Plan B

Back in the beginning of the year, we had Harrison signed up for an online school called Mountain Heights Academy. It is a very academically rigorous school, and great if you have a student who wants to be intellectually challenged and prepared for college. The teachers are really great, and Harrison really liked all the teachers he had.

Harrison is very smart, but because of his ADHD he really struggles when things aren't step by step organized. In January we realized that Moutain Heights wasn't working for him and he was literally flunking out. So, we enrolled him in a school called Utah Online School (formerly called Washington Online, because the county it is based out of is Washington county in Utah. I think they changed it for obvious reasons, the main one being it was confusing.)

UOS isn't as challenging for Harrison, and that isn't a great thing, but it's not bad either... because we realized some things... UOS works better for Harrison because he has to check off an assignment before he is able to move on to the next one. So, no missed assignments or tests! It has also helped us notice there are some things that Harrison really struggles with for some reason. A big one being foreign language. Because our plan included him going to college, he was signed up for Spanish. That has been an interesting experience. One that has helped us learn that maybe college isn't on his immediate path. Originally we wanted him to almost or completely have his associate's degree earned by the time he graduated from high school. After this adventure, we learned that we needed to focus on what Harrison could do and would excel at.

So, the plan changed. Harrison loves to weld. Since he has only welded for about five hours tops when Shane was teaching him the basics, he will take a welding class when he goes to high school next year. Depending on how that class goes, he has the option of going to the local trade school and working on a welding certificate. If he does this, the high school will pay the tuition for the classes he takes at the trade school. Because he learns the online school topics pretty easily, he will have more time to take classes at the trade school. The more we discussed this, and thought about it, the more we realized that this would be a good way to go, if it's what Harrison wants. (At this point he does, and he has a natural knack for it.) As an added bonus, by the time he graduates he could have a welding certificate and the possibility of a decent paying job.

We anticipate that he will go on a mission close after he graduates from high school, and once he gets back from his mission, he could go on to college if he wanted to. He loves math and could possibly get a degree in manufacturing engineering with an emphasis in welding. If he didn't though, he would still have a job skill that would make enough money to provide for a family.

I have to tell you, that while this sounds pretty easy peasy and like we just magically came to it, it really wasn't that way. It was noticing that he was struggling with certain things, and then realizing that there may be an alternate path to achieving the same thing. It didn't help that there was a preconceived stigma to get over that Shane and I both had from high school. When I was in school there were two paths, trade school, or college. I wish we had been given a third option...trade school, college, or trade school/then college. Having a student graduate with a skill that would help put them through college!

So, it's an interesting path. We'll see how it all pans out. If it doesn't, there will always be a plan C. ;)

Legos

I have to admit that there are times when I feel a little sad that I've never taken my kids to Disneyland. Silly, isn't it? What a first world problem! My kids have never complained. They've never been like, well, when are WE going to get to go?

Of course we'd love to take them. It seems like whenever we decide to make the plan, something big and crazy happens, and we never get to the point where we can even think about saving for it.

So, I asked Hazel one time, if she felt sad that she'd never been to Disneyland. She thought a moment, and then told me, no, but I would really really like to go to Legoland! I told her that it was geared to smaller kids...is that still her dream? Yes, mom. Legoland. Harrison gave the same response and he is 15. I even told him that some of the rides he would be too big to go on. No biggie. They just want to SEE it.

I don't know why this just made me smile, but it did. Most kids dream of going to Disneyland, our kids dream of Legoland.

There you go. :)

Time

It's been a while since I last posted on here. Life has been busy! My two littles are like energetic puppies. I was raised with five brothers, so I am familiar with boys, but man, these two...they make me tired just watching them! Crawling, jumping, climbing, tumbling, tugging, pulling, in, out, up, through...and don't forget the wrestling! Constant wrestling! I'm surprised one of them hasn't gotten injured or broken a bone yet. (cross fingers it doesn't happen any time soon!!)

Harrison has now been busy doing his online school/regular school mix for a few months, and I think he is really enjoying it. It seems to be a good mix for him. He is doing really well keeping up with his online school work, and he works very hard and diligently at it. Then he has orchestra at the regular school, and seminary, and he is really enjoying those too. It makes me happy to see him liking school and doing great at it.

