Do Not Despair

It has been an interesting week for me. I have always been prone to seeing the dark side of life, getting overwhelmed, and other negative things. This week, as I have tried to be more spiritual, has also seen an intensity in the negative emotions. I can only think and believe, it is because I am trying to do something good, that this has happened.

The desire to give up, to not try, to just let it be, has been so enormous. Of course being a mom and wife is hard. Just being a good person is hard. This week has seemed to be even more so. Yesterday was crazy as I tried to take care of my family. Dealing with a child that has to have tests done to make sure that they don't have appendicitis, and then dealing with what is really going on.

I felt my self going down. To top it off, my house was a total disaster. I tend to be one who likes things neat and orderly, but most of the time I stuff that inclination down for the peace of my family. When I am already feeling down, it makes it amplified that our house is not the cleanest or most organized one on the block. Which, honestly, I really don't care about. I just feel more peaceful when things are clean and in order.

Then came today. After a week of interrupted sleep, today reared it's ugly head, and I had no desire to deal with today. In desperation I looked up a talk on lds.org and found this gem:

It was exactly what I needed to hear! I even read along with it. Not only did it provide the balm that I needed for my soul. It provided things to do, steps to take, goals to have and create! What an inspiration! I found myself filled with a desire to do better, and the darkness has abated again.

There are scripture references in the text. You can find them in the talk here: http://www.lds.org/general-conference/1974/10/do-not-despair

The day has become a joy again. A challenge to become greater as I serve my family and friends. I can do this!