Differences

I read an interesting news article the other day. It was a guest column. I found myself experiencing conflicting emotions for different reasons.

The author tried to write an article on infertility, but because she had never experienced it, turned it into an article about hyper fertility and how the stress is the same. At least, that is kind of what I got from it. My opinion when I read it was that they are NOT the same. I still feel that way. After reading comments, I realized that I wasn't alone in that feeling.

It was also interesting for me to read, since I am not dealing with infertility now. I do, however, have a very keen memory on what it was like. Even as I was experiencing it, I remember thinking about women who had a difficult time preventing pregnancy. I tried very hard to be empathetic toward them, but it was hard. I could understand and visualize the stress. I could think about how difficult it would be to find out you were pregnant with another child when the money wasn't there to care for them and how stressful that would be... but it was difficult, when at that time, all I longed for was another baby to hold and care for.

It was a long seven years, broken up by a miscarriage. There was a lot of heartache. If I ever even come close to forgetting, all I have to do is look up my infertility label on my blog, and it all comes back.

I think the difference really, is that in dealing with infertility you are dealing with grief. Every month. Every time the test comes back negative. Every time, if you try in-vitro... it fails. Every time your cycle is late you get a glimmer of hope only to have it dashed again. If you do get pregnant... the ultrasound with the heartbeat that isn't there and the sad look on the doctor's face as they tell you things aren't going the way they are supposed to. So, every month, you start the grief cycle over again. You mourn the children that aren't there. They are very difficult emotions to deal with. They are emotions that only completely go away when you get a child.

I haven't dealt with hyperfertility, but in my mind, that stress and emotion is more of an overwhelming, what am I going to do and how am I going to handle this? How am I going to handle the stress of mothering another child? And, like I said before, I can see it, I can visualize how stressful it would be...but still, very different emotions then dealing with infertility.

I don't think you can compare the two.