Hazel we are still trying to help her catch up, but she is getting there. I am glad she has the teacher she does. I really like her, and she does a good job, and she is very understanding and empathetic to Hazel's needs. It's just right for Hazel.

Jeffrey, boy Jeffrey has just done a total turn around! He is talking more, interacting in conversations, wants to read books, count, say colors, it is just thrilling and amazing and makes my heart happy! The doctor checked out his ears and throat the other day, and Jeffrey interacted with him! Our pediatrician always makes little bird chirps when he looks in little kids' ears and when he did it this time, Jeffrey looked at him and said, "There's a BIRD in my EAR!!!" It was so cute! It makes me smile just writing it!

Emmett is so super smart! He already counts to ten. I'm sure he doesn't understand the significence of it yet, but it just amazes me that he does it! He also recognizes a few sight words (very few) and letters. He's just fun, and crazy! I love him though. I love them all. It's not that it's super easy and all just smooth sailing, but being a parent is very rewarding.

So, now onto the other stuff...

I have a growth on my jawline. I know. Eww.. I had it checked today by a surgeon, and it will need to be removed. So, there may be a small surgery in my future. My doctor said it looked like a sebaceous cyst. The reason it needs to be removed is it has grown like crazy the last six months, from being the size of a pencil tip eraser, to more like a big marble (the big steelys). It's also infected and not a happy sebaceous cyst, which also points towards it needing to be removed. I'm supposed to have an ultrasound on it so they can see all the structures and make sure it doesn't involve any facial nerves, large blood vessels, etc... so, hopefully that will be all okay and no problemo... praying for good outcomes on that one.

There are other intriguing things going on that I can't write about yet. So...I may write about it next time. We'll see.

School is in session...kind of...

Hazel started school this week. This is a week earlier than they started last year, and last year they started a week earlier than the year before that. So...yeah. Still, they get out for summer about a week before everyone else. BEFORE memorial day so that will be new for us.

Harrison's main school starts on Wednesday next week, and then the school he takes orchestra at and seminary will start on the 31st. He's actually been working on one of the classes this week because it is self paced and if he can get it completed before the school semester starts he won't have to do work from that class because it will already be passed off.

Jeffrey starts preschool on the 31st. His teacher came to visit just to meet him. He hid behind the recliner. That's his spot. His teacher from the year before came too, and she mentioned to me that he also had a spot in the classroom that he liked to go to. I guess he likes to have a safe spot where he feels in control. :) He will be going to school four days this year. If it is too overwhelming for him they will back it down to three and then try to get it up to four. I really didn't ever want him to start kindergarten right after he turned five, because he would be the youngest in the grade. I just didn't think that would be a good thing. I still don't. I am going to use all my parental power to have him go to preschool another year.

I was pretty impressed that all the kid's school holidays are pretty evenly lined up except for spring break. Harrison's main school is off for spring break one week before the other schools in our family. Still, we may be able to work it so he does his school work that week and then takes the next week off when his orchestra and seminary will be having spring break. That's the cool thing about online school.

It's going to be a busy year!

Summer is Here!

School is out. At least for my kids. Seems kind of weird since the district we live in doesn't get out for another week. :)

I decided once again that our summer would be a little more structured than it has in the past. We'll see if I am successful at achieving this! I told the older kids that I thought it would be good to set some goals so that we would have something to work toward. They liked that idea, so hopefully it will be a good motivator.

Basically the morning will be filled with doing chores for the day and working on the goals, which for both my older kids includes practicing music. The goal setting begins today. I would also like to have a wake up time. Not super early, I mean, it IS summer and I don't want to totally kill their fun, but if I let her, Hazel would sleep in until 10:30 every day.

The other thing we need to work on is getting things ready for Harrison to do online school. Of course he is already registered, it's just making sure he has a space that is suitable for doing school work. I know that they say they can do it "anywhere" but it seems in our family, that if there is  specific place set aside to work on schoolwork it just seems to go better.

At the very least I would like my kids to work on practicing their instruments. This one is especially crucial for Harrison since he hurt his wrist in February and is just now getting to the point where he can start working with it again. He's lost a lot of muscle and wrist control in his bow hand, so hopefully he can gain some of it back.

Of course it's important for Hazel too. She has a lot of building blocks she needs to work on. We'll see how that goes. She doesn't like having me for a teacher. Lol. I really have to be more aware of her frustration triggers when I teach her.

