The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

The Good:

Well, I had my follow-up doctor appointment today, and I learned a lot. First, I relearned and affirmed, that my doctor is amazing. He is very knowledgeable and I asked him a LOT of questions today.

We went over my surgey pictures, and I learned that I am very very blessed to have the two kids that I do. Also that I am very blessed to not have had a lot of pain with endometriosis. There is a possibility that we may have more kids...but it's just a possibility. The scars from the surgery are healing up nicely, in fact, the belly button incision you can't even see anymore! I thought that was pretty cool.

The Bad:
The endometriosis that I have was NOT caused by my c-sections. I have a LOT of endometriosis. A LOT. He told me that normally he is more agressive in getting rid of the endometrial tissue but because we want to have more kids, he put preserving my ability to get pregnant as a top priority. He did tell me that eventually it will need to be taken care of, but unless I get more pain, or horrible bleeding, that we should be able to wait until we are ready to have it done.

The UGLY:

There are some bad patches of endometrial tissue. The fallopian tubes and ovaries are badly affected. The fallopian tubes are clear, but the endometriosis appears to go through the outer wall of the fallopian tube. Same with the ovaries. So, eventually I will need to have it all taken out. When that happens the areas of endometriosis next to the fallopian tubes and ovaries need to be taken care of too.

I told my doctor that while it would be wonderful to find out I was pregnant, I am at peace with the fact that it may never happen. Yes, I still have my up and down days. Yes there are times when I wonder why. More often though, I find myself content with the fact that I have tried, had the desire, and pretty much that is all I can do. More and more often lately I find myself wondering if we really do want to have more kids. ; ) I find that "want" doesn't really adequately describe my emotion. I really do feel like it would be a blessing if we were able to have more, but also realize that we have been richly blessed to have the two that we do.