Just a little craziness

Surgery Revisited...

2012-02-12T06:00:00.002-07:00

So, I had an interesting conversation with my friend yesterday, and I realized that I didn't explain the "drama" of my job, when I explained it last time.

She asked me if it was anything like TV, or as exciting/scary as the surgeries on TV. Well, TV definitely makes this job much more dramatic then it is in real life, for sure. It seems like on the shows almost every person in the department is having a covert affair with someone else and making out in the supply closet.

While this may happen on occasion in real life (just like any other job really), it is definitely not the norm. And, if it did happen, the whole department would find out about it, and yeah...it would be in the rumor mill for a while. That's about as exciting as it gets.

At a smaller hospital like the one I worked at...very rarely if ever did anything like that happen.

As for the surgeries, since we were at a smaller hospital, a lot of the extreme trauma patients automatically get sent to the bigger hospitals. There have been a few times when patients were brought to our O.R. to stabilize someone before transport, but the most emergent/scary surgeries were probably OB patients that were bleeding out, or a c-section that is titled a "crash and slash" because that is what happens...yeah, those are scary. Other than that though, I would say certain surgeries are more intense than others.

Now, at a larger facility where they can do some surgeries right in the E.R., I don't know that I have the stamina to be a trauma surgical tech. Some people do, and they love it, but I don't think I could.

Some surgeries are definitely sadder than others...at least for me. It is always sad to help on a surgery of a patient that is going to die. Not from surgery, but from something like cancer, and the surgery is just to help alleviate pain and see how extensive the cancer is.

D&C's are always sad procedures for me, even though they are fairly short, because it almost always involves someone who miscarried and they wanted to be pregnant very badly. It is not uncommon for these patients to cry, and I have to just not think about it or I will cry too.

Most surgeries for me are like a puzzle. You know what you want the outcome to be, and you know what you need to get there, and then you just do it.

The Eternal Optimist

2012-02-11T07:22:00.000-07:00

I think that title pretty much describes what I am not. I keep trying to be though...mainly because people who look at the bright side tend to live longer and have fewer health problems. I'm serious. So there are definitely benefits to thinking this way.

I applied for a job. I know, you are all probably thinking I am crazy. That's okay, sometimes I think I am crazy too. It's for a part-time surgical tech job, which only includes a few call shifts, so that would be nice to not have to worry about. Plus it's part-time. Meaning that I could still feel like a functional mom, without feeling like I am depressed and moody all the time.

Anyway, the pessimist in me, thinks of all the reasons why I won't even get called for an interview. The optimist in me thinks of all the good things and why I will probably get the job. The pessimist usually wins, but the optimist side is definitely much happier.

So, I guess we'll see what happens. I guess part of the pessimistic thinking protects me from getting my hopes up too high, but if I was an eternal optimist,even if I didn't get the job, I would still be happy because it obviously wasn't meant to be!

I think that will be my goal for the year...be more optimistic about things and look at the bright side of life. :)

Short

2012-02-03T09:46:00.000-07:00

A few things...

We finally cut Jeffrey's hair.

Yesterday he finally rolled for the first time and now we can't get him to stop! I love it!

I'll have to take some pictures so you can see what he looks like with short hair. :-)

Star Wars Awesomeness

2012-02-02T10:54:00.004-07:00

This was just too funny/creative NOT to share. LOVE IT! :) Plus it made me smile and laugh.

Benefit of the Doubt

2012-01-31T13:42:00.001-07:00

Okay, okay, I think I was a bit harsh the other day... not that those thoughts weren't going through my mind, but in my defense...

I have experienced seeing classmates where I do go out on a limb and say "hi" and they look at me like I am scum...or maybe mildew...

Of course I have also had people pleasantly surprise me too. It always amazed me how many people I would know when I worked at the hospital. What was even more of a surprise was when they would recognize me...and this was after I was gowned and gloved with a mask and surgical hat on, so they couldn't even cheat by looking at my name tag.

I admit that these people are nice, and I think it would be enjoyable to see them again after so long.

hmm....

Plus one of my friends is in charge...and she is the type of person that if she is in charge, it is almost guaranteed to be fun. I have seen all her parties and gatherings on her blog and they always look like a blast.

Paranoid, or right...

2012-01-30T12:16:00.000-07:00

So, my 15 year high school reunion is coming up this summer. First off, I can't hardly believe I am that old. Although, the fact that I have a son who is going to be 12 kind of tips that off for me. Then there is the whole, should I go or not.

There are a few reasons I would like to go. I mean, I know that a few of my friends will be there that I haven't seen for years, but... I don't know. I am a little gun shy after my 5 year reunion experience, and then my husband's 10 year reunion experience...

That, and I don't think I do very well in large groups. I hate feeling like a number, like, no one there could really care more or less whether I showed up or not. I really hate that feeling. I cannot even begin to describe how much I hate that feeling. The feeling of being alone in a crowded room...

I feel the same way when I am at the store and recognize someone and know distinctly that, a. they know who I am but have no desire to talk to me, or b. have no idea who I am even though I look basically the same. Of course, there is always option c. which is where I usually fall...I would like to say "hi" but the fear of them not knowing or caring prevents me from doing anything.

There is also the factor that I pretty much have the memory of an elephant as it were (at least from that time in my life), and I tend to remember almost everyone that I went to school with...even if I never had class with them.

I mean, I know of a classmate who had to basically get their leg amputated because of bone cancer, and I GUARANTEE they have no idea who I am, even though I felt really bad for them when I found out.

I also felt sad when I saw the obituaries of some of my classmates/friends when they occurred. *sigh* Then of course there is the cost. Is it worth it to pay $30 per person to feel awkward for 5 hours?

Well, I've got a few months to think about it I suppose...

Seriously

2012-01-27T11:28:00.000-07:00

So, the title is meant in a very sarcastic tone. I feel like I have been very hit and miss with my blog lately, but I can't think of anything to write. Every time I get on here is just...nothing. Nothing comes to mind. Zilch. Zippo. Nada.

Maybe it's because it's winter. Maybe it's because I feel blah and wish I could motivate myself to do more when Jeffrey takes a nap. All I do when he does take a nap is sleep myself. If he was still on his crazy newborn schedule, this would be understandable, but he typically isn't.

Last night was unusual because he stayed up until MIDNIGHT. Blech. Other than that though, he usually goes down between 9-11 pm and sleeps until 6 or 7. So, I certainly can't complain about that!

Apparently I need some more goals to work on. That seems to motivate me pretty good. I'll have to think about that one...

I was a mean mom again this week. I finally had HAD it. Every afternoon when I would go pick the kids up from school Hazel would be SO SLOW. SO SLOW. I mean, we're talking last kid out of the school slow, FOR NO REASON. Just because. So, I had been irritated and then, when it took her TWENTY minutes to come out, I told her that there was going to be a consequence if she didn't start coming out more promptly.

Then, in a moment of parent meanness clarity, it hit me...Hazel LOVES her toys. She has way too many toys. So, I told her that every day that she didn't come out quickly (within reason) she would lose a toy. I would get to pick it, and she wouldn't be able to earn it back. It would be gone permanently.

Apparently I must have a tone of voice when my kids know that I am NOT kidding around and it will definitely happen the way I said, because for the rest of the week, she has been oodles faster. It has been so nice. :)

I know that if I was a good and nice parent I would think of a more positive way to do this, but positive things never seem to work for my kids. They don't care if they earn stickers or candy or game time. This though...this is Hazel's money, and she will do anything to keep her stuff...so I'm going with it!

Not Much

2012-01-16T22:49:00.001-07:00

So, there isn't a whole lot going on that I feel like writing about right now.

Jeffrey is constantly growing and learning though, so I will write about him. :)

He is so close to rolling over, it could happen at any moment. I'm sure one morning I will go into his room to find him sleeping on his stomach. Of course, if he were to do that I'm sure he would start screaming, since he HATES being on his stomach...ah the irony of learning how to roll... :)

He has also found his voice and likes to buzz his lips and make cute baby gurgles and squeaks. He absolutely loves his Jump a roo, and jumps and jumps in it. He likes it so much we took it to my m-i-l's house when she was going to watch him for the evening so he would have something to do. He also likes to lay on the floor and wiggle his legs and kick. It is so cute and fun to watch.

I have learned that another thing that infertility teaches you is to appreciate the small things. You don't take much for granted. Jeffrey amazes me every day, and I know that this time in his life will happen so quickly! Things that I took for granted when I had Harrison, I didn't with Hazel and now Jeffrey. I will hold him and marvel at his perfect hands and feet and all the things that he learns.

In other news...Today the kids didn't have school and Shane had taken the day off, which meant that he didn't work last night, so here are all the things we accomplished today. NOTHING. Well, I guess relaxing and enjoying each other's company is something, and really that is ALL we did, and we had our own "Bones" marathon and watched netflix all day.

It is kind of nice to do this every once in a while when things are so busy, and things just feel busy all the time right now.

It finally snowed again, so I think this is our third fairly small snowstorm this season. Enough to barely cover the ground, but not much more than that. Supposedly it is supposed to snow later in the week though, so we'll see what happens.

Time

2012-01-09T19:36:00.000-07:00

Time just goes by too fast. I was thinking about that as I am sitting here holding Jeffrey and thinking about how quickly he's grown. He's old enough to feed baby food to. This past fall just felt like one big blur. It was like, yay, Jeffrey's born, and then BAM! Now he's four months old. Almost five months actually.

So, I am glad I took lots of pictures of him, and glad we have a digital camera. Hazel didn't get many pictures because we had a regular 35mm film camera and all the rolls of film we had with her on it didn't get developed and the film got ruined...so...not as many pictures. In fact, hardly any. :(

Jeffrey is an amusing baby to take pictures of because he is all smiles and laughs and giggles until you put the camera in front of his face and then...the smile disappears and he looks at you ...it's pretty funny.
Anyway, here is Jeffrey in all his cuteness. :)

Hello again

2012-01-04T08:40:00.001-07:00

It has been a while since my last post. Thing have been kind of crazy, and not just because the kids were out on Christmas break...of course they don't call it that now. It's "winter break" now. I can think of lots of responses to that, but I will just leave it be.

Anyway... Our whole holiday break was pretty humdrum. I was even kind of wishing there was some way we could have an additional week. : ) Shane spent the whole month of December trying out a job that had given him an offer. So until the week after Christmas he was working double shifts. Yes it about killed us all and mostly him.

Then during the break he only had to work during the day but they were working ten hour shifts. We just kept joking that it was like a really nice Christmas bonus. Of course we all had to get a nice lovely cold to go with it all.

Still, it was a good Christmas and we got to spend lots of time with family on both sides, which was really nice since we haven't seen some of them for a few years.

In the end, after much discussion and prayer, we decided he shouln't take the job. Shane told me that after he told them his decision it was like a huge weight was lifted off his shoulders. : )

Jolly

2011-12-21T08:56:00.000-07:00

Harrison was very excited to play with the 5th grade orchestra this year. I was excited too. I still am. :)

Last night was their first performance. It was a Christmas concert. They sounded SO GOOD! They only played one song, and they have only played for two months, so all things considered, I was very impressed. The other groups sounded good too.

They had the 8th, 9th, and high school orchestras play songs, as well as percussion ensemble, jazz, and high school bands play.

It has been so long since I have been to a concert that included all these different groups. I thought it was very enjoyable, and they all sounded good.

Jeffrey enjoyed watching the band groups perform a lot. Who knows, maybe he will be in band when he gets older. It certainly wouldn't surprise me. :)

One thing that I found kind of funny though... Harrison's orchestra teacher had told them that she wanted them to wear Christmas colors if they had them in "nice clothes." I of course knew that she meant dressier clothing that you would wear to church. (I've been doing this how many years now?) Harrison was convinced that he would be just fine in his green Webelo's woods t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers. Yeah, that didn't fly. I told him she meant church clothes with a tie in Christmas colors. He wasn't sure about that, but I think he was glad I made him change when we got to the concert and everyone else performing was dressed nicely too. :)

Personally...

2011-12-20T23:29:00.000-07:00

So, I am sure that many of you know who the Duggars are. If you don't, click on the link on my side bar and find out. :)

I have followed this family for a few years now. I have always been amazed at how well they do what they do. Most people think of them as just having lots of kids, and then they form an opinion based on that. This is usually....how DARE they, or WOW they are awesome! And yes, it is usually those two extremes.

I think this family is amazing not just because they have a very large family, but because of how they raise their family. Is their family perfect? No, of course not. They even admit they aren't perfect, but honestly, I have yet to read anyone who has actually met and gotten to know them ever say anything bad about them.

You can tell by their personalities that they are good people. They decided to have a large family and have as many kids as the Lord would give them, and they took responsibility for that. They have NO DEBT. How many of us can say that? They provide for their kids purely on their own income by making wise business choices and living frugally. Their children are well-mannered and their older kids are responsible adults who gain careers and give back to society.

So, yes, it really irritates me when people criticize them for what they do. Everything they do. They took their family on a vacation and you know where they went? To Guatemala to do service. I think that is great.

I was sad to find out that Michelle had miscarried her 20th baby. She is a wonderful mother and so mild mannered.

Of course, now everyone has to criticize how they handled the miscarriage. They act like it is bizarre and unusual for people to have a memorial service for a baby, or to take pictures. Really? REALLY? Why does this bother people? I saw the pictures and I thought they were tasteful and tender. Many people who have lost a baby this size have similar pictures. It provides closure. They even share them on their blogs. Since the Duggars did it though....they must be weird. Why? Does it make people uncomfortable to think of a baby that size as being a person?

Personally I think it was very considerate of them to share this experience with the outside world, knowing that there are many people thinking about them, and praying for them, just because they feel like they know their family. I'm sure they knew there would be criticism. There always has been.

I still think they are great people who are a very good example of how to be a successful family in today's world...and they aren't ashamed or afraid to stand up for what's right and good either.

Funny Star Wars

2011-12-20T12:58:00.001-07:00

This was too funny not to share. :) I can totally see my friends doing something like this when we were in high school or college. Keep in mind, the funny part is in the last 10 seconds of the clip.

Take Two

2011-12-19T10:20:00.000-07:00

Last night was the second performance of the Messiah. This year we performed it in a Catholic church. The people that go there I think tried really hard to make us feel welcome. Maybe that means they want us to come back next year? I don't know for sure but either way it was nice of them.

I took Harrison and Hazel with me and I thought they did really well. I made sure they both brought books that they like to read in case they got bored.

I think it was an interesting experience for them because they have never been in a church that wasn't of our religion. Not that it was extremely different but there were some differences.

The performance itself was interesting since we hadn't ever played there before and then the conductor threw in some songs that we hadn't rehearsed and I don't think any of us had played for years. That was pretty exciting...then add to that a soloist we had never rehearsed with...yeah.... that song did not go that well. I can honestly say it sounded pretty terrible. There was one point in the song that the organ was the only one playing and the conductor was quietly calling out rehearsal letters to us... you know it's bad when EVERYONE is lost. On the plus side the soloist just kept going and she did have a pretty voice. : )

So I have to say that our first performance was definitely better than this one. Still...there is nothing quite like hearing the Hallelujah chorus sung in full choir and symphony in a church setting and that song sounded AWESOME.

My kids got to experience a concert too, and I guess in a way that made it more worth it than anything.

Different eyes...

2011-12-16T10:20:00.000-07:00

I was just thinking about all the different trials in life that everybody has. Then I was thinking about infertility, and how it is a big trial, but it has it's own blessings. Then I was thinking about how every trial is kind of like that.

Take infertility for example...it is really hard emotionally, and the wondering and waiting and trying to decide how to deal with it is all very stressful. I have a friend who is just starting in-vitro, and I told her that I thought every woman who tried in-vitro was amazing because I could never do it. One, because I can't even handle being on birth control pills without feeling completely out of control, and add all those hormone shots and whatnot...yeah, not a good idea for me, but I was happy for her because it gave her hope. :)

Anyway, I was thinking of the positives of infertility... namely, you never have to worry about being on birth control to prevent a pregnancy, because if you did magically get pregnant, you'd be happy. Shane asked me a while ago if we needed to do anything different to prevent me getting pregnant "too soon" and I just laughed. I told him I wasn't too worried about it.