So, 1, 2, 3, here we go!

Time Goes By

There has been a lot on my mind lately. So many things, that I honestly don't think that I could just pinpoint it down to one thing. Still, every time I would come to my blog and think I should write something, it just wouldn't happen. Either I was too emotional and the words wouldn't come right, or I would have some kind of just, blank, where there was literally nothing that I wanted to write about.

I have this desire to write something profound, and yet, it's just not there right now.

Then, today I noticed that it has been almost a month since I had posted on here, so regardless of my mindset and feelings, I figured it was time to just write something.

The school year is winding quickly down to an end. Harrison will be leaving the charter school this year, and that just blows me away. If things were now the way they were when I was 14, he would be starting high school. As it is, he will be in high school at his online school, and middle school for his orchestra and seminary classes.

That's the other good thing. Everything is all worked out so he can be in orchestra! YES!

I hope it will be  a good experience all around, and I have a feeling it will.

Hazel will be at the charter school still. I briefly talked to her about whether she wanted to go to the intermediate school next year, but she told me no. I like the charter school, so that doesn't bother me at all.

Jeffrey will still be going to the Early Learning Center next year. That's another thing that I just don't think about. In some ways, I can't think about it, because at this point there isn't a whole lot I can do, and the options just aren't there.

Jeffrey qualifies for the ELC which means he has some learning concerns. I guess what I mean by that, is he has some autistic leanings and his behavior is a big part of why he qualifies. I know that they have been working really hard with him on being more willing to listen to the teacher and be with the group. He is much more content playing on his own and doing his own thing and he doesn't like to cooperate. I know people don't really understand that unless they are around him.

When I first tell people that, they just look at me and sometimes say, "Well, he's three, all three year old's act like that." They're right, it is a common behavior with a three year old, however, there's a range of "normalcy" and he definitely falls to the more defiant/autistic side, many times to the point where he will not cooperate no matter what and then will have a mega meltdown. A lot of this behavior has improved, but it is still there. It definitely acts up when his routine is changed. So, we try to prepare him when we are going on trips, or church, or anything. Sometimes it helps. A lot of times it doesn't.

Anyway, Jeffrey's birthday falls within the school year deadline by a week or so. As soon as he was born I always planned on not sending him to kindergarten until he turned six. I just felt like it would be a better thing. I didn't want him being the youngest in his grade. Well, since he is going to the ELC and it is run by the school district, if I want him to continue getting speech therapy and other services, I would have to send him to kindergarten when he turns five. He can't go to the ELC for three years. So, it is a trick to try and figure out what the best thing for him will be, and whether it would be better to have him in a regular preschool for a year when he is five and then put him back into school when he turns six. I also don't know if it would be better to put him in regular public school or the charter school. I know they have speech therapy and special ed at the charter school, but I don't know how good it is. I guess we will just have to see! It is also about that time that we will have to decide if we want him tested for autism or not. Something to look forward to figuring out!

So, at this point I am just trying to take it a day at a time. Don't sweat the small stuff. Look at the bigger picture. Be positive and don't focus on all the dark unknowns.

Most of the time I can do this. :)

My CMT has been really acting up the past month. Where my fingers were just super mildy numb... it has gotten worse. (No guys, it's not carpal tunnel syndrome. In fact, if I had that surgery done, it would make my condition a million times worse.) I have a harder time keeping a grip on things. I've been dropping things a lot. Of course, my feet have been affected as well. I have been tripping more and losing my balance. It's a little disconcerting at times, and I just have to breathe and be glad at the things that I can do.

I did get my flowers all planted though, and I'm glad that I did. They are so pretty and beautiful and it just makes me smile to see them. I planted geraniums in my window boxes. Geraniums were just meant for window boxes! They love it! I love it too. I love opening my blinds and seeing these big beautiful blooms of color with gorgeous green leaves. It just starts me off on having a good day.

It is what it is...

Well, a new adventure awaits us this fall. Harrison will be in 9th grade, and decided he wanted to be homeschooled again. I guess, depending on how things work out, we might try to get him enrolled in the charter high school, but it is about 25 minutes away, and yeah...

He really really really doesn't want to go to public school. Considering his past adventures in that arena, I can't say that I blame him really. Maybe I'm paranoid, but all I see is him getting beat up and not realizing his potential. He's a really smart person intellectually, but like most kids with ADHD he still struggles with social norms.

