Sorry, I read that word today, and felt like it adequately described what I'm going to do...well, in regards to the community symphony that I normally play with.
This is one of those posts where you can sit there and go, really? did I really need to know that? So, if you don't want to read it, you can stop. It's not bad or anything, just probably not all that exciting to read about.
So, anyway, usually I try to play with the local community symphony at least twice a year. Whenever I do this lately, it is a huge sacrifice on my part because it also takes me away from going to mutual with the young women. No biggie right? Well, I think it is, mainly because going to mutual is almost vital for the young women to get to know you outside of a class setting.
The community symphony is very giving in that sense. They would love it if you could go to all the rehearsals, but are happy and joyful for the ones that you make it to.
Now, here's the weird part. I love music. I love teaching private music lessons. I love playing the piano and cello. So, why do I have a hard time wanting to play in the local orchestra? They only have concerts 4 times a year (usually), that should be perfect right? I can think of all the positives, and all I can really go back to is that way back when, when I was a music ed major, I had a major burnout. MAJOR BURNOUT! It was bad enough that I almost sold my cello. (Sounds stupid in writing, but it's not like cello's cost pennies...This was a huge thing.)
So, I have to be very...sensitive to that part. And, that certain part of me is basically screaming that it DOES NOT want to play in the Messiah sing along this year. I went to one rehearsal. I even bought the music this year, since I've played the Messiah for the past 13 years. Took me long enough right? Anyway, I feel like a goober because I'm not going to do it, but oh well.
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