For others though, their trial is being able to get pregnant too easily. I can see how it would be stressful, but...just like someone who's never dealt with infertility can't really relate to me, I can't really relate to the "yeah, we decided it was time to have another baby..." I don't know what that's like, so...yeah...but, I can see how it would be a trial.

I guess that's the point to that saying... "Every cloud has a silver lining..." There's something good in every thing we experience even when it's hard and challenging. It doesn't mean that I'm always good at seeing it, because I'm not, and I frequently have to remind myself to see the good in things, but it's there. It may not even be in what we are experiencing necessarily but how we grow from it. The things we learn from our experiences are often the silver lining.

On the Brain

2011-12-14T07:51:00.000-07:00

I can't get The Messiah out of my head...namely the chorus "Surely He Hath Born Our Griefs." It is one of my favorite choruses, so, not annoying...I just have a symphony and choir singing in my brain all day.
I even posted it so if you really want, you can get it stuck in your brain too.. ;)

This version is okay, there are others I like better but you get the idea.

Now I Know the Truth...

2011-12-13T06:00:00.000-07:00

I remember being a child and asking, probably begging my mom to buy me some play-dough at the store. Her response that I can remember was "It's too expensive..." This usually placated me and must have been something that I heard a lot in a seven kids family.

When I became a teenager with a job I realized that play-dough was actually pretty cheap, and I remember wondering why my mom had told me it was too expensive.

Now I know.

Play-dough is evil.

It gets in the carpet and doesn't come out. It seems to multiply and ends up everywhere no matter what. I am sure by the time I came along in the family lineup my mom knew better and play-dough was banned from the house!

Even though I think it is a fun thing to play with, we usually save it for camping, since if it falls it just gets on the ground and it doesn't matter so much if the kids make a mess.

So, I had to stifle a groan when my daughter came home from school and wanted to make homemade play-dough that her Sunday school teachers had so lovingly given her a recipe for at church yesterday.

I was battling the after effects of a migraine and the mere thought of making, and then dealing with play-dough was more than I could deal with so I told her (and I really did mean it) that we could make it on Tuesday. She was disappointed, but okay with it.

Then she went to the neighbors to play...and they made her some. *sigh*

Music

2011-12-12T13:58:00.000-07:00

Music and I have a love/hate relationship I've decided. I love music, I love performing, and I am ALWAYS glad I participate when I do.
So...WHY do I have to convince myself to do it?

When I started college I majored in Music Education because music speaks to my soul and edifies me. It lifts me up in ways I can't describe. When I listen to a classical piece of music, and even some more current things, there are harmonies that just sing inside me and fill me with awe.

Something in me died when I majored in music though. I don't know when or how or even why really, but it died. Too much of a good thing maybe? All I know, is that I was so burned out by the time I stopped, and so emotionally depleted, that I almost sold my cello. Almost. For no reason. Thankfully my husband wouldn't let me. :)

So, occasionally I play with the local community symphony. I enjoy this, but even then, I fight the negative inside me. I don't know why it comes, because once I force myself to rehearsal I enjoy myself and I am glad I went.

This year, I agreed to play in the local performance of the Messiah. I love playing this piece of music. It is beautiful. It has amazing harmonies, and then you add choir and soloists, and...it is one of the most enriching pieces of music I have ever heard. And yet, once again, I fought within myself. Should I go? Should I not? Should I go? Even the day of the performance.

Added on top of this was the realization that NO ONE related to me would be at the performance. I used to make sure everyone I was related to knew about it because I wanted them to be there, but they never came, so I stopped even telling them when the concerts were. Shane usually brings the kids, but we decided they could go to the second performance in a different city. So that left me. It took some real soul searching for me to feel good about anything.

I asked myself... "Why do you do this....really? Do you do it just because you want people to hear you? Do you do it because you want support?" And I realized, that no...I do it for me. I do it because it fills me and reminds me of the good things in life. I do it because it is something I need. If people I know are there, that's just icing on the cake.

Once I had thought this through, and realized truly what being a musician means to me, I had an amazing evening. The performance was wonderful. Hearing the audience sing the choruses was heavenly. The soloists did well, and the orchestra sounded great.

And you know what? I can't wait til the 18th, when I get to perform it again. :)

Thanksgiving and stuff...

2011-12-01T15:36:00.000-07:00

We had a pretty enjoyable Thanksgiving. We spent it with my side of the family this year. Shane's side of the family had a HUMONGOUS family reunion at his aunt and uncles' and I would be lying if I said it wasn't tempting to go, but it was my family's turn, and I didn't think it would be wise to take our 3 month old baby on a super long road trip...and not wise for mommy either.

I know, I'm a wimp, but I've learned that if I go on long (I mean LONG)trips and get NO sleep, I am not an enjoyable person to be around. Add a cranky baby that's thrown out of their routine, and no sleep for them either, and cranky kids, and it equals a very ornery mommy. At least I admit my shortcomings. :)

Anyway, we had a good time. I will be honest though. OF COURSE there was at least one spot during the day where someone got offended and upset and there was some sort of disagreement and it involved bored kids misbehaving. I don't think family gatherings exist where things like this don't happen. If your family is perfect, then you are super lucky!

Still, all in all it was enjoyable to be with family and talk and eat good food. As an added bonus I didn't have to worry about driving 14+ hours to get home!

I went shopping the day after Thanksgiving with my mom and that was pretty fun. I had to convince her to go since her last experience was about 25 years ago and involved crazy people grabbing things out of her hands. I told her that it was because she went to the DOORBUSTER sales, and only crazy people go to those. If you wait and go when normal sane people shop, you don't have to deal with those people because they are all back in bed. So we got there about 9 AM and were able to get some really good deals on things that we wanted.

Jeffrey is growing like crazy! He is already starting to fit into 6-9 month clothes. I know for many people this would be no big deal, but Harrison and Hazel never grew this quickly so it is a new experience for me! We were used to our babies being smaller and growing more slowly but consistently. Jeffrey grows quickly and consistently. I have to keep reminding Shane that this is NORMAL. :) I will have to post some more pictures.

And in other news...the weather today has been NUTS! It has been so windy, and it makes me glad I don't live about 45 minutes to the south because they have had power outages, freeway closed, trees blown down, garage doors blown in, siding blown off...It's at times like this I appreciate my small old house. I figure if it's made it through over 100 years of wind storms, one more isn't going to do much to it.

Crazy Pictures

2011-11-23T15:40:00.000-07:00

So last weekend was pretty crazy. I know...last weekend was almost a WEEK ago, but when I try to type while holding and feeding Jeffrey, it doesn't work so well, so the only time I get to be on the computer when I can actually type something longer than one sentence doesn't happen a whole lot.

Anyway...last Saturday was the DAY we were supposed to get pictures taken with Shane's family. This is no small feat. All together there are 35 people to try and get complete pictures of. Those same 35 people have to be able to be at the same place at the same time on the same day. Kinda crazy to say the least. (We get to do it again in December with my family!)

At first we wondered if it would even happen because it was supposed to SNOW all day, but it did that on Friday instead, and Saturday was fairly beautiful and sunny.

So, we got pictures of all the individual families, and then one of the grandkids. Then, they were going to take one of just the siblings, and then one with the siblings and their spouses. Well...that didn't happen. One of Shane's brothers decided he had to prove how strong he still could be, and ended up dislocating his shoulder! So, that meant that there was no group shot, no sibling shot, no grandparents with grandkids shot, and no siblings and spouses shot.

We felt bad for the brother, and bad for Shane's mom, because she basically paid a photographer to come on location and shoot pictures of all her kids' families.

Of course, this seems to be a typical happening with Shane's family. Someone usually gets hurt or sick or something, and it has been Shane before, which is definitely not fun, so anyway...we were all glad that his brother ended up being fine once they got him to the hospital, doped him up, and put his shoulder back in.

Really?

2011-11-17T20:10:00.000-07:00

So, you know how when a drug company is trying to push a new medicine or product they make a commercial and at the end it tells you that basically you could DIE if you take the medicine or product (well, okay, not really, but sometimes there are so many side effects that I just roll my eyes).

Anyway, today we were at the doctor's office so Shane could have a check-up and get his cholesterol checked.

While we were in the waiting room, the health tv was on and there was an ad for a new brand of insulin for diabetics. It actually looked like a pretty cool product and if I was diabetic and on insulin, something that would be worth looking into.

The funny part was at the end when they listed side effects and there was only one.

Any guesses?

Any?

"May cause low blood sugar levels."

Shane about fell off his chair laughing when he heard that. I probably rolled my eyes.

Really? Insulin may cause your blood sugar to lower?

I still think it's funny! :)

Signs

2011-11-16T08:01:00.000-07:00

Signs you are too grumpy:

--Whenever your kids pray they ask that, "Mommy will get enough sleep so she won't be grumpy."

--When you aren't grumpy your kids tell you that you must have gotten enough sleep last night.

--Your kids ask you if you need to take a nap.

--When you ask your husband if you are being ornery he just looks at you...chirp chirp...chirp chirp... and then tells you that he loves you and gives you a hug...(but doesn't answer the question...)

--You begin to make goals on having a positive attitude. (At least you aren't in denial about being too grumpy!)

--That's all.

In which I will try to be funny...

2011-11-15T17:18:00.000-07:00

So, I like to read blogs. I read some blogs that I think are really funny, and they make me smile because these ladies are extremely talented in writing their thoughts and experiences in a humorous voice. They make me look at my own experiences and I smile amd think about how I could be humorous too...and then I try and I read it and it is so not funny! It usually ends up sounding whiny or angry...or...I don't know what really but it's not funny...still, I want to try again. :-P

Today I discovered yet again I am a mean mom. Getting my kids up for school is a simple task really... There is no screaming or tantrums involved. Harrison usually quite promptly wakes up when I tell him it is time to get up...unless he gets distracted by the legos on his floor which are just begging to be made into some amazing flying pirate ship....

Hazel...takes a while. She sits and stares at her dresser...maybe she thinks the dresser will pick for her like on the Jetsons, I don't know, but this morning to speed things along....after she had already been sitting there, I went in and picked out some clothes for her. Just like I knew would happen, this motivated her to dress quickly in completely different clothes. (This does not bother me, because at least she is dressed!)

So why am I mean? Because I had the adacity to force her to take her coat to school along with her hoodie. I know I know, it was only in the low 30's, what WAS I thinking? The glare and slamming of the front door let me know how much she liked the idea....

Goal Update

2011-11-08T06:33:00.000-07:00

Back in the beginning of October I made some goals to work on. It really has been helpful. So, I decided to report on how I was doing, since that is what I said I was going to do. :)

1. Pay attention to my body and don't overdue it-- This one has been interesting since I decided to have the most recent surgery AFTER I made this goal. Still, I think I have been doing okay on this one. It's kind of funny because I'll be rolling along and then suddenly feel exhausted and wonder why. Then my logical thoughts kick in and I remember that I had three surgeries in less than three months. :S

2. Have a positive and patient attitude with my kids even when I'm exhausted-- I still need to work on this one more, but it has been getting better. It is definitely easier to be patient when I've had 6 hours of sleep in a row, which is where Jeffrey is at now on his sleeping at night. I am so GLAD!! :)

3. Keep the sink clean-- This one I have been doing really well on, and Shane even helps too, because it makes everything look so much cleaner. We have been doing much better on keeping things maintained instead of having to spend hours cleaning up. SO MUCH EASIER!

4. Think of one positive blessing a day-- For a while I was thinking of 5 things a day, and I did it even when I didn't post anything online, but I continually need to work on this one. Last week was hard emotionally, and probably would have gone easier if I had been focusing on positives instead of negatives. (What can I say? Being a pessimist takes a while to overcome...and sarcasm, DOES NOT HELP. Since I tend to be pretty sarcastic, it is a work in progress...)

Still, I think all in all I am doing better on these goals than even I thought I would be. Hopefully I can say the same after November! :)

Good Things

2011-11-02T13:02:00.000-06:00

My appointment went well, and I am healing up nicely. Yay!

I am off all painkillers. Yay!

It doesn't hurt to hold Jeffrey.

The sun is shining.

My sink is clean. :) (I have been doing really well on this goal, and just like I knew it would, it has been helpful in keeping the whole house cleaner. Crazy how much can happen by just having a clean sink!)

Another day

2011-10-31T09:24:00.000-06:00

So, I guess this is for the three or four of you who like to read my blog...or are bored enough to read my blog, or something like that.

Anyway, today is my follow-up appointment with the surgeon who did my hernia surgery. I have another one next week. This one is to make sure that the incision really is starting to look okay.

From my own point of view...the jury is still out. Part of it looks a lot better and the redness isn't as excessive as it was on Saturday, BUT part of it looks redder and worse. So, we'll see what the doctor thinks. I am hoping he'll look at it and tell me that that is perfectly normal and how it is supposed to look. :) I can hope right?

Feeling wise...well, I have been trying to manage the pain with over the counter meds, and that has worked pretty well, so that is a really good sign that things are improving. I still don't feel the greatest, but all things considering, that isn't the biggest surprise to me.

What I am hoping and praying DOES NOT happen is that the doctor looks at the incision and with a really sad look on his face informs me that I will have to have another surgery. I am telling my body that this is NOT an acceptable option so it better start healing correctly PRONTO! :)

I figure if I can still have a goofy outlook on things, then that must say something too...and no, it's not that I have heavy painkillers in my system.

I was going to be awesome mom this morning and take pictures of my kids in their costumes, but I didn't. Harrison is a "monster hunter" this year (think Van Helsing-ish I guess...according to Shane...) and Hazel is a ladybug. Jeffrey was a tiger. Shane is going to take them trick-or-treating tonight, but I'm thinking Jeffrey is going to stay home with me and hand out candy...unless an unexpected depressing outcome happens at my doctor appointment this afternoon. In which case I will be really glad that we went trunk-or-treating with Shane's sister and her family a week ago.

I think you can kind of tell that Halloween is not that big of a deal at our house. The candy is the best part, everything else I could honestly do without. I don't think my kids feel too deprived. They've never complained about having to be the same thing two years in a row, and sometimes they are the ones who have wanted to be the same thing year after year.

I usually don't put face paint on them, because that it such a pain to get off, and really, does anyone really care if the ladybug doesn't have cute mascara dots on her cheeks? or the tiger that doesn't have any whiskers? I can honestly say that Jeffrey really could care less, and has a more interesting time trying to eat the inside of the hood of his tiger costume. :)

Post-surgery

2011-10-30T13:18:00.000-06:00

So, Thursday I had surgery on my umbilical hernia. I guess it went well. ;) When I was preparing for this surgery I just kept thinking that the recovery would be cake compared to the other surgeries that I had had this year.

...

Silly me. :)

I didn't feel too bad the rest of the day, and then Friday was okay, but by Saturday was feeling pretty yucky. I kept second guessing myself and wondering if something was going wrong, or if I was just being paranoid. Then I would look at the incision, and the color started to change and get a brighter pink. It felt warm to me, but again, I wondered if I was just seeing what I wanted to see and feeling anything. The pain was increased too, and I had to take the maximum dose of my pain meds.

Eventually I decided it wasn't worth waiting and guessing. If there was an infection and I needed to go on antibiotics, then the sooner the better. So, I made Shane take me to the hospital. The doctor marked the red area for future reference, and put me on a really strong antibiotic. This morning I woke up at about 4, and decided to only take one pain pill, and it was just fine. That means progress!! The red area looked a little better too, even though that shouldn't really change for a few days.

Still, it is good news right now, and I hope the antibiotic continues to work.