I know, you're probably thinking that if I take him away from the school environment, won't he miss out on getting used to social norms? I really don't think so. After seeing how Harrison has progressed in the charter school, which has been awesome, versus the other kids that have been going to public school, and the kids in our neighborhood who are home schooled, I would say he behaves more like the home schooled kids. Not in the social norm arena, but in the, I'm not too worried about peer pressure and being "cool" and "liked" and changing myself so I fit in arena.

Anyway...

Once again, I have had to deal with people telling me why they think what we are planning to do is wrong.

I find this so strange and bizarre. Why do people really think that it's any of their business? Am I abusing my child? No. Am I neglecting him? No. If anything I am trying to prevent both of those things.

Personally I find it to be a very old way of thinking. The, "public school is the only way a child should be taught" way of thinking. I find it wonderfully amazing at all the options kids have available these days that we didn't have when I was growing up.

Harrison is signed up for an online charter school that has some of the best rates in the state. He has the ability to take college classes when he's a junior, just like any other public school student. I find that wonderful! He could almost or completely have his associate's degree earned by the time he graduates from high school, if he wants.

Aside from that, he will also be taking orchestra at the middle school, and seminary, and he will still be in the youth chamber orchestra. Plus, because he is going to be doing the bulk of his schooling at home, he can be in seminary the whole school year, and he can take orchestra the whole school year. I think that is really cool.

If we want we can even become involved with the local home school groups that get together for outings once a week. It may be every other week...I can't remember. Still, he will have seminary, church, scouts, youth chamber orchestra, and orchestra, I think his social needs will be more than met!

For some reason there is this stigma and idea that if you don't learn how to deal with all the negative awful social things while your teenage brain is still developing and you are still trying to figure out yourself, that you just won't succeed in life. Really? Really?!

I also keep thinking, whether or not someone agrees doesn't matter. As long as we are okay with it, he's going to get a high school diploma, and be ready for college, what difference does it make in how that is achieved?

Plus, if we find out that it's not working out so great, we have other options.

To me, it's all win, win, win, win, win. There it is.

Hanging On

I'm ready for all my kids to be healthy at the same time...okay, I'm ready for everyone to be healthy at the same time!

It has been a roller coaster of illness around here, but thankfully, none of it has been influenza.

Emmett has still been grumpy, especially since his antibiotic ran out, which made me wonder if he needed to be seen again.

Then Harrison woke up this morning and told me it hurt really bad when he breathed in an out. Yay!

I didn't think it was anything super serious, but when your 14 year old is telling you the pain level is an 8 or 9 when they are laying down, you begin to wonder what is going on.

When Shane came home, he wondered if maybe Harrison needed to have his back adjusted, but the pain was coming in waves, so I wondered.

In the end, I ended up taking him to the doctor Shane and I go to, since the pediatrician was 100% booked, and he would have to be seen in the night clinic. I didn't want to wait that long.

Our doctor thought he might have pleurisy, which is an inflammation of the lining of the lung. He prescribed him prednisone, which is a steroid. Common practice.

So, we went and got the prescription filled. Since you are supposed to take it with food, we stopped at home and got some food to eat. I guess the pills look like chewables because Harrison chewed the pill. Blech! Of course that worried me because I knew you weren't supposed to chew them, so I called the pharmacist and found out that although super nasty tasting, it shouldn't be harmful (although he didn't recommend chewing them anymore...lol).

Anyway, then I had a few errands to run, and then the thought occurred to me that I should take Harrison to our chiropractor and just make sure that there wasn't a rib out that was causing the pain.

Off to the chiropractor we went. Nothing was out on the front, but when he had Harrison turn over, there was a rib out. So, he adjusted him, did another adjustment, and presto change-o, the pain was immediately gone.

Since we were there, the chiropractor adjusted Emmett too, so hopefully his ear will drain and he will be happy again! After he got adjusted and we were back in the car, Emmett was humming in the back seat. I think because he could hear again!

After this experience I always think to myself, why didn't I start at the chiropractor and go from there?! It would have saved me money. Oh well.

Follow Up

A few days after the ER visit, I took Emmett to his follow up with our pediatrician. I had all the kids with me, and Harrison was still having an extremely bad sore throat, so when the doctor asked how everyone was doing, I told him about Harrison and how he still wasn't doing better.

