Change

Change can be good, like adding a new member to your family, a new job, a new house, a new school... change can be painful...

When the change is painful, a lot of times, well for me anyway, I enter a period where I have to really reflect and think about things. I think about my life, where I'm at, what I believe, where I'm going, and how I want to get there.

In this case, painful change has made me renew commitments, take stock of my family life, review how I am parenting and how I want things to be in the future, and also where I feel I am at in a more religious sense. Thinking about my religion and what it means to me has been a huge thing on my mind for about three months now. What I believe, what I need to work on, things that need to be worked on better...

For a long time I think I thought I was a pretty open minded person.... meaning, that people may think things or believe things that I don't agree with, but that's their right, and I can respect that, even if at times I think they are crazy for thinking or believing some of the things they do. I always figured they might feel that way about me too, so it all evens out.

These past few months have helped me realize that it's much easier to be open minded, when the other person isn't attacking you for what you believe. It's much easier to be easy going when the other person will let you agree to disagree and leave it at that. It's much easier to get along with someone when you have a mutual respect for each other and you know that even if you don't agree, they will be honest with you and still treat you with respect.

Shane and I had a huge change rock our world the beginning of January. It involved/involves a family member. It's been a very sad, and difficult situation to deal with. When it first happened, I dealt with it the way I deal with most things that involve things I don't agree with or think are right, I just thought, well, they have the right to believe and do what they want. Okay. So be it.

As time has progressed though, this person won't let it go. They won't agree to disagree. They want respect and acceptance from everyone else, but are unwilling to give the same treatment back. They want to attack and argue everything we believe. They basically get some sadistic thrill out of making people feel uncomfortable and then lying about their intentions.

It makes it hard to trust them.

Here is what it has taught me though...

They may not believe in the Savior anymore, but I do. They may think that Joseph Smith was a fraud, but I know he wasn't. They might think that the Book of Mormon is false, but I know it is the word of God, and is an additional testament of Jesus Christ. He may not think the Holy Ghost exists, but I've had too many experiences letting me know otherwise. He may not believe in angels or miracles but I've had too many times where I know angels were helping and miracles happened.

So, in one respect even though it has been painful, on a personal reflection level it has renewed and strengthened my testimony of Jesus Christ and so many other things.

On a painful level, my heart is deeply saddened for them and all they have given up.

It will be interesting to see how this change affects things as time moves onward, but I can't help but thing it will interesting in a sad way.