I Am Not Ashamed

Hazel had her 2nd maturation clinic. Her first one was last year when she was in 5th grade. The one last year was okay, but the presenter was young, and a little ill at ease...and so boring. I remember having to have a lengthy discussion with Hazel afterwards because I think a lot of the girls got lost in glazed over eye land.

This year was much better. A lot more informative, a lot more embarrassing for some of the girls...they are 5th and 6th graders after all. Presented a lot better.

Except... mixed messages.

It's normal and something almost everyone will go through... but keep it private... (I disagree, on to that in a moment)

If you need to call your mom or dad you can come up with a code word (nice idea, and if that makes them more comfortable...but I disagree that it's necessary.)

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying girls should talk about this in a crude and crass way, but for too long having menstruation has been treated like something to be ashamed of. If we tell our girls that it's normal but don't talk about it? What message are we sending them?

When they were giving the phone call example, I told Hazel, if you want to do that, that's fine, but it's okay to just tell me too, because having a period is nothing to be embarrassed about or ashamed of.

I didn't always think this way. It took me a long time to get to this point.

I grew up in a house where we didn't talk about it. It was a hush hush topic. It made it really difficult to ask questions, and the few times I did...it did not go well. I told Shane, that our kids would be raised in a free conversation household and I never wanted them to not ask a question because they were embarrassed. Based on the questions my kids have asked, I have to think my kids are pretty comfortable asking me these questions, and yes it's uncomfortable for me, but my number one response is, don't react in a negative way, and speak calmly and with respect so they feel comfortable asking me more questions.

Who, other than myself and my husband would I want giving them these answers? I would much rather have them ask me then to try and figure it out on their own, or base their opinion off of a friend who is the same age.

When I think back to my middle school and high school years, I remember the shame I felt, the embarrassment, and the hesitancy to tell anyone when I was having problems. I was on the swim team and scared to death to tell my female swim coach that I couldn't use a tampon. (or so I thought. I realize now, that I was wrong, and could've saved myself a lot of grief if I had just told my coach what was going on.)

I guess my point in all this... we need to quit sending our daughters the message that this is something to be ashamed of! They learn from us. They learn from our attitude and how we react to things.