Here is what I found out:

The doctor told me that teenagers can get a micoplasma infection that can cause a severe sore throat that won't go away. So he put Harrison on a zpac. Before he was even finished with the antibiotic (that you only take for five days) his sore throat was completely gone. Hallelujah! To be honest, I questioned the other doctor's assessment that Harrison might have mono, for the main reason that he just wasn't tired enough. With mono, it doesn't matter if you want to be awake, you seriously just sleep, all day and night, and it still isn't enough.

Anyway, glad that was taken care of.

Now on to Emmett.

When I saw Emmett's xray it looked very similar to the xray he ended up with last year when they told me he also had pneumonia, and then the pediatrician really felt like he had RSV because of what the xray looked like.

Well, we knew he didn't have RSV because that test came back negative, but when our doctor listened to Emmett's lungs at his appointment three days later, they sounded clear. Based on the xray, he felt that Emmett had a different virus, that is actually worse than RSV, but shows up on an xray as very similar to RSV. So, we are very blessed that it didn't affect his breathing worse and have to be hospitalized.

By the time he had his follow up appointment, the retracted breathing was all gone, and his respirations per minute were back to normal. So, those are all really good things.

Even though he ended up probably not needing to go to the ER, I am still glad that I took him. I always feel like the ER is a double edged sword. You don't want anything to be really wrong, but when it is, you feel justified for making the trip...but you hate that something was wrong. If nothing is wrong, that is wonderful, but you feel like you just wasted a ton of money going to the ER.

In Emmett's case though, he really was sick, and how bad would I have felt if I didn't go and he ended up not breathing and dying because I was too stubborn to take him in? Yep, I would much rather pay the ER bill and have peace of mind in knowing that I did everything I could as a parent to help him be as healthy as possible.

A whole lot of crazy going on...

So, this last week has kind of been a blur, and this next week, is kind of starting out as a blur. A blur of coping. Seriously.

Last week, Harrison was diagnosed with mono. Yay. I feel bad for the kid. Although, I think as far as mono goes, he has a pretty mild case, thank goodness.

We went and talked to our financial advisor, and had a good meeting. Of course, this meeting took place on the same day as the day that Harrison informed me that his throat hurt bad enough that he didn't think he'd be able to concentrate in school.

So, that was fun.

Then, because his throat hurt bad enough, the pediatrician said that he felt that Harrison should stay home for the rest of the week. Which, he's old enough, so as far as that goes, not a big deal. Still, I always get a little anxiety when my kids miss school, because I always worry about the work that they are going to have to make up.

About the same time, Emmett started having a cough. The cough started to gradually get worse, but nothing big. Nothing big enough to cause me concern, but merely hope that it didn't turn into croup. Well, fast forward to today. Last night, I started noticing that Emmett was retracting while he breathed (in other words, when he breathed the muscles in between his ribs sucked in.) He was starting to use his whole stomach to breathe. Of course this concerned me, but he didn't seem to be struggling, he wasn't coughing THAT bad, and he was happy, energetic, and like his usual little self. I thought, hmm, maybe his cold is getting worse...I hope it doesn't turn croupy.

Well...last night, he woke up and had a coughing fit. I almost took him to the E R right then. I still wondered if it was croup though, so we tried sitting in the bathroom with him while the shower was on hot and steamy. It didn't help really. Maybe a little.

Shane gave him a blessing and I felt ok about waiting until the morning. He had stopped wheezing, and it seemed like his breathing had calmed down.

Well, Hazel and I went to church in the morning, and Shane stayed home with the boys. I kept feeling uneasy about Emmett, so we left a little early and came home. I called the pediatrician and then waited to hear back from him. By this time, Emmett had a little mild grunt at the end of each breath, but still, he was running around, playing with his toys, not lethargic in any way shape or form. I looked at his ribs, and the retraction was worse, plus the little grunts...

The pediatrician called back and recommended giving him a nebulizer treatment. Emmett's respirations were at 42 breaths per minute, which is higher than they like, so he told us to count his respirations again 10 minutes after the treatment and if they were 40 or higher he wanted us to call him again. Well, ten minutes after he was at 42 breaths per minute, 20  minutes after he was at 48. So, we called the pediatrician again. When he called back, we talked for a few minutes, and then told me that his main concern was that Emmett wasn't getting enough oxygen and possibly becoming hypoxic. So, I took him to the ER. (We have a pulse oximeter, which is probably one of the best things we have ever bought, but Emmett is too little for it to read on him.)

