 3 am I had finally reached a point where I couldn't take it anymore and we went in to the ER.
You have to remember the pain was always originated on the upper left. THIS IS WEIRD AND NOT TYPICAL. The ER doc started asking me questions, and then palpating all the different organs. When he got to my galbladder, I knew that was what was wrong. It was SO TENDER, and located in the exact opposite location. Your gallbladder is located under your liver, and usually when people have pain with it, they will feel it where it is...under your right rib cage area.
They did an ultrasound, and my gallbladder was full of stones and the wall was thickened. I had surgery a few hours later. There they found out that not only did I have stones, I had stones in the bile duct. (when you are a surgical tech, you always know this is bad, I was NOT happy when I found this out) it is definitely a complicaton to the condition. It was made even more interesting by the finding that the bile in my gallbladder was WHITE. This is also bizarre and not typical. Bile is usually a pale greenish color and in majority of sick gallbladders the bile has turned a sludgy blackish green.
So, after surgery I was transferred to a larger hospital where they could remove the stones from my bile duct with a scope. They removed them that evening.
I was in the hospital from Sunday to today, when they released me this afternoon. I guess I was just in an emotional cocoon. My mom and dad and inlaws had all been taking care of my kids. It was almost like leaving the hospital I was bashed in the head with the reality brick. My stomach hurts higher so it is painful once again to hold my baby. I can't nurse because my milk will kill my baby if I give it to him so I have to pump and dump it. So every time I hold my baby all he wants to do is be bonded with me and nurse and I can't do it. I think I cried for almost two hours since I got home.
My parents have been amazing and such a great help. My mom has been completely caring for Jeffrey since it happened. My mother in law is coming and spending the day the one day they had something they had to do, so that Jeffrey will be taken care of. She is amazing and awesome too. My emotions are so raw and on the surface. This is so hard. I know things will work out, and one day I will look back on this and it will be one of those experiences where you will see the hands of angels lifting you up and helping you and knowing that is the only way you made it through. I can already see it. I know it will work out. I know it will.
And this too shall pass...
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
The Good, The Bad, The Ugly
The Good:
Well, I had my follow-up doctor appointment today, and I learned a lot. First, I relearned and affirmed, that my doctor is amazing. He is very knowledgeable and I asked him a LOT of questions today.
We went over my surgey pictures, and I learned that I am very very blessed to have the two kids that I do. Also that I am very blessed to not have had a lot of pain with endometriosis. There is a possibility that we may have more kids...but it's just a possibility. The scars from the surgery are healing up nicely, in fact, the belly button incision you can't even see anymore! I thought that was pretty cool.
The Bad:
The endometriosis that I have was NOT caused by my c-sections. I have a LOT of endometriosis. A LOT. He told me that normally he is more agressive in getting rid of the endometrial tissue but because we want to have more kids, he put preserving my ability to get pregnant as a top priority. He did tell me that eventually it will need to be taken care of, but unless I get more pain, or horrible bleeding, that we should be able to wait until we are ready to have it done.
The UGLY:
There are some bad patches of endometrial tissue. The fallopian tubes and ovaries are badly affected. The fallopian tubes are clear, but the endometriosis appears to go through the outer wall of the fallopian tube. Same with the ovaries. So, eventually I will need to have it all taken out. When that happens the areas of endometriosis next to the fallopian tubes and ovaries need to be taken care of too.
I told my doctor that while it would be wonderful to find out I was pregnant, I am at peace with the fact that it may never happen. Yes, I still have my up and down days. Yes there are times when I wonder why. More often though, I find myself content with the fact that I have tried, had the desire, and pretty much that is all I can do. More and more often lately I find myself wondering if we really do want to have more kids. ; ) I find that "want" doesn't really adequately describe my emotion. I really do feel like it would be a blessing if we were able to have more, but also realize that we have been richly blessed to have the two that we do.
Well, I had my follow-up doctor appointment today, and I learned a lot. First, I relearned and affirmed, that my doctor is amazing. He is very knowledgeable and I asked him a LOT of questions today.
We went over my surgey pictures, and I learned that I am very very blessed to have the two kids that I do. Also that I am very blessed to not have had a lot of pain with endometriosis. There is a possibility that we may have more kids...but it's just a possibility. The scars from the surgery are healing up nicely, in fact, the belly button incision you can't even see anymore! I thought that was pretty cool.
The Bad:
The endometriosis that I have was NOT caused by my c-sections. I have a LOT of endometriosis. A LOT. He told me that normally he is more agressive in getting rid of the endometrial tissue but because we want to have more kids, he put preserving my ability to get pregnant as a top priority. He did tell me that eventually it will need to be taken care of, but unless I get more pain, or horrible bleeding, that we should be able to wait until we are ready to have it done.
The UGLY:
There are some bad patches of endometrial tissue. The fallopian tubes and ovaries are badly affected. The fallopian tubes are clear, but the endometriosis appears to go through the outer wall of the fallopian tube. Same with the ovaries. So, eventually I will need to have it all taken out. When that happens the areas of endometriosis next to the fallopian tubes and ovaries need to be taken care of too.
I told my doctor that while it would be wonderful to find out I was pregnant, I am at peace with the fact that it may never happen. Yes, I still have my up and down days. Yes there are times when I wonder why. More often though, I find myself content with the fact that I have tried, had the desire, and pretty much that is all I can do. More and more often lately I find myself wondering if we really do want to have more kids. ; ) I find that "want" doesn't really adequately describe my emotion. I really do feel like it would be a blessing if we were able to have more, but also realize that we have been richly blessed to have the two that we do.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Kickin
So, recovering from this surgery has been a little more difficult than I originally anticipated. Hopefully I am on the upswing though. I have raised it from the 1-2 level to the 3-5 level. ;)
Thinking about the surgery has made me wonder though, because they gave me versed in the hallway when I was on the gurney, or as they like to call it "happy juice", and remember NOTHING about the operating room or anything, and it makes me wonder if that's what it's like for most people.
When I'm working in the operating room it always seems like the patient is fairly with it. I mean, their eyes are open, they move to the operating bed like you tell them to, and they "appear" awake. They respond to questions you ask them. Sometimes they even ask me questions.
Now it makes me wonder if they are all loopy on versed! I will have to ask one of the anesthesiologists that I work with. I know that they don't usually give c-section patients versed because they like to have them remember their baby being born.
Anyway, it does make me wonder!
Thinking about the surgery has made me wonder though, because they gave me versed in the hallway when I was on the gurney, or as they like to call it "happy juice", and remember NOTHING about the operating room or anything, and it makes me wonder if that's what it's like for most people.
When I'm working in the operating room it always seems like the patient is fairly with it. I mean, their eyes are open, they move to the operating bed like you tell them to, and they "appear" awake. They respond to questions you ask them. Sometimes they even ask me questions.
Now it makes me wonder if they are all loopy on versed! I will have to ask one of the anesthesiologists that I work with. I know that they don't usually give c-section patients versed because they like to have them remember their baby being born.
Anyway, it does make me wonder!
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