Conflicted

So, I admit it. I have shortcomings. :) I put a smiley face to let you know that I realize that I have shortcomings, and I try to work hard to overcome them, but it is still hard at times.

One of the main ones is the ability to trust and forgive people when they lie to me. I'm not talking about little lies, that although I still feel are wrong and misleading, are not as difficult to look past as BIG lies. Lies where they don't tell you something that they lead you to believe something else about themselves and they don't tell you for YEARS and then whamo! For whatever reason they decide that THAT is the perfect moment to let you in on the way they really feel.

I have a hard time with that. I have a hard time with it, because then I wonder what else they told me that was a lie. Was any of it true at all? Or were they just saying and behaving a certain way, just to let there be no tension?

Then the kicker... they don't want it to change anything about the relationship they have with me. To which, I just have to shake my head and tell them it is going to take some time. It takes time for me to look over all the emotions involved, then get over all the emotions involved, and then finally reach a point where I can just let bygones be bygones.

Just in case you are wondering something that isn't even remotely close...no, this has nothing to do with Shane. We communicate really well. Even the hard things. Even the things where sometimes you wonder if it would be easier to not say anything. We still talk about it...ALL of it.

It does involve someone that we are both very close to though, and that makes it hard.