Busy

2011-10-24T14:03:00.000-06:00

This morning was BUSY! Kind of my own fault, but it didn't make sense to do it any other way.

At 8 AM I had an appointment with the General Surgeon who took out my gallbladder, to talk about having surgery on my umbilical hernia. I will be having surgery on that later this week. The benefits of living in a small city. :)

At 9 AM we had an appointment with our friend that grooms dogs to get Sylvie groomed, which was WAY overdue. I think we gave her a big tip this time because it was SO BAD. Sylvie looks wonderful and cute again. Yay!

We had a little break in between appointments so we went to Wally World and got Harrison's birthday present and some Tylenol for Jeffrey because we knew he would need it later.

Then we went to the hospital to get pre-registered for surgery, since it is just in a few days. I was going to talk to my old manager and collect the stuff out of my locker and turn in my badge, but she was talking to the HR lady, and...well...I just didn't feel like talking to the both of them. Plus they looked busy. At least the HR lady looked like she was having an IN DEPTH conversation with my old manager. So, call me crazy but I didn't feel like interrupting that.

By this time it was time to pick up Sylvie from our friend's house. She looked amazing! Yay, we have our cute schnauzer back!

We went and dropped her off at home, and then went to Jeffrey's doctor appointment...and then we waited...and waited...and waited.......... chirp chirp.......chirp chirp....

They were an hour behind.

I was very hungry.

They let the person who came 30 minutes EARLY for their appointment in first...and this was in front of the two other people besides us that had appointments. This did not leave me feeling sunshiny and happy. Still, I went with the flow.

Jeffrey did great getting his vaccines. I was all ready to go and schedule follow-up visits.

No one was there.

This made me VERY annoyed. Mainly because it was NOT my fault that we had to wait! I guess I should have made the follow-up visits before we went in. I would have if I'd known we'd be waiting that long...of course I also would have gotten lunch and eaten it in their office if I'd known we'd be waiting that long. It took us two hours when all was said and done. We saw the doctor for about 10 minutes.

Shane bought me lunch. I felt much better and I am not as annoyed now. Crazy how low blood sugar can make me so irritable. ; p

Now I need to remember to make follow-up appointments. Remember. Remember. I should probably go and call right now...

Smiles

2011-10-23T11:00:00.000-06:00

Jeffrey has started to smile so I just had to share!

Choices

2011-10-22T08:06:00.000-06:00

So, first I will tell you how Jeffrey's nephrologist appointment went. Then onto more craziness in my life. :)

We took Jeffrey to his pediatric nephrologist appointment almost a week ago. He had an appointment at the children's hospital first to have an x-ray done where they shoot dye into the bladder and see if it goes up into the kidney. If it does, then...well, I don't know really since Jeffrey's didn't, and that was a good thing. :)

After that we headed over to the other hospital to meet with the nephrologist. Because of the different labs and tests they had done on Jeffrey, they could tell that his kidney was functioning normally. We were told he could pretty much participate in any sport he wanted to when he gets bigger...except for rugby, hockey, sports with extreme contact I guess would be a good word for it. I asked if he could play football, and she said yes, but preferably the kicker. Hehehe...not that it really matters since Shane and I are such HUGE football fans...um, yeah...not so much.

So this was all wonderful news. We were then told that we should come back in six months, with another ultrasound, and she will check to make sure that Jeffrey is still growing the way he should, and also that his kidney is growing the way it should. If that is all great then we won't need to go back for a year.

Now onto the craziness portion of this post...

I might need to have another surgery.

I am not looking forward to this.

I won't know for sure until Monday.

Odds are pretty high that it is going to happen though. *blech*

Until last year almost to the day, I had never been under general anesthesia. I had only been sedated. Both mean I don't remember anything, but when you go under general anesthesia you are intubated...meaning you have a tube sticking down your throat forcing air into your lungs.

I don't like being under general anesthesia. If I have this surgery, I will once again probably have to be under general. :(

I developed an umbilical hernia at some point in time. Initially I was going to wait until I was 100% sure that we were completely done having children. I don't know that yet, but the hernia has become mildly annoying, small as it is, and I just keep feeling like it would be better to get it fixed now instead of later when it becomes a bigger problem.

So, we'll see what the doctor says at my appointment.

Just Because

2011-10-16T07:38:00.001-06:00

So, things have been pretty crazy this past week.

It started almost two weeks ago, but we were really focused on getting ready for Jeffrey's blessing, so we basically just put it out of our minds, since you can only handle so much stress right?

Well, about a week a half ago, our Saturn started acting funny. It really concerned me when I was driving to pick up the kids and felt like it wouldn't stop and when it was idling it felt like the engine was going to die.

From Friday to Monday we didn't drive it at all. Then, when Shane did try to work on it, it sounded horrible. If cars could get colds (like bronchitis, or even worse, an illness like whooping cough, that's what they would sound like).

Then the check engine light came on.

This was all grouped in with normal life, work, picking up kids from school, and then taking Jeffrey to his first nephrologist appointment on Thursday. We had to drive our Yukon, and we always took the car usually because of the gas mileage difference, but anyway... for this post, just rest your mind and know that things went well. I will have to write in more detail in the next post...

Someone in our neighborhood has a code reader that can read the car's computer and tell you what is wrong, and Shane asked if they could read our car. We waited two days for that to happen, and they never came. Never called. Is it bad to say that it didn't really surprise me? Anyway, it was all good though, because Friday we were getting ready to tow it to AutoZone when one of our other neighbors passed us on the street and then stopped and helped Shane tow the car to a mechanic here where we live.

They knew the mechanic, really liked them, always had good experiences with them, and told us that they would read the code and tell us what was wrong, give an estimate, etc, for free. He was right! They did all that, and it was all free.

Well, what we found out, was that the timing chain had gone out on our car. Timing chains are EVIL! We had the same thing happen to another vehicle back when we were first married. If only the timing chain had to be replaced, then it is only a couple hundred dollars. If the timing chain goes up into the engine and bends a piston, then it's a LOT more. The thing with timing chains is it takes a lot of labor to even get the timing chain out, and then if it has ruined the engine, it's that much more labor.

We knew by how terrible the engine sounded when Shane was working on it, and turning the engine over, that most likely a piston got bent. The hard thing is, is that you have to guess, because it really isn't worth it to go to all the work to know FOR SURE. The likelihood of it being that though, is so high, it's a pretty safe guess.

Because of the amount of miles, age, and value of the car, we decided it wasn't worth it to get it fixed.

Our goal for a few years now has been to get out of debt. We even have a financial adviser that we go to, to help keep us on track, and when we get out of debt, we will know how to place our money. Needless to say, the knowledge that we would have to get another car, and the only way we could afford it was to get another loan...did not make us happy people.

Well, things have been pretty tight since I lost my job. Doable, but not comfortable. So, we started thinking about our options. We knew Shane needed a vehicle that would get good gas mileage especially with the price of gas now. Using the Yukon to commute didn't really make sense. So, we made a hard decision. We decided to trade in the Yukon. We both loved driving this vehicle, and it was nice to have something that could tow things. Still, we decided that for right now, it made more sense to do this, get a little bit nicer car, and then get another Yukon down the road when things have calmed down.

This would also mean that we would become a one car family. I don't think we have done this since...well...hmm...it's been a long time. With Shane at home during the day though, we thought about it and realized that we really didn't need two vehicles, RIGHT NOW.

There are a few sites we look at when researching vehicles. One of our favorites is Edmunds.com
You can read free professional car reviews, customer reviews, reliability reports, and everything. It is GREAT!

Anyway, the vehicle we ended up getting is a 2010 Chevrolet HHR. I have always liked the way this vehicle looked, but never thought we would own one. Well, we will be able to almost make double payments on it if we want, or put the extra money towards another loan with a higher interest rate, or something.

Here is what it looks like.

We like the way it drives, it gets AWESOME gas mileage, and the miles are super low because it is so new, so it will last a while. On top of that, it is a dark navy blue instead of white. Yay!

The Saturn we decided to sell for parts, or a "mechanics special." It basically needs a new engine. Anyone want to buy a car? ;)

Comparison

2011-10-10T13:10:00.000-06:00

I was looking at some of Jeffrey's pictures the other day and noticed how much he had grown in just one to two weeks.

This picture was only taken about a week before the next picture...

Crazy! He's growing like a weed! A really cute weed. ;)

Excitetd

2011-10-09T08:33:00.000-06:00

I am excited for today. Today Shane will bless Jeffrey in church. I've never been to a christening, but I imagine it is kind of similar...in a way.

Anyway, my mother in law made his blessing outfit, and I am excited to take pictures of it! After I do, I will post those picture on here.

I had basically decided that we would never get to experience this again after Harrison and Hazel and the years kept rolling by. There were times I was crying in church because I mourned that, but here we are, and we get to experience it again! I am very grateful. I am also glad that Harrison and Hazel will get to experience this.

We have pretty big families on both sides, and so when we have something like this, I often wonder...do I invite my close friends? I know they will understand if I don't. This time, however, I decided to. I just wanted everyone I was close to, to be able to be there if they wanted to participate.

I am really glad that I did! I have an idea who will be there today, and about half of our family won't be able to be there...actually maybe even more than that. This is unusual for me, because I like having my family come to things, and to me this is a very special thing, one that we may not ever experience again. Still, I know that they love me, and if they could be there they would. Life gets in the way of things we want to do sometimes. :)

I have been thinking my five things on the days that I haven't written on here. It is good, but writing it out is better.

5 things:

1. A beautiful fall morning.
2. Husband who loves me even when I'm crazy!
3. My children.
4. Playing games with my family.
5. Knowing I have people who care about me.

Cold and Rainy

2011-10-06T20:49:00.000-06:00

Today was pretty cold and rainy. There was snow on the tops of the mountains outside our house. Pretty sure my sister probably saw snowflakes where she lives today.

There is always a feeling I get when this time of year rolls around. The smells, the feel, the crisp air...apples, pumpkins, the last of garden produce and warm smells in the kitchen....mmm.

Today I cooked two turkeys in preparation for Jeffrey's blessing dinner. The house smelled amazing and made me look forward to Thanksgiving.

5 Things:
1. Yummy smells
2. Happy memories
3. Snuggling with baby Jeffrey
4. Listening to Hazel read to me
5. Chicken green olive quesedillas....yum yum yum!

5 Things

2011-10-05T20:54:00.000-06:00

So I read somewhere that if you can think of 5 positive things in your life every day, it will help you be happier.I know this is a true statement because I've done it before. It rewires your thinking.

Here are my five things for today:

1. Jeffrey smiled at me. :)
2. I could hear the sound of rain.
3. My house is getting cleaner::you can see the whole kitchen table now!
4. Harrison is taking orchestra and today was his second rehearsal an he's enjoying it.
5. My kids love to read.

Whoosh!

2011-10-05T12:07:00.000-06:00

I think Monday did me in physically. Yesterday...well...I was tired pretty much all day.
Today I actually got less sleep, but it hasn't been as bad and I remind myself when I want to go crazy cleaning...remember what happened on Monday?

It makes it easier to hold back. :)

So, I was reading my friend's blog and she was reporting on her current goals that she had set, I believe for the year. Well, the year is close to over, but, I am going to set some small goals that I can work on. This is something I have always been bad at. I know goals are important though. They help us have purpose and a desire to achieve things. Even if they are small.

I think this is a huge thing to help stave off depression, which I have been prone to in the past when I have been home ALL THE TIME.

So, here are my goals that I am going to work on.

1. Pay attention to my body and take care of it by not overdoing it so I can heal properly.

2. Have a positive and happy attitude with my kids even when I've had little to no sleep. :)

3. Keep the kitchen sink clean. ( I know this one sounds kind of silly, but it is amazing how clean the kitchen looks when the sink is empty! It motivates me to keep more things clean on a maintenance level and I am hoping it will train my kids to take care of their dirty dishes better...baby steps...).

4. Think of one positive blessing every day.

Okay. There they are. Because it is so close to the end of the year, I think I will try to report on them every month. There's another goal!

Exhausted

2011-10-03T22:50:00.000-06:00

I am so tired after this busy day!

It started with an early doctor visit to the doctor who did my gallbladder surgery. I think he must be a morning person. He opens his office at 8 am. My appointment was at 8:30. This was fine, because I had a second doctor appointment at 10:45, 30 minutes away, with Dr. Arrington, so, it coincided perfectly in the driving scheme of things.

Shane came home and was definitely exhausted from working all night. I took one look at him and knew that even though he was willing to go with me to these appointments...it was NOT going to happen. Even if he went he would have been sleepy and not all there. So, I thought about it for two seconds before deciding that I would rather have him sleep well and have time with him in the evening.

He told me he would take care of Jeffrey. So I let him for the first appointment. It went well and I found out how close I came to dying. I had kind of figured this out already from the amount and types of antibiotics they had put me on. My whole gallbladder was full of infection. You know things are bad when they put you on the antibiotics they save to use as a last resort.The nuclear bombs of antibiotics. :) Plus I was on I V antibiotics the whole time I was in the hospital.

When I came home to eat breakfast, Shane asked me if I could hold Jeffrey until I needed to go. I knew that if I left Jeff with him, he wouldn't get any sleep, and I wouldn't get to spend any time with him in the evening.

So, even though he told me to bring Jeffrey back to him before I left, I knew that I wasn't going to. :) I felt really good, and knew that if I was careful, I would be okay.

Well, the trip took about an hour longer than I had anticipated. I'm guessing they had an unplanned emergency surgery that threw them off schedule, because Dr. Arrington was in scrubs, and he only wears scrubs when he does surgery. I felt bad for them because they were behind and I could tell they were running around as quickly as they could.

So, my 10:45 appointment ended up getting over at about 11:50. Still, Jeffrey did pretty good, and slept on the way there and on the way back. Can't complain about that! Physically I was pretty drained. We took a nap and I was glad that Harrison's scout leader called to remind me of scouts today or I would have been late picking the kids up from school.

I am going to sleep!

Perspective

2011-10-02T09:05:00.000-06:00

So, I think I have been kind of whiny lately about things. Have they been hard? Yes. Difficult? Yes. Impossible? No.

I can see the Lord's hand in the blessings handed out. I can see things that have happened that have been beneficial to us, and made our burden lighter.

I have read other blogs and realized that maybe things aren't really so terrible and gloomy.

I can see both sides of things. Would things be financially easier if I had stayed on full-time? Yes. I still wouldn't have a job. Would I want that job if I could have it? The only way I could have it is if I hadn't gotten pregnant in the first place. Would I be willing to sacrifice that just for money? No. I see the miracle of Jeffrey's life, and am grateful every day that he is in our family.

I can see now, that asking to be put on PRN was good for us even though I ended up not even working PRN or being able to go back to work PRN. The main reason being, we knew that my paycheck would be significantly smaller. So, mentally I think we both started to prepare for that.

Me, in my candy coated, "Oh we will have enough money. I have worked full-time long enough..." and Shane in his more realistic money reality of knowing that things would be tight, but we would make it through until a few of our loans are paid off.

I seem to have a "don't ask, don't tell" when it comes to our finance situation. It's something that emotionally I always have a hard time dealing with it, so I put it on the backburner and forget about it until it forces itself to be paid attention.

Then I get worried, high strung, and overly emotional, until Shane lovingly and tenderly explains the plan to me, AGAIN (something that I know, but conveniently forget because I don't like dealing with it). After which I have to mentally convince myself that things really will be all right and work out.

We have so much that so many don't have. I wish everyone had someone like Shane in their life. He is my rock. Then, on the rare occasion when he actually has a downer day, I am his rock.

But, I gain perspective. I think we are so hard up until I find out about the family who has 9 kids and the dad has a mediocre job and they are just barely making ends meet, and haven't had power for two days at their house because they couldn't pay the bill, until they get a construction job and the bill gets paid.

We haven't had to do that.