At the ER his oxygen level was okay. 90/91. That's not great, but usually if it's sitting at 90 they are okay with that unless it appears like the child is struggling to breathe. After evaluating him, they discovered that he has an ear infection, and after an x ray found out that he has pneumonia. The RSV test came back negative.

Sometimes when a child gets pneumonia they will hospitalize them, but because Emmett was doing well, they felt good about sending him home and giving him an antibiotic, and having us give him breathing treatments.

So, hopefully Emmett will improve. He supposed to be seen about Tuesday or Wednesday as a follow up.

I am so grateful that he is okay enough that he doesn't have to be in the hospital.

Parenting Adventures in ADHD

I think it's been a while since I wrote about dealing with ADHD and Harrison. A huge part of that, HUGE was when we decided to put him on medication when he was in fourth grade. I know as I write that, that some of you are shaking your heads in disgust, but it wasn't a decision that we made lightly. It was a total game changer for him, in a great way.

There are still things that we have to deal with though. Things that I have to remind myself that are different for him, because of the way he processes things and the way he learns. Some of these are because he's a boy, but some of them are because of his ADHD.

To those of you who think ADHD is a made up condition to appease parents.....to you I would say, it's easy to say that until you have a child with ADHD. And believe me, when they honestly truly have it, there is a difference between them and kids that don't.

For example, in school, he really struggles with knowing what is important to write down and what isn't. Sometimes these are things that other students would just naturally pick up on, kind of like noticing social norms, but for someone like Harrison, they are really difficult.

He has an English class, and I kept wondering why he didn't know what assignments were due or what he was supposed to be writing on, or the specifics of the reports he was supposed to be doing. I knew, because his teacher emails everybody, but I wondered why Harrison didn't know. Was he reading in class? Zoning out? Folding origami? No. No. No.  So, what then? After having a lengthy conversation with Harrison one morning, I told him I wanted details on what he did during a typical English class. It was then, that he told me that he usually went to the restroom during the last part of the class.

Bingo.

It was so clear to me, once he said that. Of course he didn't know what the assignments were, or what his teacher expected, or when they were due! He wasn't in the room to hear it! Maybe I'm wrong on this, but I think most kids would pick up on the fact that they didn't know what was due because they had decided to leave the classroom at the wrong time. It doesn't occur to Harrison to notice that. I had to suggest it to him and tell him that the end of class is usually when teachers are talking about assignments, due dates, expectations, etc... now that he knows....well, we'll see if it makes a difference.

Growing Up

I think I have been slacking in the kid information department for a while. This is probably because I write the most stuff about them in my hard copy journal, and all the funny things they do I write on facebook, so I forget to write about it on here.

Harrison is getting ready to have a birthday. It's hard to believe that he is turning 14. That just makes me feel really old! Still, he has accomplished a lot. He started playing the viola in 5th grade. If I had been on top of things, I would have helped him practice and given him musicianship lessons. He would be a lot farther a long. :) Still, he is doing really well. This summer I worked really hard with him to achieve his goal of being in the the local youth chamber orchestra, and he made it in. It has been a lot of work for him, but he really enjoys it, and it is so cool to hear him play and becoming a good viola player.

He is also amazing at building things with his legos and bionicles. When he first gets a set he will follow the instructions and build the set, but after that....his brain is his set of instructions. He has built some pretty amazing things, just by looking at the pieces and then deciding what he wants to make. This first started when he was four and built a tyrannasaurus rex out of his duplo blocks.

I keep hoping that he continues to be the great son that he is. In many ways it is very spoiling for me because he is such a good teenager. Like all teenagers he has his days, but for the most part I can't complain.

It is interesting to look at his baby pictures and see how much Emmett looks like him. There are a few pictures where he looks like Jeffrey. This is especially interesting because everyone, on both sides of the family thought Emmett was his own look and didn't look anything like any of the other kids. I always just thought you could see more of my side of the family in him, where the other kids just looked a lot like Shane's side of the family.

Black is black...

Well, apparently I spoke too soon. I received a call at work (I was the "helper" tech or the person who basically runs around and does whatever anyone needs them to. Where I work it is called "floating.") anwyay, since I was floating I was able to take the call.

