Reflections

I just put in my reservation for my class reunion. I have to keep reminding myself that there will be at least two people there that want to see me...four if you include their spouses. This is seriously causing me anxiety.

When I went to my five year reunion I had good expectations. I thought that we had all, for the most part, gotten along pretty well, and that our reunions would be awesome! And...to an extent I suppose it was. I realized pretty quick that I had reminisced and thought about school a lot more than anyone else there. The bulk majority were people who had been in sports, which in and of itself is not a bad thing. Still...in my excitement I went and talked to them. I don't think I've ever felt so snubbed in my life. I know, I know, it was the five year, but still...

It doesn't really help that I live kind of close to where we went to school, and see people pretty frequently. It is not uncommon to see someone I went to school with at the local wal-mart. I even have classmates that work there. Big deal. It's an honest job, and I say kudos to them for having a job somewhere! Still...again, I made that mistake. Went OUT OF MY comfort zone and tried to talk to one of them. I KNOW they remembered me. Let's just say that experience makes it hard for me to say hi to anyone I recognize. They probably think I'm snubbing them, but I just can't take rejection very well.

Then the ten year rolled around. It was kind of pricey, and all I could think about was the five year, and really, I had less than zero desire to go. So I didn't. Then for some reason I saw many people afterward who told me how fun it was and that I should have gone. Maybe a small part of me regretted not going, but not much.

Then one of my friends was voted in to do this year's reunion. I guess there were a lot of people wanting a 15 year reunion because the 10 year reunion people had voted to do a ten year reunion instead of every five years. I am glad that she decided to do a fifteen year reunion, and I just keep telling myself it will be okay, that there are MANY people that I haven't seen for a long time and I can be sociable and friendly and not feel like the antisocial misfit that I am.

As an added bonus it actually sounds like fun and at the very least I will get some yummy food and a tour of our remodeled high school out of it. :) I know, the negative part of me is coming out here, but...there you go. So, I will try to be optimistic, take my camera, and have a good time.