I lament the fact that I can't nurse anymore for two reasons. One, I knew it was very beneficial for Jeffrey's health, and it was free! Formula isn't free. Even that need, someone ended up giving us three cans of the exact formula Jeffrey drinks because they weren't going to use it.

Shane's mom canned green beans and pears while she was here helping with Jeffrey, and then gave them all to us.

Hazel got sick, with a bug that normally would have kept her from school for almost a week, and yet she is well enough to go back tomorrow.

We've already met our deductible, and out of pocket maximum for the year, so we only have to pay bills from the delivery, but my emergency surgery will be completely covered. Harrison's meds will be covered completely for the rest of the year, and they aren't cheap.

We have food in our freezer and food storage, so if we have to we will only have to buy milk at the store...and even then, we could get by on the powdered milk that we have. I know how to make bread, and if it came to it, I could do that. Right now the 1.50 for a loaf of bread is still something we can afford.

An additional blessing...my body has been healing quickly. I am off pain meds and have been for a few days, enough days that I can think cognitively and feel safe driving. Most people are in shock when they see me because I guess I shouldn't be able to do things that I've been able to do. I still feel tired and exhausted and have to be very attentive to that, but I feel SO MUCH BETTER since having my gallbladder out, I realize how sick I really was getting, and how bad it could have gotten.

So see...perspective, and so many blessings that I know we will be taken care of.

And So It Goes...

2011-10-01T21:44:00.000-06:00

Well, each day I have progressively felt better. My mom has been watching Jeffrey at night so I will get the rest my body needs to heal, and that has been so helpful.

This weekend, we were going to have Jeffrey back with us, because Shane was going to be home to help out.
Well....

Friday Shane was asked to work overtime, which we desperately need, so my mom took Jeffrey at night.
Friday was also the day Hazel told me she didn't feel well, and I ended up having to get her at school because she felt sick.

Then, this morning she got sick all over her bedroom, and she had diarrhea too. *joy* She couldn't keep anything down.

I was REALLY glad that Jeffrey wasn't here for this.

So, I took her to the doctor, just to make sure it was only a stomach bug. By that time she had been able to keep down a few sips of pedialyte. Her throat looked okay, ears okay, and no fever. So that was all good news. Also good news that this particular bug seems to be a nasty but short one, at least in the not keeping food down department. The other could last up to five days, BUT when we got home I put some essential oils on her tummy and she hasn't had a problem the rest of the day!!! Yay for essential oils!

The doctor highly recommended that Jeffrey stay with my mom until the bug was done though, so, he is there again tonight.

I am hoping that Hazel will still feel good in the morning though, because that means we can bring Jeffrey home! I have missed him so much. I even went up and spent the day at my parents so I could be with him. Part of me feels like he is already forgetting the bond that we had. It was a bond that I never really felt with my other kids. They were both daddy babies, but Jeffrey you could tell always wanted me. Hopefully it will come back once we get him home again...

Slowly

2011-09-29T20:16:00.000-06:00

Things are slowly getting back to normal...at least, a kind of normal anyway!

My mom has been watching Jeffrey at night for me, which has been really helpful since I wouldn't have slept otherwise. It is nice to feel like our family is getting back to normal.

After my little emotional breakdown, which I think came out quite nicely in my blog post ;) I had a little mind talking to where I tell myself positive things like, YOU CAN DO THIS! I've done tough things and survived and I will survive this too. We've made it through times of extreme uncertainty before, and while definitely not on my "fun" list, we will make it through again.

It always seems to happen right around the time our babies are born though... I wonder why that is...

Off kilter

2011-09-28T00:48:00.000-06:00

This is a REALLY long post...just warning you...

Well, I really feel like my world has been shifted off it's axis.
I knew having a baby would be an adjustment after seven years, and I was prepared for that. :) Being exhausted at night and constant caring for a baby, I knew would be draining but so worth it, and it definitely has been. Jeffrey is so cute and adorable and just great baby all around.
I finally felt like I was getting a routine and back to normal. I didn't have any pain from the c-section anymore even though I knew I was still healing. I was starting to be able to take care of my house to an extent... :) Things were looking good, and Jeffrey was even starting to sleep just a tad longer at night.
Breastfeeding was going really well, and it was something that I was getting used to, and even a routine to that.

WELL...two weeks ago I had an episode where I felt excruciating pain. I am beginning to discover all different types of pain, and wow, this one is definitely a doozy. I almost made Shane take me to the ER then, but I was so tired of being told nothing was wrong, that we waited. I had a blessing, I felt a little better, got my back adjusted, and the pain went away.

Then, Friday, I began to feel a mild similar pain. Almost like a precursor to the pain I had felt before. So, we went in to see the doctor. The pain always presented way up high on my left back right where my rib cage is. Because of the location, and because it came suddenly and stopped suddenly, he kind of thought it was a muscle spasm...but I could tell it was really just to rule things out. The one thing that made him think it might not be that was I also had nausea and vomiting with it too. (I know, tmi, but just in case someone has a similar thing, I thought you should know.)

Almost an hour after the doctor, I felt the same horrible pain. The medicine I had just gotten wasn't helping at all. I almost made Shane take me in to the ER again, but decided to just wait it out. It was always so weird because it always originated in my back spine would wrap around the left rib cage and then hurt to breathe in.

The pain lasted almost eight hours that time, which was a definite sign to me that it wasn't just a muscle spasm because those are only supposed to be short lived. Well, Saturday morning, the pain was mostly gone, and while I didn't feel 100 % I felt mildly good enough to go to an open house at Shane's work. Honestly, looking back, I don't know how I did it.

Almost immediately after we got home, I felt terrible. I though my back must be out something horrible, and my awesome chiropractor came in from home to adjust my back at his office on a Saturday afternoon. My ribs were out of alignment, and he did adjust them and my neck, but the pain was only somewhat decreased.

By Sunday morning about 3 am I had finally reached a point where I couldn't take it anymore and we went in to the ER.

You have to remember the pain was always originated on the upper left. THIS IS WEIRD AND NOT TYPICAL. The ER doc started asking me questions, and then palpating all the different organs. When he got to my galbladder, I knew that was what was wrong. It was SO TENDER, and located in the exact opposite location. Your gallbladder is located under your liver, and usually when people have pain with it, they will feel it where it is...under your right rib cage area.

They did an ultrasound, and my gallbladder was full of stones and the wall was thickened. I had surgery a few hours later. There they found out that not only did I have stones, I had stones in the bile duct. (when you are a surgical tech, you always know this is bad, I was NOT happy when I found this out) it is definitely a complicaton to the condition. It was made even more interesting by the finding that the bile in my gallbladder was WHITE. This is also bizarre and not typical. Bile is usually a pale greenish color and in majority of sick gallbladders the bile has turned a sludgy blackish green.

So, after surgery I was transferred to a larger hospital where they could remove the stones from my bile duct with a scope. They removed them that evening.

I was in the hospital from Sunday to today, when they released me this afternoon. I guess I was just in an emotional cocoon. My mom and dad and inlaws had all been taking care of my kids. It was almost like leaving the hospital I was bashed in the head with the reality brick. My stomach hurts higher so it is painful once again to hold my baby. I can't nurse because my milk will kill my baby if I give it to him so I have to pump and dump it. So every time I hold my baby all he wants to do is be bonded with me and nurse and I can't do it. I think I cried for almost two hours since I got home.

My parents have been amazing and such a great help. My mom has been completely caring for Jeffrey since it happened. My mother in law is coming and spending the day the one day they had something they had to do, so that Jeffrey will be taken care of. She is amazing and awesome too. My emotions are so raw and on the surface. This is so hard. I know things will work out, and one day I will look back on this and it will be one of those experiences where you will see the hands of angels lifting you up and helping you and knowing that is the only way you made it through. I can already see it. I know it will work out. I know it will.

And this too shall pass...

First Week Pics

2011-09-20T15:09:00.002-06:00

Jeffrey was born about a week before school started. This worked out great because initially he was scheduled to be born the day school started. So here are pictures from the first day and week of school.

Harrison and Hazel were both excited for school to start.

This was taken the first day. I love how it looks like Jeffrey is looking at Harrison. :)

Hazel loves helping out any way she can, especially when it involves holding Jeffrey!

This is one of my favorite pictures of Jeffrey. It's hard to believe he was only about two weeks old when I took it.

Now I need to take more! He's four and a half weeks old now!!

Changes

2011-09-13T13:51:00.002-06:00

It has definitely been interesting getting used to a baby again! I love it though. I also love how much my older kids love the baby. Hazel is always wanting to help and watch and learn how to do it all.

When I found out I was pregnant, I was so excited. It felt like I was being granted my heart's desire and I couldn't wait for him to be here! He is such a sweet baby. He loves to be held ALL THE TIME. I think he far prefers it to anything else. I can't say that I blame him really, I mean, being snuggled up all day sounds like heaven to me too! :)

I wondered at brief moments what I would do about working. I knew that I really didn't want to work full-time, but just left it at that. I thought being put on part-time or prn (which is basically a when-needed position) would be great, but...it didn't really work out that way. A couple weeks ago they let me know that they could't hold my position any longer and I was let go.

This was pretty upsetting to me, but at the same time, I wasn't upset about the reason I was let go. I mean, I think I definitely got the better end of the deal. A beautiful baby boy. I wouldn't trade that for anything!

Wishes

2011-09-12T23:57:00.003-06:00

I was thinking the other day about life and the challenges that people face...especially when it comes to having kids and things like that. I often wonder at times why some people seem to have it so easy, and others have such a hard time.

It seems especially unfair when you are the one that longs for just one baby, and yet the "family" that has to have all their kids put into foster care because there's a meth lab in their house, can't seem to stop having them.

Then I thought, you know, if I had could have wishes here's some wishes I would make...

I wish no one had to lose a child to miscarriage.
I wish no one had to deal with the pain and sorrow of infertility.

There were more...but then I caught myself... even though I would never wish these experiences on anyone, and there is a jealous little monster inside me when I think of people that seem to be able to get pregnant at the drop of a hat (even NOW as I'm holding this sweet baby in my arms and have ZERO desire to get pregnant at the moment...)

Even so... there are many things I have learned from these experiences. The biggest ones seem to be compassion and empathy...and the ability to view the pain from their side.

The pain of wanting something so bad that you have no control over. The longing. And I'm not just talking about having kids here. The sorrow and sadness from not getting something that is a just desire.

These are things and emotions that I don't think I could have learned any other way. So...even though it has been tough, if anything, it has made me treasure and cherish my children. If it has taught me that much, even though it's been so painful and sad, I can't really wish that away. :)

Thinking

2011-09-01T11:18:00.003-06:00

It has been interesting getting used to Jeffrey's schedule...which seems to consist of eat constantly no matter what! :)

I've been thinking over the experiences that I've had with each of my kids. They were all different as newborns.

Harrison had acid reflux really bad, and would cry and cry for hours on end. Talk about stressing out a brand new mom who feels unqualified to deal with a newborn anyway. Good learning period though.

Hazel, I kind of missed out on part of her newborn time because she was in the nicu so long. Having a baby in the NICU is stressful. You want to be there for your baby and do everything you can for them, but you can't. You can't hold them, swaddle them, cuddle with them...for at least the first few days until they are stable. At least we couldn't. I don't think anything is more emotionally raking, then wanting to hold your baby and not being able to.

So, by the time Hazel came home she was on a schedule with the hospital. She woke up every two hours almost as if she had an alarm clock in her! It took us a while to get her to realize that she didn't really have to do that. She could wake up whenever she wanted to. Once she was home, I held her ALL THE TIME. She wasn't a fussy baby though. She didn't like being away from her mom and dad, and if we took her anywhere to be cared for, like either one of her grandparents, she would freak out and cry so hard that Shane's mom was always convinced she had an ear infection. :)

Now, Jeffrey...I don't know if it's just been so long that I don't remember feeling this way or what. I am ALWAYS tired. Always. It's all good though. I don't mind it because I love having this sweet little baby boy. He is a very content little guy, as far as babies go. He just loves being held. When I actually put him in his crib I have to tuck his blanket really tight around him or he just squirms and grunts until he gets to crying because he wants to be held again. As soon as you hold him, he stops crying.

I think, honestly out of all three experiences, the hardest one was Harrison and his crying. It is so hard to deal with a baby who isn't happy no matter what. I remember just holding him and listening to him scream and wishing I knew what to do to help him feel better. Throw in the new mom factor and it's just that much more stressful.

Shane asked me the other day if I thought we would have anymore kids. I told him that I didn't know, but for right now, I was just enjoying having Jeffrey. :)

This Time

2011-08-29T12:19:00.003-06:00

It is always interesting getting used to routines that you haven't had to deal with or worry about for a long time. I knew this would be the case when I found out I was pregnant.

We had gotten used to not having babies in the house. No diapers, no wipes, no formula, bottles, baby food, crib, swing, etc etc...

It has been fun for the most part getting used to it again. It's almost like having a baby for the first time, except without the "I'm a parent now" anxiety factor and getting used to life again with someone who you will take care of forever more.

There has been one major difference this time that the two times before I just didn't feel ready to deal with, so I didn't. This time I chose to nurse our baby. This may not seem like a big deal to many people, but for me it was huge. My family must know how huge this was for me without even saying anything, because I have had so much support from them, and it has been really helpful.

Jeffrey is the perfect baby when it comes to breastfeeding. He is also a big eater, and one thing that has helped me immensely has been drinking an herbal tea that has herbs in it that promote lactation. The one we buy is called Mother's Milk. When I drink it I make enough milk that he is satisfied. When I don't we have to supplement with formula.

I think the hardest thing for Shane has been trying to figure out how to help me the most. Before he would help take turns when the baby woke up. Now it's all me. :) So that has definitely been a change, but he is still awesome, and finds ways to help me so that I don't get completely maxxed out emotionally.

I am crossing my fingers that Jeffrey will continue to be the content baby that he is. He only cries when he is hungry, gets changed, or bathed. Other than that, he is mellow. and just loves being held.

Some Pictures

2011-08-25T11:09:00.003-06:00

This was taken after a few days in the hospital. My experience as a whole was really good. The nurses were really nice and the surgery itself went as well as it possibly could have. Definitely the best c-section I have ever had. The one thing that would have made the whole experience even better would have been a comfortable bed.

I am not a super picky bed person, but the labor beds in labor and delivery were NOT meant to be slept in...EVER. They are uncomfortable even to patients who deliver normally, let alone a patient that is recovering from a major abdominal surgery (which is what a c-section is).

The thing that kind of bummed me out was that they have a whole wing just for c-section patients and NICE COMFY beds, but it was closed because they didn't have the staff to run it.

This picture was taken the day Jeffrey was born, so he is just a few hours old. You can see his hair really well in this picture. It is so light it is almost a white platinum blond. I love how you can see Hazel in the background just looking at him. She loves him so much!

This picture was also taken the first day. Hazel loves every chance she gets to hold little Jeffrey. I hope this is a sign she will be a big helper! :)

Another cute picture of Jeffrey. :)

I took this picture after Jeffrey got home. I was trying to take a cute picture, but unless he is being held, he squirms and grimaces and so instead I got a picture that Shane says makes him look like a pirate! Yarr! :)

Yay!

2011-08-22T21:39:00.002-06:00

Jeffrey is finally here! He was born last Friday in the morning. Today is our first day home. I will post pics and write more later. Totally loving this sweet little boy!

1 to go

2011-08-18T09:10:00.002-06:00

I know, every single post has been about being pregnant and almost due, so here is another one! :) It's coming to a close soon though. Then I'll be able to write posts about having a new baby, and all crazy things that I'm sure my kids will say and discover, since they've never had a new baby in the home before...well, Harrison has, but he was only 3 at the time so I doubt he remembers much.

One thing I remember about Harrison at that time was that even though he was only three, he could tell that mom and dad were STRESSED out because Hazel was not at home yet, and his normal three year old world had been thrown off-kilter. I still remember him telling me that he thought it was time to bring Baby Hazel home! I definitely agreed with him!

