Cello cello cello

I love playing my cello.

If I didn't have to worry about my kids ruining my bow or touching my strings where the bridge is, which is bad, and also right about the height of their hands, then I would probably be playing it more.

On top of which, it's not just playing it...it's practicing and getting things to sound right, and having good fingerings. I haven't ever just wanted to practice my cello. EVER. Now, I do.

Like, right now, I want to be playing it, but I can't, because I need to keep Emmett and Jeffrey from destroying the house.

Apparently when I cleared all the negative junk from my chakras, a huge chunk of that was all the critical negative things that went with playing music. I know that was a while ago, but here I am, wanting to play my cello again.

I don't know if I can fully explain what a miracle that is. How burned out I was on all things musical. How even preparing for a concert was painful. It was a love/hate relationship of wanting to play the music, but not wanting to. That is all gone now. I'm even contemplating joining a community orchestra farther away from where I live because they perform more often. THEY PERFORM MORE OFTEN.

Do you know how crazy that sounds to me? Me, who even doing just one concert a year was adequate. Me, who for the past three years...nothing. Granted, I had good excuses. I just had a baby. I've been really sick. Things are just too crazy. But then there's this year. I had surgery, and I can't even carry my cello to rehearsals because it weighs too much, and I am still dedicated and wanting to do it! My son carries my cello case for me because I can't.

It doesn't even bother me that my hands don't work the way they used to. Well...okay, it bothers me but not in a, I should never play the cello again kind of way, but more of a, I'm going to play the cello as long as I can kind of way.

Now I just need to save up and buy some new strings.... (that doesn't sound like that big of a deal until you realize that the strings I like cost about 400-500 a set for some new ones.)