Today I yelled. There, I said it! :) I think I handled it pretty well, even so. I knew this would be a difficult thing for me to do. I knew that it was going to take work and effort. For five blissful days, I didn't yell at all. It was such an amazing feeling! I felt so calm and collected, and it just went well. Yes there were moments that I had to think about things. Yes, there were moments that I literally had to breathe deep and remind myself that "I am a hollow reed...trouble blows through me like the wind..." but all in all, they were five very good days.
Then the toddler happened...and no sleep...and exhaustion...and etc...etc..etc... Today was a very long day. Today the 19 month old won. He was a mega toad today!! Add the book report that was due in my daughters class...they've done three now, in three months...does that seem excessive to anyone but me for third graders??? Add in that I didn't even find out about said book report until yesterday. YESTERDAY! I was very grateful I found out about it at all.
So yes, I yelled. I was tired, and frustrated, and nothing was going right, and my eyesight was blurry, and I was "this close" to waking Shane up and telling him to call in sick for the night because I couldn't function and I was feeling extremely overwhelmed.
But I didn't wake him up. And now it is bedtime, and the toddler is in bed. Fighting it, even though his exhausted little body has to just be so very tired. I have no idea how his eyes are still open!
My daughter's report is done...hopefully. I gave up looking at it (it was supposed to be a brochure explaining the books great landscapes?? or something...). I asked her if she's learned a lesson...and she told me she learned she should start working on the assignment when the teacher assigns it. GOOD GIRL! She tried hard to do it to the teacher's specifications though, so hopefully it will be great.
So, tomorrow is a new day. I will try again, because this is something I want to achieve, but again, I'm not going to stress over it. It's a goal. A work in progress. I know if I continue to work at it, eventually I will make my goal of not yelling for thirty days, and then it will progress to even more.
I look forward to that day!
1 comment:
K, so I want to know how you get your 19 month old to sleep. My 18 month old was doing pretty good until 3 months ago when I was getting 6 hours a night, and now she sleeps about 3 and screams until we go get her (after about 15 minutes) So frustrating, and of course, I'm not sleeping now. stinks. You could do a post on sleeping kids for me. :) Thanks.
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