Yesterday was my second to last prenatal visit. It was unique in that I went to a different doctor in my normal doctor's clinic because he was on vacation. I was rather impressed though. She was very nice, and I could see why a lot of people go to her.

If I make it to my next appointment, it will be my last one before my scheduled c-section!

My doctor is back in town though, so that is one less thing to be worried about. :)

Patience

2011-08-16T09:56:00.002-06:00

Patience is a virtue...it's something I have to work at, I admit. I always want things to happen right now, this instant, let's get it done!

So, waiting for Jeffrey to be born is almost pure torture. I want him here right now! Of course, then I remind myself what it's like to have a baby be born too early...and I don't want that either. I am so glad we have made it this far.

I also keep reminding myself that we've waited seven years, we can wait a few more weeks. :)

Final

2011-08-11T09:56:00.002-06:00

I know, some of you are probably tired of reading about my pregnancy, but I can't really think of anything else right now.

All I can say, is I am so glad that we have our computer hooked up to our tv in our bedroom. It makes being bedridden so much easier. :)

And...wowee! We have made it to the last three weeks. I am so happy about that!!!! I never thought I would be successfully pregnant ever again. I had actually started to think about possible goals for what Shane and I could do when we got to where our kids were both in college.

I mean, seriously, we would have been in our early 40's. You have to at least have some idea what you want to do with the rest of your life right?

And then, miracle of miracles, a positive pregnancy test.

I know this last month has probably been the most difficult of my whole pregnancy, and these next few weeks are going to DRAG by like nothing else, but can I just tell you how grateful I am to be given this opportunity again?

Even amid the anxiety (because, yes, there is a little, I mean, we haven't had a baby in the home for over 7 years!), we are both, well, really, EVERYONE in our family is so excited to have this little guy enter our home!

What a blessing. :)

Calm

2011-08-10T22:15:00.002-06:00

So, today was kind of a crazy day. This isn't difficult to achieve when the majority of the day is spent in bed. This sounds amazing, I know, but it really isn't that great.

First, we went to my doctor appointment. This particular appointment I double-checked TWICE with the receptionist because it was at a different time than my other appointments. I even have cards to prove it, but I didn't have them with me at the time. I didn't realize I needed them as proof that I'm not a total pregnant basketcase. :)

Anyway, my appointment was supposed to be at 10:15, but when I got there it was in the computer as being at 9:15. I was annoyed to say the least, but they still agreed to see me. How nice, since it wasn't my fault I was an HOUR late!

Still,I played the gracious patient, because you never want to be pegged as a difficult patient, and you definitely get better service being nice and agreeable. It's worth it, believe me.

My appointment went pretty well. Now I am on weekly appointments until the baby is born. This is made even more exciting by the fact that my next visit will be with a doctor I've never met before, since my doctor will be out of town for a week.

Doctors are busy individuals, and I am glad he is able to take a vacation. I just wish it had been any time earlier in my pregnancy than the last three weeks of waiting. :) Things with me tend to get a little crazy and unpredictable during that time-frame.

Mentally, I keep trying to convince myself that it can't do anything exciting for at least another week. Everything would be better if one more week went by. The baby would be healthier, and it would just be better all around.

Hopefully my body will cooperate!

We also scheduled the c-section for Aug 29th. I highly doubt we will make it to that date, but you never know. Maybe we will!

And all the while, most of all, I am trying to stay calm and relaxed. :)

Follow Up

2011-08-06T08:22:00.002-06:00

Tuesday was my last ultrasound appointment with the perinatologist. I guess for those that are wondering I'll explain what a perinatologist is. A perinatologist is an OB doctor that has specialized in monitoring and caring for high risk pregnancies. That's ALL they do, so they are very good at doing what they do.

Anyway, since my first diagnostic ultrasound with the perinatologist showed that Jeffrey appeared to only have one kidney, I had follow-up ultrasounds with the perinatologist just to make sure that everything else was going okay.

They check the bone growth, head growth, heart, kidney function, umbilical cord function, placenta, and level of amniotic fluid. Every time I have gone to my follow up appointments, everything else has checked out fine.

This last time the perinatologist did mention that they will probably want to do an ultrasound on Jeffrey after he is born just to make sure there really is only one kidney. So, I suppose that even if everything is fine when Jeffrey is born, they may want to monitor him in the NICU just to be sure everything really is fine. I don't anticipate it being a long visit though. Nothing like when Hazel was in the NICU for a month.

This last time we went, you could see so many details on what Jeffrey looks like. We could see his little face so clearly it was almost like looking at the pictures people get with a 3D ultrasound. The kids were with us, so I was really glad that they got to see that. You could also see on the bones the difference between bone and where muscle was. The heart was amazing to see as well.

I guess for me it was especially interesting because I could correlate what I was seeing on the screen with all the things I learned about the body when I took anatomy and physiology so many years ago. It was just so cool!

For Kala

2011-08-01T09:14:00.004-06:00

So, I was going to be really awesome and post lots of pictures this pregnancy like one of my other friends always does.

I even had Shane take pictures (when I remembered) to document.

Then our main computer got fried. I could tell you why, but...I don't want to make Shane feel bad, and lessons have definitely been learned...mainly, don't go to websites that older brothers recommend. ;)

Our other computer still worked, and that is why I was able to still post and get online, but that computer doesn't really have any other programs on it, so I couldn't download pictures easily or anything like that.

Finally though, our computer is back in working order because Shane is AWESOME and can do anything he sets out to do, like put in new parts on our computer so it works again.

Anyway, after much waiting my friend Kala finally begged me to PLEASE put some pictures of my pregnant self on my blog!

So, these pictures are progressive. My mind is mush so I can't document exactly when they were taken, but since my belly keeps getting bigger, you can tell which picture goes where...

This picture I remember thinking, "I should have more pictures taken while I'm pregnant" since most of the ones when I am pregnant with Hazel never got developed so we don't have any. I'm guessing this one was taken at the beginning of July sometime.

This one was taken a couple of weeks later, which you can tell because my belly is quite a bit bigger...

This one was taken today! So, at 35 weeks.

Here are the comments I commonly hear...WOW you carry really low...are you sure about your due date? Yes, we are sure. For some reason my body likes to carry low, even with Hazel I carried really low. I had one person ask me if we were sure it was a girl when I was pregnant with Hazel because of how low I carried.

Ironically enough, even though I carry low, the babies don't drop into position early. When I had my last doctor appointment I asked him if he felt a foot up by my rib cage and he said it felt like a little bum. So even though I carry low, my kids like to use up all the room and stretch out... :)

Last Week

2011-07-31T12:55:00.002-06:00

This past week was a good one for me emotionally. I celebrated my birthday, which honestly wasn't something I was looking forward to all that much. My expectations were very low.

Shane, in his loving way, decided that would not do, and did his best to make sure that my birthday was a special time this year. I think we celebrated it for about four days. :)

It worked. I felt loved and important. Harrison told me when he gave me his gift, that he picked it out because he knew I would like it, and he wanted to give me something special because he thought I was the best mom ever.

I think he could have just told me that and not given me anything and it would have made my day.

Today I woke up with peace in my heart. Such a feeling of contentment and happiness just enveloped me. It is a feeling that has been absent a lot lately, but as I focus more on gratitude for the blessing I have, the joy I long to feel returns.

Since going to church doesn't seem to be an option today, I decided to watch inspirational church videos on lds.org

I enjoy watching these videos because they remind me of gospel truths, fill my heart,and strengthen my testimony of the gospel. Jeffrey likes them too, apparently, since he has been quite active the whole time. :)

I look forward to the moment when I will finally get to meet this little guy.

2011-07-27T19:44:00.002-06:00

Well, my days of part-time bed rest are at an end...yes, now I am on most of the time bed rest. :)

This is mainly because if I stand or walk for any extensive amount of time...or even not that extensive really, I start having contractions. Since my goal is to keep this little guy inside of me growing and developing as long as possible so his lungs will be healthy and functional, there are still a few weeks to go before we want him to be born. So bed rest it is.

I have gone to the store a few times, but now I have to use those little electric carts, which make me feel totally stupid, but extremely grateful that they are available. I have to admit they are pretty fun to drive though...

Today was another doctor appointment. One thing that I really like about my doctor, is that he is extremely skilled in scary situations, but he stays calm. His ability to stay calm is good for me, because it helps me stay calm, and since I tend to be a little on the "high strung" side, I need all the calming emotions I can get.

Anyway, I guess on my next appointment we will discuss when the c-section will be scheduled. This is a little weird, because I don't like scheduled c-sections, but considering the circumstances, I know it is necessary. :)

I can't believe it is getting so close! I know I keep writing that, but the wait is almost over!

Goulash

2011-07-24T08:26:00.004-06:00

It is crazy to think that there is only one more week in July and then it will be August.

When I was growing up my parents always grew a huge garden. Well, it was huge to me. :)
So, the end of summer always reminds me of yummy things that my mom would always cook to eat from the fresh produce that would come from our garden.

I don't know why, but nothing tastes quite as good as fresh vegetables.

It isn't surprising to me that lately I have been craving one of the meals my mom would always make this time of year...zucchini goulash. Just thinking about it makes my mouth water. :)

So, I am going to share the recipe with you, since I am craving it so badly, and have no zucchini to make it with...until I convince Shane to either buy some from the farmer's market, or go see if there is any in my parents' garden. :)

Zucchini Goulash

1 lb ground beef
zucchini
1-2 cans tomatoes (I like using diced Italian style)
onion
shredded cheese
crushed soda crackers

In a large skillet brown ground beef and cook diced onion with it. Season with garlic salt and Mrs. Dash or salt and pepper.

Add sliced zucchini. Depending on how big the zucchini is and how much you want in the meal, determines how much you use. Just remember that it will cook down smaller.

Add canned tomatoes. If too thick add a little water.

Cover and let it simmer until zucchini is cooked through.

Place layer of crushed soda crackers on top. I like my crackers to have bigger chunks, so I just crush them with my hands.

Add lots of shredded cheese. We like colby jack so that is what I use, but it tastes good with cheddar too.

Once cheese has melted on top it is ready to eat!

Plot Device

2011-07-22T10:19:00.001-06:00

This is a pretty creative short film. Pretty funny too. :)
Make sure you watch til after the credits. There's a really funny scene at the very end.

Hard

2011-07-21T10:12:00.003-06:00

So, I guess technically I have been on modified bed rest for about two and a half months now.

I know, to some who have never had to experience this delightful adventure, doing nothing may sound like the easiest thing in the world. Believe me, it is not easy.
Mentally and emotionally, it is anything but easy.

It makes me have compassion for people who are unable to do anything and still stay in a chipper mood and have good spirits. You have to work at it constantly.

It's very easy to become paranoid and depressed, wondering if anyone even knows you exist when you don't hear from anyone for days on end. My mom's daily phone call to see how I am doing, becomes a treasure that I look forward to.

If I were truly alone, it would be an almost impossible thing to bear. I am glad I have Shane and two kids to keep me company. :)

A mental exercise of the day is to think of all the blessings I have and things that make me happy. It really does help.

Getting dressed in normal clothing is a necessity. It's amazing how just getting dressed for the day can make you feel really good.

Only 5 weeks until the due date, and if Jeffrey and my body cooperate, only 4 weeks until he will be born. :) It is something I look forward to on a daily basis. Then I will have something new to keep me busy and on my toes.

tick tock

2011-07-19T10:19:00.002-06:00

It is getting closer! I am sure the time would pass more quickly if I wasn't thinking about it constantly...but time seems to be something I have an abundance of at the moment. :)

Yesterday I felt well enough to take the kids to the library. If I let them, my kids would probably max out their library cards with the amount of books they could check out, but Harrison lost his card, and I told him until he could find it, he'd just have to get a few on mine. Plus, whenever I let him check out more than four books, he loses them, or they become engulfed in his personal library...

I was happy to go yesterday so I could check out some more books. I have LOTS of time to read these days. I have read a few already, so I will probably review them in a little while on here.

Things are still going well. Still taking it easy. Nothing overly exciting to report. No 16 guage iv's put into my arm this week. :)

Firebolt - BYU's Divine Comedy

2011-07-15T10:38:00.000-06:00

I like Harry Potter, but this just brought a smile to my day and made me laugh.:)

Appointment

2011-07-14T09:58:00.002-06:00

So yesterday I had my follow-up doctor appointment with Dr. Arrington. He checked the baby via ultrasound and things looked good. My next appointment is in two weeks, unless something crazy happens. Nothing crazy is going to happen though. :)

I talked to him about whether I needed to be on bedrest or not, and I am still basically on modified bedrest.

This means, that I have to know my limits. It's okay if I do a little, but if I get tired I'm supposed to lay down and take it easy. If I am doing things and I start contracting I'm supposed to lay down and relax and see if they stop.

So, basically what I've been doing since the beginning of May and which I like to call "take it easy" bedrest.

I do tend to have to rest more now than before, and my energy level is at about zero, but I think that just goes with being in the third trimester of pregnancy. :)

I also asked him about when the c-section would be, and he told me that he likes to wait until 39 weeks (smart doctor!) unless there is a reason to deliver before then, like say, I go into labor. I don't anticipate that happening though, but it would be interesting if it did. I don't think I have actually gone into real labor with either one of my other kids, so that will be a new experience if it actually happens.

Fashion

2011-07-13T08:23:00.002-06:00

For some reason I was thinking this morning about how I really don' follow any trends of fashion.

I think my dressing style would be classified as traditional, or maybe classic. I classify my dressing style as "It's cute, I like it, I'm going to wear it..." :) If it happens to be trendy or in style, it's purely by accident.

If I'm not comfortable wearing it, it doesn't matter if it's in style or not, I can't wear it. If I don't feel like it's "me" same thing.

I was really glad that in my wanting to be pregnant for so many years that I collected maternity clothing that I thought was cute. I would have been in dire straits if I hadn't since I definitely wouldn't have fit into anything I wore when I was pregnant with Harrison, and most of the clothing out there right now...can't say that it's my favorite. Most of it looks really weird to me.

I think I was in high school when I decided that having colored socks that matched what I was wearing was stupid and a waste of time. I transitioned to white and black socks. That's it. Makes matching socks easier and I don't have to sit and rifle through my sock drawer trying to find a matching color.

I have a very difficult time wearing any type of dress or skirt that doesn't at least go to mid-calf. If I ever have a moment of "well maybe" and try to wear something that is even close to my knees, it usually only lasts for a second. I don't know why this is really, since I can wear shorts that go to my knee, no problem.

My disregard for fashion trends may explain why Hazel comes up with some pretty unique clothing combinations. One of her favorites, that I keep trying to talk her out of on occasion, is wearing shorts and knee-high socks in clashing bright colors. Of course, she's cute enough that she can get away with wearing pretty much whatever she wants and people would probably just smile and comment on how adorable she is. :)

And now for my worst fashion faux pas, (I've been saving this one for last...) there are times when I wear socks with my sandals. I know I know....you can all stop gasping now. ;)

Blech

2011-07-10T22:33:00.002-06:00

I am grateful for modern medicine.

That being said, today pretty much sucked.

On the plus side I don't have clots in my lungs. my oxygen level is good, and the baby is doing great.

I am pretty much supposed to rest until my doc appointment on Wednesday.

But the baby is doing great and that is all I care about. :) I will stay in bed until the baby comes if that is what I need to do.

Crazy

2011-07-08T15:20:00.002-06:00

Over the 4th of July we went up to Lava Hot Springs. Shane's grandpa has some property up there so we try to go on a little camping trip at least once during the summer.

Well...I can definitely say I have had more relaxing camping trips. :)

I was glad we stayed an extra night because it made the whole camping trip worth it.

We did have an adventure going to watch fireworks though. As my m-i-l put it... one of those experiences you will talk about for the rest of your life but never want to experience again... hehehe.

