Plan B

Back in the beginning of the year, we had Harrison signed up for an online school called Mountain Heights Academy. It is a very academically rigorous school, and great if you have a student who wants to be intellectually challenged and prepared for college. The teachers are really great, and Harrison really liked all the teachers he had.

Harrison is very smart, but because of his ADHD he really struggles when things aren't step by step organized. In January we realized that Moutain Heights wasn't working for him and he was literally flunking out. So, we enrolled him in a school called Utah Online School (formerly called Washington Online, because the county it is based out of is Washington county in Utah. I think they changed it for obvious reasons, the main one being it was confusing.)

UOS isn't as challenging for Harrison, and that isn't a great thing, but it's not bad either... because we realized some things... UOS works better for Harrison because he has to check off an assignment before he is able to move on to the next one. So, no missed assignments or tests! It has also helped us notice there are some things that Harrison really struggles with for some reason. A big one being foreign language. Because our plan included him going to college, he was signed up for Spanish. That has been an interesting experience. One that has helped us learn that maybe college isn't on his immediate path. Originally we wanted him to almost or completely have his associate's degree earned by the time he graduated from high school. After this adventure, we learned that we needed to focus on what Harrison could do and would excel at.

So, the plan changed. Harrison loves to weld. Since he has only welded for about five hours tops when Shane was teaching him the basics, he will take a welding class when he goes to high school next year. Depending on how that class goes, he has the option of going to the local trade school and working on a welding certificate. If he does this, the high school will pay the tuition for the classes he takes at the trade school. Because he learns the online school topics pretty easily, he will have more time to take classes at the trade school. The more we discussed this, and thought about it, the more we realized that this would be a good way to go, if it's what Harrison wants. (At this point he does, and he has a natural knack for it.) As an added bonus, by the time he graduates he could have a welding certificate and the possibility of a decent paying job.

We anticipate that he will go on a mission close after he graduates from high school, and once he gets back from his mission, he could go on to college if he wanted to. He loves math and could possibly get a degree in manufacturing engineering with an emphasis in welding. If he didn't though, he would still have a job skill that would make enough money to provide for a family.

I have to tell you, that while this sounds pretty easy peasy and like we just magically came to it, it really wasn't that way. It was noticing that he was struggling with certain things, and then realizing that there may be an alternate path to achieving the same thing. It didn't help that there was a preconceived stigma to get over that Shane and I both had from high school. When I was in school there were two paths, trade school, or college. I wish we had been given a third option...trade school, college, or trade school/then college. Having a student graduate with a skill that would help put them through college!

So, it's an interesting path. We'll see how it all pans out. If it doesn't, there will always be a plan C. ;)

Parenting Adventures in ADHD

I think it's been a while since I wrote about dealing with ADHD and Harrison. A huge part of that, HUGE was when we decided to put him on medication when he was in fourth grade. I know as I write that, that some of you are shaking your heads in disgust, but it wasn't a decision that we made lightly. It was a total game changer for him, in a great way.

There are still things that we have to deal with though. Things that I have to remind myself that are different for him, because of the way he processes things and the way he learns. Some of these are because he's a boy, but some of them are because of his ADHD.

To those of you who think ADHD is a made up condition to appease parents.....to you I would say, it's easy to say that until you have a child with ADHD. And believe me, when they honestly truly have it, there is a difference between them and kids that don't.

For example, in school, he really struggles with knowing what is important to write down and what isn't. Sometimes these are things that other students would just naturally pick up on, kind of like noticing social norms, but for someone like Harrison, they are really difficult.

He has an English class, and I kept wondering why he didn't know what assignments were due or what he was supposed to be writing on, or the specifics of the reports he was supposed to be doing. I knew, because his teacher emails everybody, but I wondered why Harrison didn't know. Was he reading in class? Zoning out? Folding origami? No. No. No.  So, what then? After having a lengthy conversation with Harrison one morning, I told him I wanted details on what he did during a typical English class. It was then, that he told me that he usually went to the restroom during the last part of the class.

Bingo.

It was so clear to me, once he said that. Of course he didn't know what the assignments were, or what his teacher expected, or when they were due! He wasn't in the room to hear it! Maybe I'm wrong on this, but I think most kids would pick up on the fact that they didn't know what was due because they had decided to leave the classroom at the wrong time. It doesn't occur to Harrison to notice that. I had to suggest it to him and tell him that the end of class is usually when teachers are talking about assignments, due dates, expectations, etc... now that he knows....well, we'll see if it makes a difference.

Crossing the Bridge

It seems that whenever one problem is taken care of, another arises...or rather, another problem that was probably there all along, is now in the forefront demanding all of my attention.

I guess this ongoing problem has demanded my attention a lot more than I would admit, but it takes a backburner occasionally when I grow weary of trying to learn how to deal with it, when I feel like I have been trying everything in my power to figure it out (and many prayers for answers...)

I have two children, one of which is so extremely intelligent, but...also energetic, impulsive, and frustrating. All children can be frustrating, but I find an argumentative child tends to be a little more so.

I feel like I am writing in riddles, and I guess I apologize for that, but basically I am just beating around the bush. I think my son has ADHD. I never thought I would admit that. Well, I guess what I really thought I would never admit, is that I am seriously considering having him diagnosed so he can be put on medication.

The hyperactivity, while frustrating, I can deal with. The arguing we have been working on. The emotional, anger, temper outbursts, crying, frustration that he feels, we have also tried to work on through counseling, family time, etc...and is doable, but the impulsiveness seems to be more than I can handle. I'm not talking about simple little, typical curiosity type impulsiveness. His impulsiveness seems to thrive on doing things over and over that he KNOWS are wrong without worrying about the consequences. In a 3-6 year old this is fine. In a 7 year old maybe, but by the time they are 9 you know they know better and should be able to resist.

I feel like I constantly ask him, why did you do this? what thought did you have that made you want to do this? and the answer, inevitably is "I don't know." He even gets frustrated with himself, and gets upset. "I don't know! I don't know why I behave this way! I don't know why I am doing this!"

I never thought I would even consider the medication route. I thought that people who did just didn't want to deal with their child's problems, that there are so many other things to try. Well there are...and we've tried them. It has humbled me, that's for sure.

So here we are...finally crossing that bridge...