It was Harrison's principal, letting me know about some of the behavior that Harrison has been exhibiting at school today and yesterday. Yesterday the principal gave a warning to the 1st and 4th grade classes, just in general, and let them know that if they did the same thing again, she would call their parents. Well...Harrison and two other boys (who were 1st graders) did the same thing today, so she called me to let me know.

While I was somewhat irritated with Harrison's behavior, I was impressed with the principal's way of handling it. She told me that she didn't know WHO was the instigator, but it didn't matter because they were ALL taking part. Nice! I mean that it a very good way. I was glad that it wasn't just pinpointed to WHO started it, but rather, the fact that they were all in trouble because they all did it.

So, I had to call Shane and let him know, because I was at work, and on call, and I knew that I would either FORGET or not be able to deal with it in a timely matter. Shane was about as happy as I was when he found out.

Then when he talked to Harrison and asked him how his day had gone Harrison told him that it was pretty good and that he stayed on green. This is technically true, because his teacher didn't have him pull his card. Shane had to explain to him that even though he didn't get a card pulled, having the principal call home means he was doing BLACK BEHAVIOR! I agreed.

So, now I have to decide on a consequence. Shane told me that when he talked to Harrison he was too upset to really talk to him for very long, and I'm guessing the consequence didn't get discussed. At this point in time I'm about to tell him that he will have to go pick up rocks in the garden for one hour for a week after school! Hmm...that consequence is sounding better all the time... :)

Green is Great!

So, the kiddos have been back to school for a whole month now. It never ceases to amaze me how the time seems to fly by.

When Harrison left public school to be homeschooled a few years ago, things had reached a very low and frustrating level. I still remember him being in Kindergarted and 1st grade and having him NEVER stay on GREEN, EVER. I had come to think of the pullcard system as stupid and not effective (at least not for him).

We would get called all the time. He would see the principal ALL THE TIME, and nothing mattered. Then in 1st grade a bully was thrown into the mix, and it just got worse.

So, fast-forward to now. I guess there are a few things...he is more mature. He is in 4th grade, which I guess is a "turning point" grade for a lot of kids. As a parent I took a more pro-active route and talked to Harrison's principal and teacher BEFORE he even started school there.

This year, so far, he has been on green more than the other colors. There was a week where he was being impulsive, and got on yellow and one red, but we talked about his behavior, and then after that...green!

Part of me feels like I am in the twilight zone because it is SO DIFFERENT from prior years.

Hopefully it is a sign of good things yet to come!

Not Ready

An interesting thing has happened. Something that I didn't think I would have to deal with for at least a few more years...

Harrison has started going through puberty. He's nine. NINE! So, since it is on the edge of being very young to be going through puberty for a boy, I took him to the doctor, just to be safe. The doctor felt like everything was okay at this point, but there were a few things he wanted me to watch for, and he did want to do a follow-up visit in August just to make sure.

I had no idea that it was considered "normal" for boys to start going through puberty from 9-12 years of age. I'd always thought of 12 as the normal age.

I guess on the plus side it FORCED me to talk to him about puberty, which I had been meaning to do, but just hadn't, and now I have. I don't know that it helped though. He told me he "didn't get it," and was "confused" and quite understandably, a little embarrassed about the whole thing. I didn't force the issue, but did make sure that he felt comfortable about asking me any questions later if he thought of any.

I think he was probably wondering mainly why his body was changing. So, I tried to explain that, but again, don't know if it helped all that much.

*sigh* I have to agree with my hubby though, I do not feel old enough to have a child going through puberty already! bah!

Crossing the Bridge

It seems that whenever one problem is taken care of, another arises...or rather, another problem that was probably there all along, is now in the forefront demanding all of my attention.

I guess this ongoing problem has demanded my attention a lot more than I would admit, but it takes a backburner occasionally when I grow weary of trying to learn how to deal with it, when I feel like I have been trying everything in my power to figure it out (and many prayers for answers...)

I have two children, one of which is so extremely intelligent, but...also energetic, impulsive, and frustrating. All children can be frustrating, but I find an argumentative child tends to be a little more so.

I feel like I am writing in riddles, and I guess I apologize for that, but basically I am just beating around the bush. I think my son has ADHD. I never thought I would admit that. Well, I guess what I really thought I would never admit, is that I am seriously considering having him diagnosed so he can be put on medication.