Shane remembered there was a mountain overlooking Lava and we thought it would be fun to watch the fireworks from there. It really wasn't too bad...minus the road that seemed built for four-wheelers, and the drunk people sharing the mountain peak with us...at least they were still in the "happy drunk" stage. ;)

Oh, and I forgot to mention the kids who were more interested in how many glow sticks they could put together than actually "watching" the fireworks and shrieking and temper tantrums... wait...that kind of describes most of the trip...and no, my kids were actually really well-behaved for the most part.

It was good to come home though. It has taken me a few days to recover from it, an today I have had zero energy, but I can feel Jeffrey move ALL THE TIME which actually makes me really glad because I know he's doing okay.

Just a few weeks and we will have a new baby! Still kind of blows me away. We are all excited though, and I keep hoping for the best.

Electricity

2011-07-01T07:05:00.002-06:00

The past couple of days we have had a few little power bumps. I don't know why really. Maybe it's because of all the electrical storms we've been having, or because of the hot weather, or it could also be because we have major construction going on right by our neighborhood.

Well, yesterday the power went off and stayed off for about a half hour. To my kids this was quite the event. Hazel was quite concerned and kept annoying Harrison with all her questions.

We had already made plans to go to the store so Shane and I were busy putting our shoes on, when we hear Harrison in exasperation tell Hazel, "HAZEL! The power isn't going to come back on UNTIL the power bill is paid!!!"

I immediately busted up laughing, as did Shane. Harrison looked at us with the biggest question on his face. I don't know if he believed me when I told him that sometimes the power goes off whether you've paid your bill or not. :)

Whoa!

2011-06-30T09:36:00.002-06:00

It must be a combination of the hot weather and being basically homebound, but I just had a realization after my doctor appointment yesterday...

We are getting close to adding a new member to our family! Yippee!!! Only about 8 weeks! And if my past history has anything to say about it, it will be more like 6 weeks.

I think this is the first time since having kids that I actually have made it to the point where you start going to the doctor every two weeks instead of every four. This is a HUGE accomplishment for me.

With Harrison, by this time I was in the hospital and got pneumonia. Then we were in and out of the hospital until he was born. He was the baby I earned the "most complicated patient" award from my doctor. Hehehe....I guess that's better than my s-i-l who earned the "scariest delivery award" from her doctor...yeah, I don't want to have her experience that's for sure...

With Hazel I was on bedrest and in and out of the hospital until she was born. Then she was in the NICU for 4 and a half weeks. NOT FUN.

It is a relief to only be on "take it easy" bedrest with Jeffrey and still be able to do some things. I keep telling him, develop those lungs, NO NICU BABIES this time!!

He is quite active these days which is quite a relief. One less thing to worry about. :)

The doctor also did a basic ultrasound just to make sure everything was okay, and it all looked good. I kind of got the impression that if I was really adamant about it, he would have let me attempt a VBAC (I could also tell that he wasn't overly excited about the idea which was fine), but knowing what I do about risk factors and my own condition, which tends to be in the "higher risk" category in the first place, I am content to have a c-section.

Because of all the risks involved, it really isn't even that tempting really. Maybe if I wasn't having any problems at all, everything was 100% okay with the baby, and everything else, then maybe, I would be tempted, because even then, there is a higher risk, but the odds are better.

At this point though, I just want a healthy baby, and if the most risk free way to get him here is with a c-section, then so be it.

Hot

2011-06-29T07:07:00.003-06:00

Well, it is HOT. I am glad I had the long spring that I did though. It was heavenly. I know most people were bemoaning the fact that it was raining so much and "cold" but I was LOVING it!

Bonuses to having cooler wet weather:
-Don't have to water the lawn. (This seems to be my job, and this year I can't do it. So...the lawn is looking a little dry now...)
-Don't have to have the fans or the A/C going, and it's warm enough that the furnace doesn't have to be on either. (Lower electric and gas bills!)
-I sleep better at night. (Equals a happier mom!)

Now it is my least favorite season of all, and it's hot. I am glad I have an air conditioner in my house that I can sit in front of all day if I want. It would be nice if the changes in air temperature weren't so drastic though. Going from 60's suddenly up to 90's seems to wreak havoc on my system at the best of times, and when I am pregnant it totally freaks my body out.

Why I HATE summer:
-I get overheated no matter what...unless I sit in front of the A/C.
-Electric bill goes up.
-Electric bill goes up even more when it is so hot that the A/C is kept on at night.
-I don't sleep well because it's so hot.

Oh well. :)

Redo

2011-06-28T08:22:00.002-06:00

So, I have decided I need to take it easier than I have been. Granted, yesterday was not completely my fault. :)

I had an appointment with the chiropractor which I thought was smart because I had just been camping, and camping is a guarantee to pretty much make my back into a twisted pretzel. I scheduled it early in the morning so I wouldn't have anything to do the rest of the day except relax (which is what I'm supposed to do right?).

Well...Harrison's medication ran out. So, I thought, no biggee, I'll go get it filled. The first time I drove by they weren't open yet. (My appt. was VERY early) So, I went home.

An hour later I took Hazel and we went back to the pharmacy. They took the prescription, and then had to call the doctor's office because the doctor had changed the date on the paper and hadn't initialed it.

I looked around the store for a bit, wishing I was home sleeping/relaxing, and then the pharmacist very politely told me that if I wanted to I could go home and call to see when the doctor FINALLY called back.

So, I went home. I was going to rest, but my kids were antsy to do something, and Harrison had already been off his meds for two days so he was going a little nutty. I could tell this by how many times he felt it was necessary to pull Hazel's hair, push, and basically annoy to death, everyone involved. (Don't judge me! Until you have a kid like mine you have NO IDEA what it is like!)

Anyway, I got out one of our craft projects that we had bought on the clearance aisle at Hobby Lobby. It was a fairly easy craft, and then my stomach grumbled a little and I realized it was lunch time. *sigh* What to do?

I immediately remembered that I could take the kids to free lunch. SWEET! So, I checked the clock, there was plenty of time to take them, and we went...unfortunately this meant I was out of the house yet again, but I DIDN'T have to make lunch which was a big relief to me. Plus, the school was fairly close to the pharmacy so I thought, GREAT, I will call the pharmacy when we are done and go get Harrison's prescription.

When I called, the pharmacist told me that the doctor had called back, and that they were going to MAIL the prescription in! WHAT?!!! I was so mad! I wondered why someone (like say, maybe the doctor's office) hadn't called me to ask what I would rather have them do. I mean, COME ON. I live a mile away from the doctor's office. I could have easily gone and picked up a new prescription and then picked it up myself!

So...now we are in today. Hopefully today will go better than yesterday. :) And I am determined to take it easy, because I don't want this little guy to appear until at least mid-August.

Amazing Race

2011-06-27T06:31:00.005-06:00

We were busy camping the rest of last week. :) My family had their annual campout/reunion and it was a lot of fun. It completely wore me out even though I didn't really do anything, and I took lots of naps.

I guess the real sign that it was a successful camping experience is when your kids have so much fun they don't want to leave. Hazel and the rest of her girl cousins were all crying because they didn't want to go home. They had so much fun playing together.

Anyway, one of the activities that my family has started to do at these reunions is our family's version of "The Amazing Race." Last year we did one up at Lava Hot Springs, and this year it was in Manti. It also encompassed Ephraim and a few of the other small towns in the area.

I told Shane if I had been thinking I would have made sure to include a visit to my friend that lives down there, but me and my pregnancy brain, I only thought of it while we were doing the amazing race and didn't have her phone number. :S

Anyway, last year it was okay, but we were all stressed trying to WIN the race. This year, we just had fun and started taking pictures of everything we thought was funny/weird/interesting and it was a lot more enjoyable.

Harrison is sitting in front of a statue of Moroni. I thought it was cool that it also included the Manti Temple in the background.

This is one of our "interesting" pictures. There are many beautiful and unique old houses in this area. I took a picture of this one because it was the bishop's storehouse.

This is one of our "funny" pictures. This toilet was just sitting by the side of the road in front of a house.

On our way to some of the venues we were supposed to locate, we passed these horses. Shane thought they were hilarious because they looked like twins, but it looked like they didn't want to be next to each other.

Hazel is standing in front of one of the pioneer homes we were supposed to find. I love how she has a red punch upper lip that makes her mouth look huge. :)

We had to have someone take our picture in front of these statues at Snow College. I think it actually turned out pretty cute...other than my kids aren't smiling. ;)

Proof that I really am pregnant. ;) I am standing in front of a small cabin that was used as the Manti School. It was pretty cool to see where pioneer children had to learn. This was actually located next to a pioneer home museum, and we have pictures of that too, but I will put it in another post.

Dishes

2011-06-22T03:59:00.003-06:00

Considering the oodles of times we have done the dishes and our kids have helped us, it is always an eyeopener to me when I realize what they have learned just from watching and doing, and what they haven't. :)

Yesterday was an interesting day. For some reason it was NOT a good day for me or my body and I was basically bedridden all day long trying to get my mind and heart to relax.

So, Harrison was asked to do the dishes by himself. He is very good at loading and unloading the dishwasher, so Shane thought he would be just fine washing the pots and pans alone.

He probably would have...if he hadn't poured an extreme amount of dish soap in the sink. There were so many bubbles! He couldn't even rinse the dishes in the clean side because the soap was so concentrated that it just made the rinse side soapy too.

I asked Harrison why he put so much soap in. He glared at me and informed me that he didn't KNOW how much he was SUPPOSED to put in! (apparently asking mom or dad the amount of soap needed for one sink of water was not up for consideration...)

I thought it was pretty funny. :) Harrison didn't appreciate my humor.

What a Relief!

2011-06-21T06:00:00.001-06:00

So, a few days ago I wrote about how we got a voucher for golf and how it seemed like a good deal, but after reading the fine print, wondered if we had just gotten scammed.

Shane called them, and asked. The person on the phone was like, "It says that? That's stupid. You can't play five rounds of golf and use five buckets of balls in one visit!" (Thank you. Thank you very much! :) And then let Shane know that the voucher really was good until the end of the year.

So that was definitely a bright spot to the day!

Kind of funny...in a way... :)

2011-06-20T10:20:00.002-06:00

So, I think most of you know if you read this blog that I am currently unable to work because my body freaks out if I so much as walk...pretty much anywhere. Going to the store and church are pretty much the limit of my outside adventures. (Oh yeah, and the doctor's office because it's SO FUN to go there...)

Well, a few months ago I had some pain in my back on the side. Usually this means you have a kidney infection or a kidney stone, but lucky me, it doesn't mean anything, it just means my body wants to have excruciating pain in that exact location.

From that experience the sweet ladies in my ward (they really are nice) I guess decided that the reason I can't work is because of that. I love how rumors get started. ;) Of course, the info only gets shared when really nice people are trying to decide who they can give service to by giving them extra food.

I guess one of the youth camps just got finished and they had a lot of food left over so they were trying to find people that needed that food, but it's not a ready made meal. It's food that's prepared that needs to be made into a meal.

So the person in charge of this food found out about me and called to see if I would be interested. Well Yeah! Then they proceeded to tell me what they had been told and then how my husband had given them the...more accurate version of the story. :)

It made me laugh when I found out, and believe me I need all the laughs I can get right now!

Hmm...it appeared to be good...

2011-06-19T03:54:00.003-06:00

So my dear hubby was looking for deals on the internet. Usually I am the one going, Honey look! Look at this amazing deal! He'll come in read the FINE print that I usually ignore even though I shouldn't and point out something quite crucial. Hmm, I guess it's NOT that great of a deal.

Well...this time I think it's on him. We bought a voucher for Father's Day for golfing. My dad likes to golf. He admits he isn't good at it, but he enjoys it, and it is good exercise for him. Plus it gets him away from the house. :)

So when my hubby saw this AMAZING deal, he thought, WOW that sounds awesome! He asked me if I thought he would like it for Father's Day. Well, YEAH, since my dad enjoys golf so much, I'm sure he would!

After discussing it a little more, my hubby decided to get one for himself too so my dad wouldn't have to go alone.

Well...here's the deal. You get 5 rounds of golf and 5 buckets of driving range balls for a certain price. AMAZING DEAL! Then...in microscopic lettering... "must be used in ONE visit." One visit?! Who in their right mind plays 5 rounds of golf in one visit?

All I can say...they are going to have ONE AMAZING DAY of golf. ;)

Bounceback

2011-06-16T07:25:00.002-06:00

Well, I suppose today will be the real test to see how Hazel is doing. She's still asleep at the moment so I can't accurately say at this point, but YESTERDAY she was doing amazing.

When I had my tonsils out (granted I was 26 but still...) I thought I did pretty good for having them out when I was an adult. I had heard horror stories and was quite anxious but knew that they needed to be removed. It took me about a week to feel decent again.

Harrison had his tonsils out when he was about 5 and it took him 2 or 3 days. Kids usually bounce back more quickly then adults.

Hazel definitely beat the record. She only needed advil for the pain all day and even then I started waiting until she told me she hurt, because the time she could have more would come and go and she would still be doing just wonderful and would look at me like I was NUTS when I asked her if she needed more medicine.

Sometimes the pain with a tonsillectomy starts out small and then gets worse though, so we'll see. She tends to like the colder things for her throat, and I thought I would too when I got mine out, but the things that felt the best to me were warm things like thin mashed potatoes and thin oatmeal. I know. Yummy. They soothed my throat though so I didn't care.

The best thing about getting MY tonsils out was that I wasn't sick anymore. For almost a year. And I could breathe through my nose again. It was so wonderful! So, if you are an adult and you still have your tonsils and you are sick all the time...I will be the first one to say it is WORTH THE PAIN and definitely worth looking into. I still don't think I have had a strep infection since then, and at the time I would get two or three a year, on top of just feeling yucky a lot of the time.

Hazel can already breath better. YAY! Maybe today I will be able to convince to put on some play clothes and we will go to the park. Maybe. The doctor actually recommended letting her do whatever she felt like doing, so we'll see. She probably would have felt like doing that yesterday! She was up all day and didn't go to sleep until she normally would have so that's all a good sign. :)

Today

2011-06-14T16:02:00.003-06:00

Hazel had her tonsils out today. I had them save them so I could see how big they were. (I know, GROSS, but also intriguing...;) I like to visually see that I'm not crazy and they really needed to be removed.

When the doctor came back to talk to us, he even made the comment that they were larger than he remembered, and DEFINITELY needed to be removed. I would say they were each about the size of a date.

Everything went really well though, so I am glad about that. She has been recovering well too...so far. Hopefully she will be doing just as good or better tomorrow.

She was really nervous in the days preceding today, but last night Shane gave her a blessing and this morning she was almost giddy. She was giggling in her hospital room and blowing bubbles everywhere and one happy camper.

Then she was given some versed, and she became REALLY loopy. I just kept thinking, well, I'm glad she's happy now, because she probably won't be happy later... but she really only had a moment where she wasn't very happy when she first came out of recovery, and the rest of the time she did fantastic.

3 Hours

2011-06-13T15:13:00.003-06:00

So, I went and took the three hour glucose tolerance test on Friday. It was a LONG day. I'm glad I didn't get sick since I basically didn't get to eat anything until 2 PM.

I've decided there is really only one glucose drink that tastes good.
There seem to be a couple of flavors... the most popular being orange, but I guess there is also fruit punch, lemon-lime, and cola.

I haven't had the opportunity to try fruit punch yet. Maybe it tastes like a super concentrated syrupy version of Hawaiian Punch, and if that's the case, than I would probably like it, since I have a mega sweet tooth and have always liked Hawaiian Punch. :)

I have however had the unfortunate adventure of drinking the cola flavored one. Blech! I have never had a problem drinking the glucose drinks, but when I was pregnant with Hazel, they gave me a cola flavored one...and it was warm instead of cold...and they didn't give me any ice to drink with it. Yeah, it was nasty.

