Time Goes By

There has been a lot on my mind lately. So many things, that I honestly don't think that I could just pinpoint it down to one thing. Still, every time I would come to my blog and think I should write something, it just wouldn't happen. Either I was too emotional and the words wouldn't come right, or I would have some kind of just, blank, where there was literally nothing that I wanted to write about.

I have this desire to write something profound, and yet, it's just not there right now.

Then, today I noticed that it has been almost a month since I had posted on here, so regardless of my mindset and feelings, I figured it was time to just write something.

The school year is winding quickly down to an end. Harrison will be leaving the charter school this year, and that just blows me away. If things were now the way they were when I was 14, he would be starting high school. As it is, he will be in high school at his online school, and middle school for his orchestra and seminary classes.

That's the other good thing. Everything is all worked out so he can be in orchestra! YES!

I hope it will be  a good experience all around, and I have a feeling it will.

Hazel will be at the charter school still. I briefly talked to her about whether she wanted to go to the intermediate school next year, but she told me no. I like the charter school, so that doesn't bother me at all.

Jeffrey will still be going to the Early Learning Center next year. That's another thing that I just don't think about. In some ways, I can't think about it, because at this point there isn't a whole lot I can do, and the options just aren't there.

Jeffrey qualifies for the ELC which means he has some learning concerns. I guess what I mean by that, is he has some autistic leanings and his behavior is a big part of why he qualifies. I know that they have been working really hard with him on being more willing to listen to the teacher and be with the group. He is much more content playing on his own and doing his own thing and he doesn't like to cooperate. I know people don't really understand that unless they are around him.

When I first tell people that, they just look at me and sometimes say, "Well, he's three, all three year old's act like that." They're right, it is a common behavior with a three year old, however, there's a range of "normalcy" and he definitely falls to the more defiant/autistic side, many times to the point where he will not cooperate no matter what and then will have a mega meltdown. A lot of this behavior has improved, but it is still there. It definitely acts up when his routine is changed. So, we try to prepare him when we are going on trips, or church, or anything. Sometimes it helps. A lot of times it doesn't.

Anyway, Jeffrey's birthday falls within the school year deadline by a week or so. As soon as he was born I always planned on not sending him to kindergarten until he turned six. I just felt like it would be a better thing. I didn't want him being the youngest in his grade. Well, since he is going to the ELC and it is run by the school district, if I want him to continue getting speech therapy and other services, I would have to send him to kindergarten when he turns five. He can't go to the ELC for three years. So, it is a trick to try and figure out what the best thing for him will be, and whether it would be better to have him in a regular preschool for a year when he is five and then put him back into school when he turns six. I also don't know if it would be better to put him in regular public school or the charter school. I know they have speech therapy and special ed at the charter school, but I don't know how good it is. I guess we will just have to see! It is also about that time that we will have to decide if we want him tested for autism or not. Something to look forward to figuring out!

So, at this point I am just trying to take it a day at a time. Don't sweat the small stuff. Look at the bigger picture. Be positive and don't focus on all the dark unknowns.

Most of the time I can do this. :)

My CMT has been really acting up the past month. Where my fingers were just super mildy numb... it has gotten worse. (No guys, it's not carpal tunnel syndrome. In fact, if I had that surgery done, it would make my condition a million times worse.) I have a harder time keeping a grip on things. I've been dropping things a lot. Of course, my feet have been affected as well. I have been tripping more and losing my balance. It's a little disconcerting at times, and I just have to breathe and be glad at the things that I can do.

I did get my flowers all planted though, and I'm glad that I did. They are so pretty and beautiful and it just makes me smile to see them. I planted geraniums in my window boxes. Geraniums were just meant for window boxes! They love it! I love it too. I love opening my blinds and seeing these big beautiful blooms of color with gorgeous green leaves. It just starts me off on having a good day.