The hyperactivity, while frustrating, I can deal with. The arguing we have been working on. The emotional, anger, temper outbursts, crying, frustration that he feels, we have also tried to work on through counseling, family time, etc...and is doable, but the impulsiveness seems to be more than I can handle. I'm not talking about simple little, typical curiosity type impulsiveness. His impulsiveness seems to thrive on doing things over and over that he KNOWS are wrong without worrying about the consequences. In a 3-6 year old this is fine. In a 7 year old maybe, but by the time they are 9 you know they know better and should be able to resist.

I feel like I constantly ask him, why did you do this? what thought did you have that made you want to do this? and the answer, inevitably is "I don't know." He even gets frustrated with himself, and gets upset. "I don't know! I don't know why I behave this way! I don't know why I am doing this!"

I never thought I would even consider the medication route. I thought that people who did just didn't want to deal with their child's problems, that there are so many other things to try. Well there are...and we've tried them. It has humbled me, that's for sure.

So here we are...finally crossing that bridge...

wondering

Being a parent is hard. Sometimes I wonder if I do a very good job at it at all. My husband is quite convinced that I do, but sometimes I wonder. I wonder if I would be able to handle it if I had more than two kids. Even two kids is difficult!

I'm not supermom. I don't do all the wonderful amazing things my friends do with their kids. I think about it, and then it just doesn't happen.

I have to remind myself that every family is different. In our family we tend to focus on reading, drawing, legos, building, things like that. We aren't particularly artsy/crafty, activity, people. Even though I like those things a lot.

All kids have quirks that you have to work to parent through. Some of their quirks seem more difficult for me than other quirks. I guess in my naive mind I always thought it would be kind of hard dealing with small kids, and then when they turned into teenagers it would be especially difficult...but I never thought I would be agonizing over how to teach my 9 year old how to not give in to impulsive ideas...just because. He has a tendency to do that a lot. To go against anything that I tell him, just because. There's not a definite reason. It's just because.

We had a talk about that today. I made him feel bad. I didn't even yell at him, which for me is big. I've been trying really hard to work on that. I was given the suggestion to start doing role playing with him, to help him start thinking things through. It's a good idea and one that I think I will start implementing.

Today he was playing outside with his sister. I was inside. I went to check on them. They weren't in the yard. They weren't on the sidewalk, they weren't within viewing distance. I started calling for them. NOTHING. I was a little nervous as I wondered what to do. Then I glanced down the street...there they were. TALKING to construction workers who were doing some sidewalk work on our street.

This is me...NOT HAPPY AT ALL! Still, I remained calm. Then Harrison and I discussed all the things that could have happened. Why I was not happy with the choice that he made. Why I tell him certain things and give him certain rules.

Sometimes I wonder if he will ever listen to me! Maybe when he is married and has kids of his own...;)

Lots of things...

So, last week I wanted to write about what we were going to do really badly...but I refrained. Mainly because it's better to write about something AFTER you've done it rather than before.

We went on a little mini family vacation. We knew a big vacation was never going to happen but then had the idea that we could still take a mini vacation, stay in a hotel and go see the sites and attractions there.

The kids LOVED it. They had so much fun. I asked Harrison what his favorite part was, and he told me swimming at the hotel, and going to Outback Steakhouse. I was kind of surprised about the restaurant even though we went there because Harrison really really wanted to. We bought a city pass for the area which gave us access to almost every museum and zoo in the city. Shane even kept track of how much we would have spent for tickets if we hadn't bought the city pass and figured that we saved about $160. So that paid for the hotel and some of the souvenirs that we got.

The day after we got back was Saturday. Easter weekend and General Conference. We had two Easter egg hunts to go to, and then Sunday we went to Shane's parents' house. At the end of our time there Harrison stepped on a nail that was sticking out of a board while he was out exploring.

After talking on the phone to the pediatrician it was decided that we needed to go to the ER. Boy was THAT fun. They irrigated his foot. I think everyone in that side of the hospital was aware that Harrison DID NOT like or appreciate what they were doing. It was difficult, but at least Shane was there to help. Part of me wonders if I should have insisted that they numb his foot beforehand. He probably would have screamed anyway, but probably not as much. I felt bad for him.