I imagine it tasted similar to what Coca cola would taste like after you left it sitting out on the table for a week. Since I've never actually done that, I can't say it's EXACTLY like it, but it still makes me cringe just thinking about it, and that was over seven years ago!

The flavor they had at the lab was lemon-lime. It was okay at first, but it had a nasty after taste and it got more and more difficult to swallow the farther along I got. I thought for the most part it tasted kind of like flat sprite.

My favorite flavor is orange because it tastes like orange hi-c which is what I always like to get when I go to the movies and I don't have to worry about my sugar intake. I have a feeling it will have to be a happy memory. :)

My arms survived the experience, although one is nice and bruised. I am hoping that I am just borderline, so we will keep on hoping until I hear otherwise. :)

Kid Logic

2011-06-10T07:00:00.003-06:00

The other day I had the computer screen on my blog and Hazel came in the room. She sat there with an intent look on her face looking at the screen and then commented, "Oh, the baby is sleeping...wait, now he's awake!"

I knew that she thought the baby countdown ticker was an actual representation of our baby so I told her, "You know, the baby on the computer isn't the baby growing in mommy's tummy. It's just a drawing and counts down the days left til the baby is supposed to be born..."

A look of knowing crossed her face. "Ohhhh... Yeah, and THAT baby doesn't have any clothes on!"

"Well, the baby inside me doesn't have any clothes on either...neither did you when you were born!" Her eyes got huge.

"I didn't?"

"Nope, you have to provide clothes for the baby after they are born."

I could tell, she was quite intrigued that the baby not only didn't look exactly like the baby on the countdown ticker, but that the baby was ALSO NAKED!

Glucose Screening

2011-06-09T07:14:00.002-06:00

Well, I got the results back from the glucose screening that I did last week at the doctor's office.

I failed.

Yay me.

So, now I get to go and do the lovely 3 hour glucose screening test. I had to do this when I was pregnant with Hazel too. It's really not as terrible as it sounds...even though getting your arm stuck with a needle once every hour for three hours certainly isn't a joyride, there are definitely worse things.

Hopefully the result will be the same as it was when I was pregnant with Hazel, and I will just be "borderline" and have to watch my sugar intake.

If not, we will be treading in new waters. What an adventure! :)

Author

2011-06-08T06:59:00.002-06:00

Well, I just finished reading another book by Janette Rallison. I LOVE HER BOOKS! They are so funny. She writes YA (Young Adult) fiction, so there are a few differences in the way things turn out versus an Adult fiction book, but her books are just enjoyable.

No bad language. Nothing questionable, and she is still able to write a funny, quirky, teenage book and has a great writing voice. I know that is HARD for some people to believe when a lot of authors, either because of outside editing "recommendations" or whatever, end up putting things in their books that don't need to be there, or because they think that is what readers want.

Well, I'm sorry, but I DON'T like reading swearwords, or explicit love scenes. This would probably explain why when I go to the library I tend to look for books published by Christian publishing houses. Bethany House, Zondervan, and there are a few others.

Young Adult books are more difficult to characterize that way. I always feel like I am taking a chance when I check one out, but the chances are higher that I will find a good clean book, than if I were to do the same thing in the Adult section of books.

I know I have written about Janette Rallison in a previous book review post (for My Fair Godmother, which is so funny I want to check it out and read it again...)

It is somewhat comforting to me to know that there is an author who has a similar writing style as Meg Cabot, who wrote all the Princess Diaries (which I would NEVER EVER EVER let my daughter read, they are TERRIBLE!! and are supposedly geared toward tweens...) but without all the smut.

Anyway, the latest book I read is called, "My Double Life." It's about a girl who looks almost identical to a celebrity, so she is asked to hire on as her double. It's a cute book, with a nice ending, and I would not be surprised if at some point in the future I decided to buy all of Janette Rallison's books just so I have them in my personal library.

Books

2011-06-07T11:09:00.002-06:00

So, since I am home a lot more, and technically not supposed to really do anything, I find I have a lot more time to read. Since I LOVE to read, this isn't a big deal. Of course, our library isn't super huge, but it does have an okay selection, and I always seem to find something to check out. I usually end up with a basket full.

The way a book ends is always interesting. You either like the ending or you hate it. Well...I just finished reading a book, and the book was actually pretty good, but the ending...blah! It was a "I'm tired of writing this book so it's going to end HERE" ending.

A cut off. Sometimes these types of endings happen in books that are a series, so you'll read the next book. This book, however, is NOT in a series, and I was left sitting there wondering why I had wasted all that time reading a book with a chopped ending!

Oh well. I guess it just means that it's time to go to the library again. :)

Wow

2011-06-06T08:51:00.003-06:00

Something happened over the weekend...a kind of funny thing. At least I took it as such. I call it, "something you should never say to a pregnant woman..."

You know how there's things that you should never say to someone, especially females? I think some of them are: How old are you? How much do you weigh? Are you pregnant? These are all things that can make you put your foot in your mouth.

Well, the other day I was somewhere, and someone commented to me (word for word here): WOW Melissa you're HUGE! Last time I checked...not something you should say to a pregnant woman...or any person for that matter.

Granted, this particular female is about 5'11 tall and super skinny, so I'm sure when she was pregnant with her kids, her belly didn't get very big...and she's not exactly known for being tactful. I'm barely 5'3 so when I get pregnant there is NO WHERE for the growth to go but OUT. I'm pretty ecstatic that I actually look pregnant. :)

It gave me a good laugh. It made Shane shake his head when I told him about it later.

X-Men First Class

2011-06-05T09:51:00.002-06:00

Well, we went and saw the movie X-men First Class. When I saw the previews for this movie I was really excited about it coming out. It looked REALLY good. What I saw...created a conflict of emotions.

So here are my pro's and con's to this movie, and you can decide for yourself what you think.

Pro's:

The acting was really well done. The parts the actors played, were definitely superb. From an acting standpoint, this movie was amazing.

Con's:
This is pretty much what ruined the movie for me, and in many ways, made me wish I hadn't seen it.

There are at least three scenes that involve women dressed in nothing but bras and panties.

One scene takes place in a Las Vegas club in the 60's and all the show girls are only wearing underwear. It bugged me. A lot. Then they each took the guy they were supposed to be with and took them into an enclosed table room.

Another scene took place in a strip club. Granted it didn't show any stripping (thank goodness) but the clothes still made me uncomfortable and wondering why I didn't just walk out.

A third scene, one of the mutants, who really only seemed to wear underwear the entire movie, was involved with a Russian offical's mind, making him think he was having a fling. He was fully clothed, but still. Blech.

There wasn't very much swearing, but the one word that did get used, one time, definitely but a damper on the whole entire show. I'm sure you can imagine what that one word was.

There was a lot of violence, which I expected from the preview, but it was EXTREMELY graphic. Parts of it were very disturbing.

So, in my own opinion...this is not a movie for kids, or even young teens. I don't think I will ever watch it again unless I get a clearplay dvd player. I wish I had done what I normally do, and checked IMDB before I went to it. I could have saved a lot of money.

It was a movie that I left, thinking, why did they add all the yuckiness to that show...it could have been really good.

Scary doesn't even begin...

2011-06-03T17:40:00.002-06:00

I think I can breathe again now...
Hazel was missing. Walking the dog. Gone.
No idea where she went. She's not old enough to walk the dog alone.
Didn't even know she had come home from her friends house. (Yeah, new rule now...)
Shane went to look for her.
Neighbors were talked to.
It was like she had disappeared into thin air.
Called the police.
They found her within 20 minutes.
She was still walking the dog. They brought her home safe.

The officer told me that in 75% of abduction cases, the child is DEAD within three hours after missing. Don't delay calling the police. Most people don't call until their child has been missing for three hours. We called after an hour. If this EVER happens again (hope it doesn't) we will call sooner.

The Last Day

2011-06-02T07:44:00.003-06:00

Today is the last day of school for the kids. I think they are both really excited. When we took Hazel to have her "tonsil evaluation" a couple of weeks ago, one of the options for surgery dates was May 31st. I knew that if she got her tonsils out then, she would miss the last few days of school.

From an academic standpoint, that wouldn't have been a big deal, since they haven't technically really learned anything since last week, but from a kid standpoint, I knew it would be huge.

So, we asked Hazel. I reminded her it would mean she would miss the last few days of school. She sat there for a minute, and then responded... "But then I would miss all the parties!" She is one smart kid! :)

Anyway, yesterday was my appointment with Dr. Arrington. I think it went well. He told me that as long as my heart rate doesn't stay up high, we should be okay. Since my heart rate went back down to the low hundreds fairly quickly, that was a good thing.

I guess when you are pregnant your body has a higher volume of blood, so it is not unusual for the heart to beat a little faster, but 120's is kind of borderline, and above that, they don't like. At least my doctor doesn't.

The other good thing is my blood pressure is really good, and my legs aren't swelling. Those were the other things he was concerned about. If they weren't good...well, I'm sure I would have been put on bed rest instead of just "taking it easy." :)

He gave me the okay to go on our camping trip...yay! Unless of course something happens, but I think as long as I just keep taking it easy, I will be okay.

I always find it interesting that when you can't take it easy and rest, you always wish you could, but when you are FORCED to do it, it is one of the most difficult things to deal with. I keep looking at my house and all the things that need to be done, and actually have a desire to do, and...I can't.

Oh well! :)

Here's to Hoping

2011-05-31T04:59:00.002-06:00

So, another day has come and gone.

Yesterday I decided to sit and help clean my daughter's room while my son cleaned other areas of the house. Shane helped a ton too. If he hadn't been able to help, nothing would have happened.

Anyway, apparently the stress of getting our kids to do what they are supposed to, is WAY too stressful for me. I went and checked my heart rate and it was 149. YIKES! After which I immediately laid down and drank some more water. After an hour it went down to 104.

So, it will be interesting to see what Dr. Arrington recommends when I go to my next appointment. Hopefully I will still be able to go on our family camping trip, but if not...oh well. I will definitely be disappointed, but I want a healthy baby more. :)

There are a few things that I do that help me stay calm and not get worried about things. Prayer is definitely on there. :) I tend to look at my kids' baby pictures a lot now. It gives me hope that there will be a good outcome to all of this, and it helps me think about what the baby will look like when he is born.

I guess in everything that is going on I forgot to mention the name we have decided on. I don't mind sharing it with people, and one of the things I find most interesting is people's reactions to what you tell them. It is SO obvious when they don't really like the name you have picked out. That's okay though, since it's your baby and not theirs!! :)

So, unless the baby is born and we both feel like this name just isn't "the one" we are going to name him: Jeffrey LaMonte. I know LaMonte is a little more on the unusual side, but it is very much a family name, and it sounds good with Jeffrey, so, that is why we picked it.

My brother asked me if he could call him Jeff, and I told him sure. Jeff, Jeffrey, it's all good. :)

People

2011-05-26T04:42:00.002-06:00

Well, here I am again in the early hours of the morning. I seem to sleep well until I have to use the bathroom, and then something in my brain says, "Stay awake! No sleeping!" Oh well. It's better to be hydrated right?

Anyway, I read the news on a news website since we don't have regular tv. They have comment boards, and occasionally I will read what people write. Most of the time I realize that you are going to get both sides of the extreme opinions out there, and occasionally I have been surprised at how nice people have been to each other.

Well, there was a story on there today, that I thought was interesting. The comments, I found...sad. They made me sad. The story was from people who survived the tornado in Missouri in a church, and they all commented how they had felt "hands protecting them." To me, that is inspirational. To have that much faith and to feel peace in a time of calamity.

Every single comment except one was almost venomous in their disgust of the victims reactions to this experience. One even commented that he found it "insulting" because of the 100+ other people that died in the tornado.

I feel like we have come to a point in our world that we have to criticize and tear down anything positive. From a tragic event where there is one spot of happiness, people have to be mean. Why? I'm sure these people that survived, are just so grateful. To not be injured, to be able to walk out and go home and be with their families. And at the same time, I KNOW that they also have to be wondering the same thing EVERY OTHER survivor is wondering... why me, why did I survive and those other people die?

If they turn to their faith and religion to find answers to that, I think that is great. It shows me how much faith and trust they have in God.

I am sure that there are people who if I told them, that a daily miracle takes place in my life, would think I am nuts. That's fine for them, but it brings me hope and peace. This pregnancy in and of itself is a miracle.

The fact that I am staying pregnant...a miracle. Even when I find things out that should be making me have an anxiety attack, I am able to feel peace and comfort. If you had any idea how nervous I can get about things, you would KNOW that the ONLY reason I am able to be at peace and comforted is because of a higher power beyond myself, and I acknowledge that respectfully and gratefully. And yes, it is a miracle. :)

We all experience little miracles every day if we look for them. Those people in Missouri that survived...they experienced a miracle too, and I think the real tragedy here is the people that can't see that.

So Happy!

2011-05-25T05:17:00.001-06:00

I am so happy to write that after SEVEN YEARS my friends were finally able to adopt!

Ultrasound 2

2011-05-24T12:13:00.002-06:00

Well, a few interesting things. I noticed that my baby counter is under 100 days now....SWEET!!!

Today was my second ultrasound. They were still unable to see the left kidney on the baby. So, it most likely isn't there...but if it is, it is in a different spot than it normally would be.

Even though it was a different perinatologist he basically said the same thing as the other one, and that it is something that should be kept up on, especially after the baby is born. I talked to him for a few minutes about it though, and it seems that health-wise, things won't really be that different, but the baby may be more prone to UTI's than other people.

Really, it seemed like it was important to keep tabs on just from a medical standpoint for future reference. This made sense to me because there are a lot of incisions and things done in surgery, based on anatomical location of things. So, if there IS a kidney and the ureter and kidney are in an unusual location, that would be important to know if he ever had to have a surgery on something in that area of the body.

So, it was recommended again that I have another ultrasound in 4 weeks. I guess that means that I am being monitered by a perinatologist and being taken care of by an OB/GYN. I talked to the perinatologist about that too.

He strongly encouraged me to have a glucose screening done ASAP, which is usually done at about 28 weeks. My appointment with Dr. Arrington is next week though, so they will probably do it then. I guess I have a higher than normal amount of amniotic fluid, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I guess it is an indicator that I might be gestationally diabetic. So, we'll see what happens with that! Hopefully I am just borderline like I was with Hazel, and I just have to be more diligent in not eating sweets.

Everything else still looked good though, so, I am glad about that. :)

Sewing

2011-05-20T21:49:00.002-06:00

So, I am trying out my sewing skills... they really aren't all that spectacular, but I got some flannel from one of the sisters that I visit teach. (A really sweet lady that is 92). If I am that healthy at 92 I will consider myself in good condition.

Anyway, it motivated me to use a piece of flannel for the backing that I already had, and just hadn't gotten around to using. So, I made it into a receiving blanket. It doesn't look too terrible. :)

Then, in a real spark of creativity I looked up a tutorial on how to make a car seat canopy (or cover, whatever...) and decided it didn't look too difficult, so we went to the fabric store and bought fabric and I am actually working on it. I guess my brain needs something to keep it busy since I can't do much right now anyway.

So, hopefully the end product will look cute and will actually turn out. I still need to get some flannel to make a flannel one. I guess I will have to stoop to getting it at Wal-Mart since their flannel is cute, and for some reason I can find oodles of flannel when I DON'T need it, but now that I do, the selection is quite dismal at the other stores.

I think Shane is just happy that I am actually using the sewing machine that I had him buy me for Christmas a couple years ago since it was a steal of a deal Bernina, and that is the kind of machine I have wanted for a long time.

It's just a little Bernette, but since I don't sew a gazillion things, it is perfect for what I need.

It was a lot of fun when I was making the little blanket because Hazel wanted to watch and help me with it all. I loved it. It was a good moment. Hazel is at that age where she wants to help and actually does a pretty good job at it.

