So, I didn't really think about it at the time, but I was showing my s-i-l my blog yesterday evening, and realized that some others may have the same question that she did...which was...why are there angels on my sidebar?
The short answer is, that is the way I memorialize the two babies that I miscarried.
The long answer, is that I was having a really rough time, and while I would have bits and pieces of peace and happiness, I was really struggling. A dear friend loaned me her copy of a book called, Gone Too Soon, The Life and Loss of Infants and Unborn Children by Sherri Devashrayee Wittwer, and in that book it suggested that it was very theraputic to memorialize these children that you've lost. ( I would recommend this book to anyone who has miscarried or lost a child after delivery or even in the first two years...this book is amazing.)
In the book it suggests planting something or writing a letter to your unborn child, but my friend didn't want to plant something in case they moved, so they bought a beautiful picture and had it engraved with the information. They didn't know if it was a boy or a girl so they put Baby _____ and then the date of death. When I saw that picture, I knew that I needed to do something as well.
While I had initially felt like I had grieved for the children that I lost, my emotional roller coaster of pain and anguish suggested otherwise. I had some very distinct experiences where I knew what gender they were, I knew what I wanted to name them, and then that was gone. I needed closure.
So, I wrote letters to both of them, and then I found a site where they had the counters that you see posted on my sidebar. No, I don't believe that angels have wings, but they are cute, and I like them. :) Plus, it brought me peace.
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