Flowers

2011-05-18T09:11:00.002-06:00

Well, it has definitely been an interesting spring here. I thought last week that "maybe" I would be able to finally turn the furnace off. I think that lasted about a day and then another cold front moved in. :)

On the plus side, I think this is the first time ever that my daffodils bloomed for more than just a few days. They were bright and beautiful for a couple of weeks! My irises have finally started to start, but it will be a while yet before they bloom.

I asked Shane when it would be time for him to start working with the beehives we have up at his parents, and he told me the weather was still too cold and wet...which I had kind of already thought of, but I was just curious to see if I was right.

It started out sunny this morning, but then a bank of dark clouds came over the mountain. I didn't feel so bad about letting Hazel wear her lined jeans to school that she loves to wear when it is cold. When I bought them I wondered if she would get any use out of them, and she definitely has. It was a smart purchase!

We are supposed to go to a family reunion in June, and I hope it warms up a little before then. If not, I am sure we will still have fun, and we have a trailer with a heater that works! So, no worries there. :)

I am enjoying my time off. Well, it has been nice to be able to take it easy anyway. I have to keep thinking of things I can do so I don't get bored and go nutty. It has been good because our laundry is finally getting caught up, even though Shane has to carry the laundry hampers up and down the stairs for me.

It has also given me plenty of time to work on the afghan I am making for the baby. If I get really gung ho I may even take pictures of it and put them on here so you can see what it looks like.

Update

2011-05-13T16:38:00.002-06:00

So, on Monday I went to my doctor appointment. I told him about the heart rate thing, and also about the ultrasound.

Because I work in the operating room, he told me that before he completely had me stop working he would like me to try wearing compression socks and drinking as much water as I could in between cases.

I figured it was worth a shot and better than having to go on a super early maternity leave. Plus it made sense that my heart would be working harder if I was dehydrated.

Since Tuesday was my day off, I gave it a shot on Wednesday. Well...that didn't go so well. I wore my compression socks, which are actually quite comfortable even though they aren't that attractive, and since I was floating (basically helping out where needed) it gave me the perfect chance to stay fully hydrated. By 9:30 I had already drank about 30 oz of water. I know that sounds like a lot in a short time but I had been up since 5:30.

Well, things were busy, and I was was busy, but not rushing around the way I normally would because I was trying to keep my heart rate down. It was still at 122. If I had been rushing around I can imagine that it would have been in the 130's or even 140's.

So, I called my doctor's office and told them what was going on. They told me that he recommended that I go home, but if I felt comfortable staying I could as long as I checked my heart rate twice an hour and it DIDN'T go into the 130-140 range. (The only reason I was able to even try and do that was because I was floating. If I had been in a room, it wouldn't really have been possible.)

They also told me that if I wanted to be given a work release from work that he would be willing to do that too, since it wasn't worth the risk to me or the baby, but it was up to me.

So, I decided to try and stay til lunch, after talking to my manager. I almost made it, but by 11:00 I could tell that my body was begging me to lay down. This is usually manifested by my uterus contracting and sometimes being painful. I know. Not good things really.

I also called my doctor's office again and let them know, so I faxed them the paperwork that they needed to fill out.

It's weird for me, because technically I am not on bed rest, there is just no way I can adequately do my job without a lot of consideration, and it's not really fair for anyone at work if I am there and can't really do much.

So, I am just trying to take it easy, and if I feel like I need to rest, I do. I still can't do much, because if I do my heart rate shoots up, but at least I have the option of slowing down to a pace I CAN do things at...like fold laundry. ;)

May 8th Day

2011-05-10T07:03:00.003-06:00

Ah, my kids make me laugh by their antics at times.

Sunday was Mother's Day, so at church they gave us a flower to "grow." I put quotes around that because anything I seem to try and grow tends to die. So I always whisper to Shane (being funny of course) YAY! I'm getting another flower to kill! How long to you think it will take me this time?

One year I was doing pretty good, and then my sweet kids, trying to be helpful, killed it for me.

Anyway, there were some flowers left over so Shane brought some home to give to our neighbors who either don't go to our church, or just weren't there for whatever reason.

Shane had the kids go deliver them yesterday and specifically told them to tell them they were for Mother's Day.

So, Harrison, in his intellectual way, decided that wasn't good enough, so when he delivered his flower, he told them it was for May 8th Day! It made me laugh, Shane was a little upset. ;)

Then yesterday Hazel was doing her homework. She had finished most of it so I was just looking it over to make sure she finished every problem when I saw one of her homework pages. I think they were trying to get the kids used to story problems or sequence. Anyway, on this particular problem, Hazel was supposed to draw a picture of something she enjoys doing and then label it. Next to the problem in BIG letters, Hazel had written NO.

It just made me laugh and laugh. Of course then I made her do the problem correctly. I told Shane she learned it from him because he's such a tease and is always saying funny things.

Tired

2011-05-06T22:24:00.003-06:00

What a wild and crazy week this week has been! At work, previously, they were starting to try and not have me come in as much so we could all get used to me being PRN. It was nice, and I was able to rest a lot.

Well, this week, one coworker tech had a family situation (very sad one), and another coworker tech had scheduled vacation time, topped with a very busy surgical schedule...so I worked every day this week.

This was also the week that I was supposed to be on call for the weekend.

Well, my body let me know that it had had it. This afternoon I felt like my heart was racing a little so I checked my pulse on one of the machines and it was pretty high. I told my coworker that also works as an EMT and he was more than concerned for my welfare, and encouraged me to go tell the manager...which I did, and both she, the anesthesiologist and the charge nurse felt like I should go get checked in labor and delivery and just see if my heart rate went down when I laid down, and make sure that the baby was doing okay.

I don't have a problem doing a little more than I should when it comes to prenatal care. If the nurses in labor and delivery get sick of me, then oh well. I don't think they would though. I know that majority of people working in labor and delivery would much rather deal with overprotective patients, then the patients that wait too long and end up with a very sad situation to deal with.

So, anyway, I went and got checked, and everything was fine, and my heart rate was decent. Still, everyone felt like I needed to go home and rest, (which was fine with me, and I agreed with them) and so, one coworker offered to take call for this afternoon until midnight, and the other coworker offered to take call from Saturday morning until Monday, so I can rest and be ready for Monday when we have another big day. I thought it was really nice of them to be willing to cover for me, so now I just have to take call from midnight until 9 AM.

So, it's back to bed for me. I hope the rest will help! :) I will definitely have things to discuss with my doctor at my appointment Monday afternoon though, that's for sure...

Fun

2011-05-01T09:38:00.002-06:00

So, yesterday we went to a bunch of yard sales. Normally this would not be the first time we have done it in the year, but this spring has been especially wet and cold...and yesterday was no different. It was SNOWING.

Granted, where we live it was just tiny flakes and there weren't many of them but the fact I was bundled up in my heavy winter coat with gloves on...well...usually by now I don't have the furnace turned on in our house, and the windows are usually open to let in cooler air. I think we've opened the windows twice...maybe...and only for short intervals.

I don't care what anybody says, this is not "normal" for where we live. Usually the freak snow storms stop by the end of March. On a rare occasion we have had one at the beginning of June, but not as frequently as we have had them this year. I don't think it would surprise me at all if we got a freak snow storm in June this year.

Anyway, so we went to some yard sales. I was HOPING to find some clothes for Hazel, but the one yard sale that was supposed to have clothes her size decided to cancel because of the weather. Well, apparently everyone is desperate for some warmer weather because there were TONS of people scoping out the yard sales. Those people missed out on a lot of shoppers! :)

We didn't really find anything at the other yard sales we went to. There was one yard sale that had some amazingly nice stuff at good prices, but they were still out of our price range. I'm talking, a nice two door fridge with wood paneling that could only have been a few years old, and they were selling it for $300. That is a KILLER deal! But, not in our budget. They also had a TV armoire and a computer armoire both for $85 and they were BOTH made out of solid wood.

Other than that there wasn't really anything to get excited about.

Later in the afternoon Shane and I went to a family "adults only" dinner. Basically our birthday dinner I guess, and that was nice. We got to talk to most of my siblings and catch up on what is going on in their lives. :)

Then OF COURSE we had to go to the local DI (thrift store) and that is where we found A LOT of things. Sometimes you go to the DI and there isn't anything much, but we had good luck last night! I found a crib set that looked really nice and it was the whole set, and it was blue, and it was cute! So, we spent $10 on a crib set instead of $124 for the other one that I liked online. ;)

All in all an enjoyable day.

New Things

2011-04-26T10:51:00.002-06:00

So, Easter weekend was so much fun! It was also the school's spring break, so Harrison and Hazel had Friday and Monday off from school. So, on Friday we took the kids over to "Baby Animal Days" which is on a historic farm. It's funny really, because my kids see baby animals all the time for free, but there is something different about seeing baby animals on a "historic farm..."

Hazel especially wanted to ride a pony, but after looking at the line, I told her that daddy had lots of cousins who owned ponies, and I was positive that if we called them up and arranged a time, they would be more than happy to let her come and ride one for as long as she wanted! (I was right, too, but we haven't done it yet.)

We asked Shane's mom if she would like to come with us, and she did. We had such an enjoyable time. Some of Shane's cousins help with the activities they do on the farm, and we had a lot of fun interacting with them.

Saturday we had our annual Easter party at my parent's house. We go eat lunch and then have a big Easter egg hunt afterward. It was good to see some of my siblings that I haven't seen for months!

Also about this time we had decided that we needed to start looking for a new camping trailer. We knew a few things...we didn't want to get a loan, but if we had to, then we knew the max we wanted to pay on a loan. This equaled just a few thousand. We wanted a trailer with enough room so everyone could sleep in it comfortably, and we wanted it to have a working bathroom.

So, we kept our eyes on the lookout for a trailer on ksl.com which has a classifieds section, and there were a few trailers that looked half decent. Then a trailer came on that looked really good. It even had a full-size bed in the back as well as a dinette in the front that turned into a full-size bed and a bunk overhead. We went and looked at it, and these people had kept it in such good condition. It is a 1983 trailer, but it was nice and clean on the inside.

The best part...after looking at our finances and tax return, we realized we didn't even need to get a loan at all!! Perfect! So, we went and picked it up yesterday. It even pulls really well with our Yukon which was one thing we were kind of worried about.

Maybe one of these days I'll even post pictures of our first trailer and our trailer that we just bought...hahaha... The kids were both ecstatic when we told them we were getting a bigger trailer. So, it is exciting and makes us all want to go on a camping trip. :)

Sunny!

2011-04-22T09:57:00.002-06:00

It is FINALLY sunny today! Yay! Yesterday we had a crazy thunderstorm. Shane and I were on a "mini-date" during the day because I didn't have to go to work, and as we were driving the emergency broadcast system came on warning of a severe thunderstorm with instructions to find shelter indoors and to stay away from windows.

I kind of felt like I was watching the Wizard of Oz or something. Then I turned my head to the west and the darkest meanest thundercloud was over there.

Even with that it took about an hour and a half for it to get to where we were. So we still had a very enjoyable time and we were in our car when it started. It was CRAZY!

Today is the start of my kids spring break, and to celebrate we are working in the yard. :) I'm sure we will do something fun later, but it is actually sunny and beautiful! Considering that it is supposed to rain again starting on Sunday, we have to take advantage of the nice bright weather while we can!

Plus, I have to enjoy the one day of spring I will probably get this year. ;)

Hmm...

2011-04-19T12:01:00.002-06:00

So, today was my big OB ultrasound. I didn't realize it, but the place my doctor had me have an ultrasound actually has a perinatologist look at the ultrasound and verify things too. I thought that was pretty cool.

Here are the things we learned. The baby is definitely a boy. :) He wasn't shy in sharing that information with us. The heart looked really good, and it was neat to be able to see all the chambers and things. Everything looked normal and good except they could only see and verify one kidney.

So, next month I have a follow up ultrasound to see if they can see both kidneys. They may have to wait until the baby is born to see both kidneys, or our baby may only have one kidney.

While of course it would be optimal to have both kidneys, it isn't terrible to only have one kidney...as long as the kidney is functional, and they could tell on the ultrasound that it was functioning.

The other interesting thing that happened with this appointment, was that while I had made the appointment for April 19th, somehow it got scheduled for May 19th. WOW. For a minute I thought they were going to make me come back on May 19th, which wouldn't have worked because it's my call day at work, but they just figured it was a scheduling error and fit me in when my appointment was supposed to be scheduled for. I was impressed by that, because not very many places would do that.

Just Stuff

2011-04-18T21:10:00.002-06:00

Well, it has been awhile since I last posted. Things have just been the same. Nothing different has really happened...unless you include the rain, rain, rain, that makes me feel like I live in Seattle. :)

I go for my big diagnostic ultrasound tomorrow. That is pretty exciting. It always amazes me how things in the medical world change so rapidly. For example, and this may sound silly, but when I was pregnant with Harrison and you got an ultrasound...only one unless there were extreme complications, you always had to drink a lot of fluid before the ultrasound. Now, you don't. I think it depends on the type of machine that they use, but I specifically asked, and I was told that I didn't need to. WOW. (I know, kind of silly...)

It is also interesting to note other things that have changed since I was pregnant with Harrison. Granted, this is 10-11 years ago, but still...

Car seats have expiration dates on them. They all have five-point harnesses. When Harrison was an infant, most of them were three-point harnesses.

You have to be careful to buy phb free plastic bottles. Glass bottles are recommended.

They have cool covers for car seats so you don't have to put blankets on your baby in the winter.

You can only take Tylenol for pain. When I was pregnant with Harrison they used to tell you that you could take ibuprofen until your 3rd trimester. I know why they don't recommend it at all now, but still...interesting.

Those are just a few examples. There are MANY more!

Work has still been keeping me busy. I was hoping I would be able to start PRN in May, but that isn't going to happen. I will be working part-time in May. I will still be taking call every other week, and I have one more weekend of call. Man! I was hoping I was done with the weekend call!! :)

Now I really am looking quite pregnant. I would take a picture, but our camera has disappeared. Once we find it though, I will have Shane take a picture so I can post it on here.

So, see, in this case, no news is good news. :) I keep looking at my blog trying to decide what to write, and nothing is really happening or all that exciting right now. I realize though, that sometimes the normal, everyday stuff is just as nice to read about.

The Verdict

2011-04-08T13:10:00.003-06:00

So, we went to my doctor appointment Wednesday and Dr. Arrington was very nice and agreed to do an ultrasound to see if he could tell whether we were having a boy or a girl.

It seems pretty apparent by the picture that it is a boy. I suppose there is a slim chance it really is a girl, but...it's pretty obvious. Our big diagnostic ultrasound is in a few weeks so we will know for sure then, but I told Dr. Arrington that if he happened to be wrong (but I really don't think he is) then I could just tease him about it until the baby is born. ;)

Hazel was there with us, and I am glad that whenever we talked about the baby we made sure to remind her that it could be a boy. She really wanted a baby sister, but I think she handled it really well. I think she was kind of in awe of the whole ultrasound experience too. She hasn't ever seen a live ultrasound before, and I'm sure it was a lot to take in.

Harrison is very excited that he is going to have a little brother. I think out of all of us, he hoped it was a boy the most. :)

Shane is happy that so far the baby appears to be growing and healthy, but he really was hoping for a girl. :) I think the idea of having another son has grown on him though, and he isn't in as much shock as the day that we found out.

We have been trying to decide what we should name the baby now. We had a girl's name picked out. It's one we've had picked for a LONG time, but since it is a boy, we kind of had to switch gears. There is one name that we are kind of leaning toward more than others, but it is still too soon to say what we will actually end up naming the baby.

I think part of me is still in a state of wonder that I am actually pregnant, and the pregnancy is progressing the way it's supposed to. Each week that I stay pregnant, I consider a good week.

At this point the pregnancy has progressed past both of the miscarriages that I experienced, but there is still that little niggling of doubt. That wondering if this time will be the time when we end up with a baby. I try not to focus on it too much, and just keep focusing on the positive things, and that seems to help.